How to cope with my boyfriend going into the marines?

okay so 2day I found out my bfs going into the marines but he fun part is I found out from one of our friends thats also going into the marines..im completley upset and destraught but more angry at the fact he couldnt tell me...he told me because it was...

hard for him but he was going to tell me sooner or later...he said he just wants me and his mother to be proud of him..but I am proud of him I cant talk him out of it because I don want to...ill stand by him because it makes him happy...but I want my life to start not to be on hold...when he leaves im suppose to wait on him but I want to be with him now...I know im being selfish but its so hard I've cryed allday and he wants to talk tonite but I dont want him to see me upset because I want to be there for him...I love him so much...



how can I be stronger for him how can I put up a front and support him
ikno ill miss him but this is the best thing for him career wise but I just dont know how to cope with it

pls help

Well first of all, you are being selfish. The marines is a GREAT way for him to get your lives started. Did you know if you get married they provide housing for you? My husband and I were married and 3 months later he went to the Marines. We were newlyweds! I tell you what, it is the hardest thing ever (He still is gone- he comes back feb 22nd) but its a true test of faith. I deal with it by writing him a letter every night before I go to bed, and at the end of the week I send off all the letters. Support him with everything you can, because in the end he'll be the one supporting you. Don't ever see it as him walking out on you- who knows? Maybe he is trying to make things better so he can have a better life and then include you in it. I mean- how many guys want a girl to marry them when they can't support themselves? You should be proud of him because he is doing a very brave and difficult thing

thank you...he told me that all he wants is me and he does want to take care of me...he said when he got back he just wants to be with me...and I can see where your coming from...thank you thank you thank you..ikno im being selfish and I dont want to b...I just want him to be happy...and I suppose it will also help me concentrate in skewl when I go to college this fall...but im seeing him to nite how can make him believe I really want him to do whats best for him and not make him feel like crap because im sad..

again thank you!

Well it is okay to be sad. He would probably be kinda dissapointed if you were happy he was leaving for 3 months. Do let him know that you support his decision and that you will be there to write him. You know, while the guys are at bootcamp their drill instructors yell at them and tell him to forget about their girlfriends because they've already forgotten about you. They break them down physically AND mentally, and nothing would make him happier than for you to continually be there for him throughout the whole thing. If you don't think you can make the commitment, you should seriously consider breaking up now instead of doing it while he is gone and having him come back to that. But think of this! Once he graduates, he'll have lots of money- and if you end up getting married you'll have such an exciting life. Every two years you'll move to a new place, and meet new people who are like family because they are all in the same situation as you. You'll send christmas cards to places like Korea and Japan and have friends all over the world! The military lifestyle is great- my Aunt is married to an officer and he makes over $100k a year- Plus the jobs aren't as dangerous as you think. Thanks to the media! So look on the bright side. But let him know that you'll miss him- you can have some sweet farewell sex :P lol

lol...but I cant leave im all my mothers got I couldnt leave her to an empty house and noone to talk to...its all just confusing...I love him to death and I wil support him..someone told me like they could be gone for 4 years... I dont want to lose him ya know...

thank you for your help big time!!! =]

well I guess 2nite will be interesting when he comes ovr to talk to me about it.
hope I can do it without breakin down

haha im a big softy!

honestly tonights a big night then, do what you will but I would try to talk him out of it. He won't think any less of you for trying to do so. My bro aint normal, if he commits to something he will kick its as*, most deticated person I've ever seen. and last time I talk to him he said some disterbing sh*t I'll never forget. He's not the type that would come right out and say he shouldn't have joined. But I could hear it in his voice, in the way he was talking. That f*cked with me for a while, that was over a month ago. But noe I really wish I would have made a better effort to talk him out of it. Because if anyone could have, it was me. And now the same chance that I didn't take, you have

Try to support him through this. I can't tell you this, but I'm in the same situation. I want to join the Marines, but I'm just so f***ing confused how to tell my girlfriend. Look at this way: 1)- He will be happier knowing he's fighting for someone he loves. 2)-If you can't commit, then don't even bother crying. It's best for him to know now, than later. 3)[Worst case]-He tells you it's done. I know some friends who just end it after they enlist. It's sad, I know, but it's hard.

