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basically, my girlfriend is a bit chubby, not fat. I think she is perfect, I love her so much, I love how she looks, etc.. I really do. I really care. But she is so insecure and it is getting in the way of our relationship. She can't help but feel uncomftorable around me because of a little extra weight. I tell her all the time how I see her, although she is a bit chubby, and I can't lie about that, I just tell her she is perfect and I don't want her to change. But she wants to change, and I am an expert on weight loss and calories and all that junk, I could really help her lose some extra weight if she wanted to, it's her body. But I don't know if I should just keep telling her she is fine the way she is, and telling her how much I love her, or do I help her lose a few extra pounds and support her on the idea?
At first, I thought your question was about you wanting your girlfriend to lose weight, so I was appalled, but now that I understand the real situation I commend you on loving your girlfriend the way she is and trying to make her know that. Truth is, if she's insecure, she's insecure, I doubt she will ever believe you no matter how many times you say it until she grows more comfortable within herself. You could say, "you know what, I love you the way you are and you know that, but I also want to make you happy- if you want for me to help you out in any way to be a little healthier I'd be happy to help but I really don't see the need to!" If you say it lightly, and make sure she knows you'd be helping her for HER and not because you feel she should lose weight, she should be able to give you an answer and not get upset. That is, if she wants you to help her. If she hasn't brought up the idea of you helping her out, just keep telling her you love her the way she is- no woman tires of hearing it if it's genuine.
If she brings it up again when it is just the two of you, then say that it isn't a big deal, but you just want her to be happy. Then maybe just bring up some helpful little hints. idk, I'd say that sounds good. I kinda feel like I am in a bit of a situation like her... only I got over any insecurities around him when I realized that he really loves me for me... something that I have always wanted.... and nothing mattered but me letting myself move on with those feelings and being happy. So maybe just letting her know that you lover her the way she is and that you want her to be happy.
by the way, what kinda tips do you have? haha ^_^
Well you can do what my boyfriend did for me...which is, he seen I was gaining weight and so did I ,it got to the point that I wouldnt get undressed in front of him,and he is a man and is very visual so I complained that I was fat and he very politely told me to do something about it. He recommended I go for a walk everyday for at least 30 minutes, he goes with me which makes it fun. Then he would recommend low calorie meals.I now go online and find them...its a touchy subject so go about it carefully but honesty.
Work out together! Just remember that she isn't as strong as you. Show her how to read nutritional facts on food. Show her how to avoid trans fats and cut calories.
Take her to get her blood pressure taken (they have a blood pressure machine in most Walmarts in the pharmacy area) It might still be in the "normal" range because she is young. But explain to her the dangers of heart disease if she doesn't start a habit of good diet and exercise now. Heart Disease is the number 1 killer of women.
BUY A WII AND PLAY WII SPORTS AND WII FIT WITH HER so that way she gets her exercise and you get yours, and you wont needa go to the gym or what not and it is quite fun.
