How to fix a broken relationship?

Lemme start at the beginning... I used to be a player... Real bad.. And I played this girl, I took her virginity, and then cheated on her... Then she cheated on me and it was over... Time went by, and after a couple of years, I ran into her again. She...

was beautiful, and I wanted to make up for breaking her heart. So I left her this really long message, and she called me back, we talked, and we hooked back up after being apart for like 2 years. Well we dated, and things got a little rough, Her parents are rich and judgemental, and they didn't like me because I lived in a trailor lol, and so anyways, we tried to work through our problems, and we didn't.. Things started falling appart, and eventually it was almost over so out of desperation to prove my love for her, I got her name tatoo'd on my arm. I found out a week later that after 2 years of being togather, she had been sleeping with a freind of mine, a freind of 6 years at that, who I am no longer freinds with. Turns out she had cheated on me a couple of times that I thought something was up but decided to trust her. anyways, it's been over 3 years since then and she's still with that guy, who now is starting to hit her and do messed up things to her, which I warned her of, beleive it or not after I found out she was cheatin on me, I was so in love with her I tried to save the relationship but that didn't work. so after me and her broke up, I was crushed right.. I didn't eat or drink or anything for like 3 and a half weeks, I just slept, and played online video games lol and cried like a little baby till I couldn't cry no more. So in my ventures online, I was in a music room, because I make music, and I was trying to show people my music, getting my mind off of the situation, and I met this girl. I'll call her T, so not to give her name out. She was from Montanna, I was in Florida... We talked on the net for a little and then we talked on the phone for just like an hour. she was trying to help me not be depressed anymore. she made me feel a bit better, and then she had to go. I didn't think I'd ever hear from her again, but she actually did call me back, and we started talkin more. after that, we talked every night, for 3 months, for like 8 hours a day at the least. I'm into signs and stuff, and I was seeing some real crazy signs that even my freinds were like whoa, thats wierd.. And I just had a feeling we should be togather. Well right before she came down to Florida she got drunk and cheated on me.. So I returned the favor, kind of, got oral, no sex, she actually had sex, either way we were both wrong, we called it even since we had never physically been togather, and moved forward. So you can see this perfect relationship had a rocky start. We fell deep in love, she moved all the way across the country with her 2 small children, who were 3 and 4 when they came into my life, and came to be with me. They're now turning 7 and 8 and I love them with all my heart. anyways, soon after she came to FL, I violated my probation and went to jail, leaving her and them alone in our house, my family made sure to take care of them and give them anything they needed while I was gone. While I was in Jail she had phone sex with someone, probably out of lonliness which was understandable, just another small dent in the relationship. time went by and we started fighting, I think she may be bipolar, though now we've found out that she's got the early stages of diabetis which contributes to her mood swings. She started to where she'd throw stuff at me, and then to where she'd shove me and eventually to where she'd hit me either with her fists or with objects, I've actually got scars lol. Anyways, Still love her, she still loves me. She actually went to jail because our neighbors reported what happened, and then she admitted to the cops that she hit me, dumb move, as I told the cops that we were just arguing... anyways, we've had a relationship where things are bad then good bad then good, and they're usually only bad when we're not doing good financially and are low on food and stuff like that then we get stressed and fight. We've been togather for 3 years now, and finally she got to go visit montanna where she's from, and when she was up there she decided she wanted to stay and knew I wouldn't go for it, so she cheated on me and then called me and told me in hopes that It would be easier to break up that way. I told her to get her A** home asap and we'd work things out. things were good for like a week after she got back, and then me and her went out because the kids are with they're grandparents, and we got wasted... got in a big fight, and she started breaking stuff then passed out after telling me the other guy was better just to hurt me. Well I was drunk, and she did hurt me, bad, and a hot chick I didn't even hardly know tried to make me feel better which turned into drunk sex. only lasted for about 1 min, then I felt so sick I stopped and that was the end of it. I told my girl what happened, and we were going to stick togather and call it even again. Well now we're at the store and who do we see? My ex... Akward right? well now my ex has found my number, through a mutual freind, and we started talking, and I left for work early today so I could sneak a call in to her, and my girl called me wondering why I left for work early, and I told her the truth, and she started trippin... Now I know it seems that we have a F'd up relationship, but we do love eachother very much, and I would never get back with my ex, I kinda just wanted to show my ex how much better I look now and how I'm actually doing good in life. Well my girl doesn't trust me one little bit, and I'd hafta say my trust for her is at a low too. I don't want to end this relationship, and neither does she, but we're not doing a good job of keeping it alive. Anyone have any idea's as to how to rebuild trust? I don't plan on making anymore mistakes, and I don't think she does either, we're actually moving into our own house in a week, and we're very excited, I think things are going to get a lot better from this point on, but we gotta fix our trust issues... Any ideas?