Hope that helps. I even need the advice. I'm a young lost cause with a girl that deserves WAY better.

my boyfriend is leaving to go on the marines. at first I was so upset. I have lived near him 4 years and hes never dun f**k all with his life and then I cum along and he wants to make sumthink of himself. but reading these, I understand now. he wants to do it so he can provide a future 4 me. we are getting engaged before he goes in which is a great way to show commitment. you just have to be strong. if he loves you he wont forget you, and if your not redy to cope then maybe its not a gud idea to let him go and then finish when hes not there. but he is going to come home wenever he can. it is a complete test of faith and trust and if I works out, you can get threw anything. I did want to talk him out of it, but reading these comments, I know he is doin it for the best and relise how selfish I was being, thanx a lot guys, you may have just saved my relationship! x

my boyfriend is going into the marines to. he is at boot camp right now, it sucks so bad. we have been together for 1 year and I was with him everyday. now I am not with him at all. just try and keep busy. hang out with your friends a lot, try to do a project for your house or something. thats what I am going to do. I love him to. I know how you feel, I cried everyday after he left for about five days. I felt depressed. just know that every day only gets better. one day at a time. writing him makes you feel better also. but just know that he wont write back a lot because they will be really busy. dont feel bad, he is thinking about you just as much as you are thinking about him.

I will have been with this boy for eight months when he leaves for Marine bootcamp. I spent my senior year of high school practically with him every day, and this is my last summer before college. He leaves in about two weeks. He will be gone for my eighteenth birthday, and Im trying to be strong. We are not getting engaged before he leaves. He says that he has a time that he wants to ask me picked out in the future, but I think we are both waiting to see how our relationship stands up against the thirteen weeks of hell and the year of unknown contact. Reading all of this is encouraging... and I think if I dont dwell on it.. and I stay true to my decision - the one that I made to stay with him there won't be a problem. If anybody has any advice on regular paper or stationary? Any good sites with advice and encouragement? Anything helps - Im just preparing mentally. I have faith that everything will be fine.

omg...things are fuken bad for you guys...
I thought I was the only one!

I just met this guy recently like a month ago and I have completly fallen head over heels for him. but just discovered hes joining the marines too!!!

f**k my life!

well...him and I have been going out to eat...beach, all the things people that are dating usually do. and I told him I liked him. but he baisically said he was leaving in like 4 months...and that he wasn't sure what was gonna be of us.

I was very confused. but I thought, what the heck. four months, anything can happen. so weve been in a sorta weird hookup relationship...but I am getting soo attatched and I don't know if he is as well...

but for sure I know he maybe likes me...

ugh. blah..

so baisically...I don't know whats going to happen when he leaves. especially sinse we hang out all the time but I don't know if he even wants anything with me.

My Fiance left for marine bootcamp on monday. I'm going crazy because we have been together for over 4 1/2 years. I miss him so much its hard to focus. I work from home and I don't really have any friends so it's hard for me to stay busy. But, if this is really want your boyfriend wants to do try to support him. It's hard and sad but I plan to hang in there and stick by my Man. I just wish I had somethings to do.

My boyfriend left for boot this morning at 3am, and last night was one of the toughest night's I've had this year. When we first got together, we weren't sure whether or not we'd even last to this day, but we've spent the past month and a half together, every single day, and every single night just spending as much time possible together. Last night, on the way back to his house, he broke down in my car and when we said goodbye, I did the same. It's extremely tough to know that for the next 12 weeks, we won't be able to see each other, and very rarely speak on the phone. The best part about boot camp though, is it tests your true feelings for each other, your love and strength. I plan on writing to him every day, as soon as I get that first letter this weekend. Sending him daily letters about your day, what's going on, etc and how you are will help your recruit stay strong because he will know you're pulling through the stress and frustration. Keep yourself busy while he's gone. If you find yourself missing him, write him a note and when you send your letters, include them. Guaranteed they'll be what he looks forward to every single mail day. Not to mention letter writing is so much more personal and means so much more. Years to come, you'll re read the letters and know it's worth it.

