Home More advice Parents & Family
Well my mom doesnt want anything to do with me any more,im 35 now,and when she calls or writes me,its to only start a fight.I feel like im not wanted. She thinks everything is about her. So how can I just get her out of my life.
If you haven't tried in the past, which I'm sure you probably have, try talking to her and telling her how she makes you feel. If this falls on deaf ears or she gets defensive and tries to start a fight just tell her you are a grown woman and you don't have to take her crap anymore. Say 'You're my mom and I'll always respect that and love you for making me strong enough to be the person I am today but I'm not communicating with you until you understand how much you upset me and apologize to me for hurting me' or something along those lines and then let it go. Hang the phone up, close the letter. Then the ball is in her court. You've notified her that you no longer wish to speak if she wants to only put you down or pick a fight. You haven't turned your back on her, you've let her know what she has to do in order to contact you again and if she wants to, she can. Whether you hear from her again or not, you can feel good about leaving it the way you did and not feel bad because you've said things you didn't mean out of anger. Good luck. I hope everything turns out for the best.
Just say ... {{if your writing a letter}} Mom, I think its time we say goodbye, im a 35 year old ... or young which ever you perfer woman and I feel im not wanted in your life as family or a daughter so im here writing you saying goodbye I will always love you as a daughter and friend but if you want to pretend like everything is about you and not care about my feeling and also want to turn everything into a fight I seek that that is just in your character and nature and I dont want to be apart of that, so as I stated before goodbye, and take care.
o and PS, you know how to get in contact w/me if you ever want to actually talk .. not fight, not argue, not judge but TALk ... your daughter ...{{im guessing your name is}} Melissa.
But if your talking to her on the phone I guess you can say that too lol ...excpt in phone convo form...
I just talked to my mom after a month of no contact and ironicly its her bday lol she lives 3 states away sooo ...yeah...I hope I helped
dede2010
Well you have to understand that meaby she is the one that is feeling left out like shes not wanted anymore. Shes at an old age and you know it seems like that is not the happiest momments of a womans life... Just you know when she writes to you just read it and write back...
I love you too mom
You know, Meaby that will make her feel better just let the attitude slide by you, I mean meaby not talking to her NEVER again will hurt both of you even more...
Wooow. BIG thing.. I really don't agree that you should not talk to your mom .. it's your call.. but let me say something.. even if she's pain, and you can't take it anymore .. still your mom, no matter how old you get, still your mom. You can ignore al the fights, dont answer the things you dont want to answer., and try to check on her from time to time. it's only a matter of time. I am no professional in this topic .. but .. Still she's your mother .. gL
Everytime she trys to start a fight you have to either change the topic, hang up, or walk away. Just say, "we will never agree on this so let's talk about something else". If she insists on continuing say "it was great talking to you but I must go now" and either hang up or walk away. After awhile she should get the clue. That's what I did with my family who loves to argue. It took months but they figured it out.
