How to deal with rape

I was raped when I was 15. I kind of brought the situation on myself but I said NO and they contined anyway. Itw as a really violent experience but I never reported it because I was so ashamed and felt it was my fault. Anyway, I am now 19 going on 20 and I have a bofriend who I love more than anything in the world. One problem everytime we have sex or while we have sex I tend 2 have flashbacks and I tense up and I ccan't enjoy sex the way I should. I hate it. My boyfriend knows a little about the rape but he has no idea it affected me that way it has to the point where we have sex it frightens me. I don't want to tell him all this because I love him and I want him to be satisfied and I fear if I tell him he will wind up only doing things my way, and won't be satisfied himself; I just want him to be happy. Can you give meany tips on dealing with this or getting myself to relax while this is happening?

I think talking to him about it would really help, so long as you trust him so much as you seem to.

Also, I would definitely recommend a counselor or therapist.

I was raped 3times I know how you feel its horriabel I cry myself 2 sleep and I tensed when me and my ex boyfriend and me had sex but it shall pass ok good luck with that

I meant when me and my ex had sex I teansed not when me and my ex boyfriend and me lol srry

I was raped once by my stepbrother. (His dad and my mom divorced soon after). It was when I was 6 and I had no idea he was doing anything wrong,but besides that, I kind of have the same problem. I couldn't enjoy sex with my boyfriend because I would have falshbacks, but I was scared tot lk to him and he realized I was tense and scared so he stoppe din the middle of sex and asked me what was wrong adn I spilled it all out on him, he didn't judge me he didnt get freaked and run out the door he cared enough to stay, so sit your boyfriend down and tell him what happened and how it effects you if he doesnt care and gets nervous or somehing then hes not right but if he stays and cares hes a keeper. ( now I don't have scary falshbacks durring sex) Please take my advice and don't be scared If he doesnt care hes not right for you just please tell him

rape is a horrible things
many women dont report it when they are because they do feel ashamed and just think they brough it onb themselves, and they can deal with the pain.
but no, rape is never your or intirely your fault.
and if you or anyone else her is raped, you do need to report it
not only will it help you feel a bit releaved but also stop them from raping again
if you know the person who did it, although its late now, tell the police.
that person could be doing it again now, so do tell them.
id say you need to get this off your chest. so talk to a counsellor, freind, relative, even your boyfreind about it. maybe even give kids help line a call.
you cant relaxe and enjoy yourself with this bad expirience and pain inside you.
but once you start to feel that it wasnt your fault, and your not to blame then you will be able to relax more and enjoy sex with your partner.
remember this is not your fault, and if your worried it might happen again, perhaps take up a martial arts course, that way if someone does attack you, youll know exactly were to hit them that will make them stop.
I hope all this helped, even just a bit

I've been raped before and its horrible honestly. but my ex boyfriend and I had sex. we tried and I just couldn't cus it just reminded be too but because wed been together fora long time and I trusted him I told hima dn he was really helpful we talked and everything and the next time he took it really really slow and it still felt weird and I had to stop but because I felt comfortable with him and that he knew and respected that so at any time if I sadi no he was really good aboout it

maybe you shud just try talking to him

Thank all of you guys for your adivce and support. I really appreciat and will take all of your opinions into account.

I was molested and my boyfriend helped me overcome that pain.
you just need a close person to talk to about it and let your feelings out.

talk to your boyfriend abt it , if he truly loves you he would understand . Its not your fault so stop thinking that way ...its not easy to forget but try ...ok

I was raped, I'm 15 and it was quite recent I have no clue what to do, anyone who might help message me if you can xx