How do i stop being so jealous?

Ok, so I have a boyfriend, and hes is so nice. we have bee together for over a year and he never makes an argument with me and I have no reason to doubt anything, he's perfect... But the thing is I do doubt everything, im paranoid that he looks at girls...

in th street and accuse him of flirting with the girls at work, I just get so jeaous that I am ruining our relationship, and im the one who causes any argument.

Yeah, you will think im crazy now, but there is a reason behind all of this...

I had a previous boyfriend who I met when I was15, we were together for 3 years. he was a total user, but I was so young I just put up with it. he cheated on me over 10 times and even slept with prostitutes, he gave girls at work his number, we even lived together and he chatted to girls on the intenet and sent them dirty pictures. He shattered every part of me, I was a nervous wreck.

I met my current boyfriend at work just before me and my ex broke up, and as soon as we did (in the end he dumped me for another girl) I asked my boyfriend out, I couldnt stand being on my own.

Things between us were fine at first, but now we are more serious about each other I just find I am blaming him for my ex and what he out me through. I just cant help but feel insecure and I hate it, bcos I really love him and im afraid I am pushing him away, and I think he will leave me for some other girl.

Please help, I just need to know what to do and also how to apologise for the way I am acting, because I really am a nice person.

What you need to realise is that you didnt recover from your previous relatoinship, you jumped into another realtionship to quickly therefore you think that all boys are the same,, .. All girls feel jelous .. were all insucure .. the point blank fact is that HE IS WITH YOU ... you need to keep reminding youself that and you should feel better.,, forget about the other reltionship.. and try and make this one work.. dont acuse him of anything cus that will just push him away ... hope this helped x

Have you explained to your boyfriend about your previous relationship? You have a lot of trust issues which is totally understandable, but you need to realize that not every guy is like your ex. You need to work on your trust issues before you will fully trust him. I'm sure that to a certain point your boyfriend understands what you are feeling and he probably understands why you don't trust him but that doesn't make it easy on him. Try to keep your thoughts about him to yourself...don't accuse him of anything. All it will do is cause a fight that you don't want to have.

Good luck

thankyou. yes, he knows about me ex and I've explained the reason why I get upset over stupid things, but I know it can't be easy for him. im am trying my hardest to change and get over the ex. I dont speak to my ex or anything, so he is history, but the things he did to me broke my heart and I dont have feelings for him now, it's just I think all guys are the same, like you said.

how can I actually work on my trust issues? do I need a break from him?

I hate to say it but it does sound like you need to be by yourself for awhile so you can work on your problems.

before you say something count to 5... I know that sounds stupid, but just give yourself 5 seconds to think about it... has your boyfriend ever done anything to hurt you? then why are you thinking that way, and should you really accuse him?
I know it's easy to impulsively do something, but you really need to learn to differentiate between your ex and your current boyfriend. Try talking yourself through it everytime you feel yourself about to act irrational or paranoid... It will take practice, but over time, it will become easier. Just keep reminding yourself not all guys are the same...

thankyou, I will try everything you said =)

you don't need anyone to make you happy.. my advice to you will be to go and make peace with yourself. accept yourself just as you are.. when you find that inner peace and happiness, you will be ready to accept and give love.. and you don't need to be best in anything to be acceptable, we all are average, there will always be people better or worst than we are.. I supose you got problems seeing the good in life.. go back to nature.. see how beautiful God created everything. As I read through your story I get the impression you feel rejected, not good enough to be in a happy relationship. you are good enough!!!