My boyfriend left for bootcamp almost 4 weeks ago now. It's hard, it's probably one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. Watching him walk out that door and drive away with the recruiter was horrible and me and his mom sat together and cried for hours, but it does get better. The first week is killer, because you need to get used to not having him there all the time and not being able to see him or talk to him whenever. But write to him everyday, even if you can't send them yet. Talk to his family, it really does make it easier and helps you feel closer to him. And when you get that first letter it's amazing. I really do believe that it is making me a stronger person. It forces you to be more independent and be there for him. You need to be able to trust in your relationship, because he won't be there to reassure you of how he feels or how much he loves you, but you learn to be okay with that, you learn to reassure yourself. My best advice is keep busy, find distractions, working is really good, also write him everyday, or scrapbook. The main thing you need to remember is that he needs you more than anything, so you need to be strong for him and help him as much as you can, because the letters are what will keep him going.

Well my boyfriend only has 36 days till he graduates and becomes a Marine.Just write letters evryday,when youre missing him,and send pictures.THEY NEED PICTURES.TRUST ME,MY BOYFRIEND ASKS FOR THEM IN EVERY LETTER.And distance makes loves stronger and shows if the love you guys share is real, I mean TRULY real.Bootcamp shows your boyfriend if he really truly loves you.My boyfriend now says that God has made him realize how much he loves me,and that God along with bootcamp has changed him completely.We are going to be a year when he graduates,and TRUST ME,its hard not seeing him everyday,listening to love songs that remind you of him, thers always that occasional What if he gose to war? thing.But prayer truly helps.Ask God to help your boyfriend get through it and then to help you get through it and make time go by fast.Get involved in something while hes gone.I cant wait to see him and I cant wait to see that changed man hes become.

my boyfriend has been in bootcamp for over a month now. he graduates November 13th and becomes a Marine. I miss him everyday and its tough. Its a challenge to test to see if your faithful enough. it also proves how strong your love really is for one another! I agree with the rest of the people. PICTURES do help, and writing letters everyday! my boyfriend askes for it constantly. and for some reason for one week the mail was sooo slow so he thought I forgot about him! but then he finally recieved a letter from me. that really made his day. so I reccommend sending letters that tell him how proud you are. Be OPSTIMISTIC!! dont be depressing at all, its just gonna make your Marine upset that your not handling the situation well. its been rough for me these past weeks, but im determined to wait because I truly love him. hes my everything. he wrote in one of his letters that being sent down to MCRD, he realizes how much he truly loves me. believe me, youll find that out for urself. if you love one another, youll wait. because distance makes the love stronger. and when you see your marine again, its as if your love is brand new again, and you have fallen all over again for your man. Im so excited to fly down to see him graduate! just reading his letters show me the change he has already gone through. im anxious to see him to see that changed man hes become too.

My boyfriend of almost two years left yesterday. much like the rest of you, he was my everything, everyday; I dont hang out with anyone besides him, I only talk to him so its going to be difficult to cope with the fact that hes not there. It feels like hes been gone for weeks. But its true, keeping yourself busy will help, and the letters!!! it feels like youre letting your emotions out and like hes there (kinda). Im a senior right now in high school, and though I'm young, the emotions are still the same no matter what age, so its still going to hurt. I didnt know you can send pictures though? Thats great because I know that when I go to bootcamp, im going to want pictures ha =]
I feel better now that I've read this. makes me feel a little stronger...

ok my boyfriend is going in the marines in 3 weeks I dunnooo wot to doo I keep cyin ova know in his not going to b here wit me . I really don't want him to goo but I alsoo don't wanna stopp him havin his careea . I reali don't think I will b able to make it though this so im thinkin do I jud end it now so I don't ave to go though all tha heart breaK BUT I SIT BK and THINK THAS THE GUY you WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YR LIFE WIT STOP BEIN SILLY you NEED TO B STRONG but I reali dunnno wot I can duuu . im gonnna pine for himmm this is on ma mind 24/7 , and I cnt speak to him bout it because I break down wot du I du???