One of the things I am very sure of is that things being hard doesn't mean you have to give up on them, and that they are usually the most rewarding things too. However, you too both seem to have some issues and maybe it would be best for both of you to be apart for some time and get your act together.
It seems like you each have personal issues which you need to deal with first. This might seem harsh, but it sounds like you don't think about what you're doing to yourself and the people in your life. Get your priorities straight and forget about making your ex jealous, there's no need for that. Instead, focus on making sure you and the people you love are as carefree as possible. If you have problems paying your bills, don't just accept that but try to improve on your current situation by either applying for better jobs now, or getting some night school education. Your girlfriend should do the same.
Love and sex are important and very valuable things and as such, you should deal with these things with great care. If that means you have to stay sober and ask your friends for advice every five minutes, or make pro-con lists, or get counseling, or just avoid getting flirty with other women, so be it. If this girl really means lots to you, you should act like it. The same goes for her, remember there's two of you and that you are in it together. Getting back at eachother by cheating, but also letting your girlfriend get aggressive, or making your ex-girlfriend jealous are full of selfishness.
Also, if your girlfriend gets violent and physical, that's a real problem and the fact that she went to jail for it should have rung a few thousand church bells. She may indeed have a mental condition which can be improved through medication or therapy, just accepting it isn't going to improve things and it's obviously deteriorating the quality of your relationship.
This might be a bit straightforward, but if you want this to work, you're going to have to take a look at yourself and change your life and your lifestyle for the better.
The both of you: be trustworthy and dependable, then you'll have less to worry about and more to enjoy.
I wish you loads of luck in life and love!
A friend

I've recently gotten a stable and good job at a tech support center, and we're moving into our first real home togather, we've lived with freinds or in trailors for the past 3 years, so it's a step up. And she was on medicine to treat her hormones as they are out of wack from the diabetis, and it was working but her insurance ran out so we're trying to get that fixed. I just gotta figure out how to make things better trust wise, because as far as our enviroment and money, I'm working very hard on that. and also, are small lies horrible? Like I didn't cheat on my girl, but not telling her little details about my talk with my ex, just because even though I didn't do anything wrong, I know how she would react, so to stop her from reacting like that I just keep my mouth shut. If I ever do anything that actually is bad I immediately tell her sooo I dunno, lifes confusing lol. I love her, I want to be with her, and I'm going to be with her, I just hope we can learn to trust eachother...

It's nice to hear you're improving your situation! Having a stable foundation for your life together, truly caring for one another and being trustworthy is all you need.
Like I said, consider your actions more carefully and be worthy of the trust you want to receive. If you wouldn't do anything that would make your girlfriend mad at you, you wouldn't have to worry about lying to her. Of course, you should consider your own personal freedom but once again, consider your actions and the importance and value of love and sex. If you are talking to your ex-girlfriend just to make her jealous, in other words, to make her regret ending your relationship with her, you either feel something for her, but don't want to admit it (maybe even to yourself) or you're just wasting your time. There are more important things in life...
If the medicine was helping, make it a goal in the near future to get it for your girlfriend. Eat one steak less and save that money to pay the insurance later, etc... Long term thinking helps, it shows you don't doubt your future being spent together with your girlfriend, etc...
I hope this is helping...

it is, thank you... and as for my ex... I'd say it's partially making her jealous, partially feelings for her, but in 3 years, I've changed a lot, and she hasn't changed one bit. Turns out she was just trying to get me into it with her current B/F, the same guy she left me for, and destroyed mine and his freindship, though I'm glad we're not freinds because he can't be trusted lol. But I regret having feelings for her, it's just, she called up saying he was hitting her and stuff and it brought me to concern which started to bring up old feelings of love, then I realized that it would ruin my relationship and that we broke up for a very very good reason and it should stay that way. I actually just called my ex, left her a message saying that pursuing freindship is a bad idea and it's not considerate to my girl or her man, and then I deleted her number from my phone, if she calls me I'll have the number blocked or change my phone number. The worst thing is feeling bad about a situation and then having my girl make me feel even worse even though I really do regret it. I didn't cheat on my girl physically but it's like I kinda cheated mentally or something... I dunno, and how'd you know steak is my favorite lmao.. I couldn't help having feelings for my ex, but I soon realized they were false feelings. I would say that it is normal to have some feelings for my ex being that I was so in love with her and she hurt me so bad, but I feel horrible inside for having feelings for anyone but my girl anyways, I appreciate bein able to talk about it as talking with my girl at the moment is a really bad idea, and anyways I'm stuck at work... I work at a call center, and I do tech support... so I sit at a computer all day long listening to people complain lol, when you're already in a bad mood the customers can really get you feelin down. My girl doesn't understand that lol.. Also, I'm a scorpio, kind of flirtatious by nature, and my girl, when she gets mad, she attacks my confidence, probably due to her mother doing the same to her as a child... anyways, I flirt a lot, not because I want a new girl, but because I want to know that I still got game, and that women find me attractive, a confidence booster... Is that wrong??

