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How to deal with rape

Asked by lanegrachula87 about 1 year ago, 11 answers.

I was raped when I was 15. I kind of brought the situation on myself but I said NO and they contined anyway. Itw as a really violent experience but I never reported it because I was so ashamed and felt it was my fault. Anyway, I am now 19 going on 20...

and I have a bofriend who I love more than anything in the world. One problem everytime we have sex or while we have sex I tend 2 have flashbacks and I tense up and I ccan't enjoy sex the way I should. I hate it. My boyfriend knows a little about the rape but he has no idea it affected me that way it has to the point where we have sex it frightens me. I don't want to tell him all this because I love him and I want him to be satisfied and I fear if I tell him he will wind up only doing things my way, and won't be satisfied himself; I just want him to be happy. Can you give meany tips on dealing with this or getting myself to relax while this is happening?

Question closed
Face! Answered by underwaterophelia on May 01, 2008, 07:39AM
1843 answers
Advisor-small

I think talking to him about it would really help, so long as you trust him so much as you seem to.

Also, I would definitely recommend a counselor or therapist.

2 people thought this was helpful
this is me now what i look like Answered by pookabear on Apr 30, 2008, 08:44PM
181 answers

I was raped 3times I know how you feel its horriabel I cry myself 2 sleep and I tensed when me and my ex boyfriend and me had sex but it shall pass ok good luck with that

this is me now what i look like Answered by pookabear on Apr 30, 2008, 08:49PM
181 answers

I meant when me and my ex had sex I teansed not when me and my ex boyfriend and me lol srry

love Answered by shawnlver on Apr 30, 2008, 08:53PM
88 answers

I was raped once by my stepbrother. (His dad and my mom divorced soon after). It was when I was 6 and I had no idea he was doing anything wrong,but besides that, I kind of have the same problem. I couldn't enjoy sex with my boyfriend because I would have falshbacks, but I was scared tot lk to him and he realized I was tense and scared so he stoppe din the middle of sex and asked me what was wrong adn I spilled it all out on him, he didn't judge me he didnt get freaked and run out the door he cared enough to stay, so sit your boyfriend down and tell him what happened and how it effects you if he doesnt care and gets nervous or somehing then hes not right but if he stays and cares hes a keeper. ( now I don't have scary falshbacks durring sex) Please take my advice and don't be scared If he doesnt care hes not right for you just please tell him happy

me and my boyfreind :] Answered by jazlovestoskate on Apr 30, 2008, 11:29PM
10500 answers
Advisor-small

rape is a horrible things
many women dont report it when they are because they do feel ashamed and just think they brough it onb themselves, and they can deal with the pain.
but no, rape is never your or intirely your fault.
and if you or anyone else her is raped, you do need to report it
not only will it help you feel a bit releaved but also stop them from raping again
if you know the person who did it, although its late now, tell the police.
that person could be doing it again now, so do tell them.
id say you need to get this off your chest. so talk to a counsellor, freind, relative, even your boyfreind about it. maybe even give kids help line a call.
you cant relaxe and enjoy yourself with this bad expirience and pain inside you.
but once you start to feel that it wasnt your fault, and your not to blame then you will be able to relax more and enjoy sex with your partner.
remember this is not your fault, and if your worried it might happen again, perhaps take up a martial arts course, that way if someone does attack you, youll know exactly were to hit them that will make them stop.
I hope all this helped, even just a bit

Shark Atack Answered by funadvice on May 01, 2008, 04:52AM
53985 answers

I've been raped before and its horrible honestly. but my ex boyfriend and I had sex. we tried and I just couldn't cus it just reminded be too but because wed been together fora long time and I trusted him I told hima dn he was really helpful we talked and everything and the next time he took it really really slow and it still felt weird and I had to stop but because I felt comfortable with him and that he knew and respected that so at any time if I sadi no he was really good aboout it

maybe you shud just try talking to him

Answered by lanegrachula87 on May 01, 2008, 09:52AM
14 answers

Thank all of you guys for your adivce and support. I really appreciat and will take all of your opinions into account.

kesh Answered by softballchick on May 01, 2008, 04:46PM
358 answers

I was molested and my boyfriend helped me overcome that pain.
you just need a close person to talk to about it and let your feelings out.

nice huh ? Answered by gwenferns on May 02, 2008, 02:04AM
24 answers

talk to your boyfriend abt it , if he truly loves you he would understand . Its not your fault so stop thinking that way ...its not easy to forget but try ...ok

Answered by zoeh on May 05, 2008, 09:23AM
30 answers

I was raped, I'm 15 and it was quite recent I have no clue what to do, anyone who might help message me if you can xx

Answered by ali922 on Aug 30, 2008, 09:52PM

I was just raped last week and it was the most horrific accident I've ever had to deal with because I'm only 15 and it was by someone older than me who I thought was my friend. I'm trying to be as strong as I can, but it's tuff. Everyone should learn from the experiences, because if you let it happen again, you know that even though it's not your fault, that something is wrong. No matter who you are, be strong and brave and defend yourself against people you force themselves upon you, that's I've learned from this experience. while HE gets away with a warning, I've had to deal with being in the hospital, hours of pain and being sick, emotional CRAZYNESS, and things I can't even describe. My Feelings are normal, because I know all feelings are normal after rape. Don't let what happen to me, happen to you.

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me...deal with itrate me, date me, but plz dont rape me. unless ur hawt :)Hi Folks, I'm Logan T. and I WILL rape you.

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