How to deal with my boyfriend's friendship with his ex-wife?

I've been with my boyfriend a little over a year. We love eachother and have stuck it out through a lot of hard situations. When we first met, he was considering getting a divorce. He had been married for eight years and has two kids from the marriage....

He got married very young and just wasn't in love with his wife anymore. We didn't start dating until the divorce was going through and I waited a while to meet the kids, since they were already going through so many changes. I now have a close relationship with the kids and am very happy with my boyfriend. The thing that is threatening to break us up is my insecurity over his relationship with his ex-wife. I know that the feelings aren't there between them anymore, but I'm threatened by how much they talk. I understand that its about the kids, but I can't stop the twisting feeling in my stomach every time she calls. There are no boundaries or times set aside just for us. If he doesn't answer, she just calls until he answers, even if its 11 or 12 at night. It's not always about the kids because they ended things as friends and continue their friendship. She is dating a new guy who is also threatened by the relationship she has with my boyfriend. I know they won't stop talking and that they will always be friends. I just feel like I'm coming in to a situation thats way over my head and I want to let these feelings go so I can make it work with my boyfriend. How can I get over my jealousy and animosity I feel towards her? How can I accept the bond that he and his ex have as a healthy thing since it is good for the kids? I've thought about going out to lunch with her to see if getting to know her will make this better, but I just don't know if I'm brave enough. I need help?

Well you should all get together and have dinner you all know they have a past there are kids involved and if your all friends then it would be better dont feel threatned by her if your boyfriend truly loves you then his eyes are only for you. Tell your boyfriend that you think it would be good for you all to get to know each other and it also shows trust on your part.
My ex and I did that and his new wife and I get along well we have even gone shopping together and had lunch dates without the guys and she supported me through my new husbands death...make it a good thing.

I know you must be feeling very insecure but just rember you won the prize you have him now they are divorsed if you really want you should try becoming good friends with her dont just go have lunch just the 2 of you try asking if she would like to go to lunch with you and some of your besties and let her bring some of hers to then you can all get to know each other then you might feel better and it would be better for your realation ship witth your boyfriend