Good call in regards to cutting off contact with your ex-girlfriend, this is exactly how you need to go about things, you considered the impact of your actions. Thinking about what you're doing is always a good idea :D It is indeed normal for you to have feelings for her because she was a part of your life, but after all, you should take note of the past tense there. Also, don't dwell on your minor feelings for your ex-girlfriend, it'll just make you feel worse... She'll always have some place in your heart, but you shouldn't lose focus, just remember that your girlfriend is far more important right now and that should carry way more weight in your decisions. I applaud your initiative, kudos to you!
Maybe you are just taking it to her in the wrong manner, like you are confessing instead of asking for her advice and support... Communication is vital though, so you should be able to share your thoughts with your girlfriend. Why would talking to her be a bad idea? If she attacks your confidence, that means she's really mad and just trying to hurt you, maybe you should find a way to have moreso constructive fights? My girlfriend tended to ignore me when she got mad, but I just confronted her about it and said that wouldn't lead to anything positive and just made me feel bad, and it helped. Confront her about it and maybe you can have her focus and tell you what's bugging her and why, and perhaps how it can be fixed instead of raging... If she realizes it's what her mother did to her, maybe she'll wake up and realize it's not what she wants to do to you and not who she wants to be. Remind her that you love her and tell her how it makes you feel.
Flirting a lot is not really a good idea... Once again, consider the value of love (and feelings). Not only are you putting yourself in an awkward position and putting a (random?) person on the same pedestal as your girlfriend, you're also leading someone on who might genuinely have feelings for you. Sounds like a lose-lose-lose situation to me?? If you want to boost your confidence, try challenging yourself, physically and/or mentally. Get some education or work out, those are excellent ways to boost your confidence!
Getting rid of your current issues will probably make your girlfriend appreciate you and your relationship more, hopefully she will also show it and that should boost your confidence too. Vicious cycles are meant to be broken, not perpetuated!
PS I'm psychic, you also like mayonnaise more than ketchup and you have whole milk in your fridge.
PS2 If you are knowledgeable enough, and have a positive attitude, perhaps you could try looking at those customers as people who you can help instead of people who are just bugging you. I know people who don't know much about computers and technology can be really dumbstruck by simple things, but helping them out can be quite rewarding.
PS3 People can be blunt farts and dumbasses, I know.
PS4 Doesn't exist yet but it would probably have a million processor cores. Ehm, what I meant was that you should consider this: If you are able to get a great girl whom you love, why wouldn't you be able to get other great girls too? That doesn't mean you should go out and cheat on your girlfriend though :P

lol, I Love my job, I get to feel good about myself when I help some lady who bought her son a tv or ipod and it's broken and I make it work, I get a kick out of fixing people's problems, but sometimes when I'm already in a bad mood and someone calls up freaking out cussing telling me Im no good just because they couldn't watch opera on their iPod, I just want to be like... you know some people have real problems lmao.. And I hate mayo lol. I like ketchup. you got a myspace? you seem like a pretty intelligent person, I don't really like talkin 2 dumb people lol, so if ya want you can add me on myspace or on here, this is my first day on this site.

I knew you don't like mayonnaise, I was just messing with you so you would laugh... Whooohooo, magical powers!
It's great that you have a job you like, but yeah, people can be huge farts and people at helpdesks generally have to deal with them AND help them at the same time... I understand... I'm afraid that's something that'll always be there, no matter what company you do it for, etc... Just try to cope?
I don't have a myspace, and I'm not that intelligent, I can't even find a way to hold on to the person I love... Well, it's more complicated than that... But yeah... Anyways, those posts were from my first day as well... I have Facebook, if you do too, and you are so inclined, you could funmail me your name or vice versa?