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How do you get your boyfriend to stop smoking?... Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a month. And I really like him...only thing is he lies and drinks and smokes and I don't know. people say I dont deserve the things he does to me...as in, Lying to me all the time and ditching me to hang with his friends and smoke and he drinks with other girls and only God knows what he does with them...Like he smokes weed too not just cigs and its soo soo sooo bad for him...What should I do to get him to stop?
I'm going to try and explain some very basic psychology. Behavior is a result of conditioning... As long as you continue to reward bad behavior (you staying with him is a reward in itself) that bad behavior will never end... think of the mother who goes shopping with her kid and everytime the kid cries, she buys the kid something... now what's the kid going to do everytime they go out? the kids going to cry... the only way to stop the kid is for the mother to change what she's doing... she needs to stop rewarding the kid for bad behavior... do you see what I'm saying? there's no way for the mother to change the child... all the mother can do is change what she does and how she acts, and that will change how the kid acts... hopefully... think about it... do you deserve to be treated badly? even if he is sweet some of the time, arent you worth more? dont you deserve respect and good treatment all the time? you just have to demand that...
well im sorry to tell you this but if he really cares about you and you guys are meant to be with eachother thn he will stop everything hes doing that hurts him and you. Have you tried talking to him or what have you attempted to do to persuade him to stop? You cant MAKE him stop thts his choice weither or not he wants 2 be like that. All you can do is tell him how you feel, and guide him in the right direction instead of just watching and feeling helpless. and if he blows you off still and doesnt care about what you have to say then you have to end it... =[ Good Luck Girl I Hope I Helped =\
Thanks for your replys...but the only thing is apparently, as my friends say, he treats me really badly. I mean...and like. I dont know, I think he does. Well..I knoww he treats me bad. And he always says he'll quit but never gets to it...Like. My friends want me to dumpp him. I admit he's a total douche but hes so sweet when he wants to.
But I have other choices if I dump him...ha, his friends called rebound on me lol
Something you should learn that will save you a lot of heartache for the rest of your life... You cannot change another person. You can only change yourself... So either you say you will not accept those things (and then dump him if he refuses to comply), or you deal with it... But you cannot change someone else's behavior...
