Help me get over my ex!!

It#039;s been almost 3 years now and I can#039;t seem to get over my ex-boyfriend. It#039;s kind of silly when I think about it, because it was only a six-month relationship. He came into my life after a rough period, like he was an angel, he made...

me a much better person. I was the happiest I have ever been, still to this day. He truly was a great guy, the exact kind of guy that I will one day want to marry. We broke up, for a reason that is still unknown. But, I#039;m left here without closure. For a year and a half, I did nothing but dwell on him and what things would#039;ve been. Until, I decided to start dating again. I#039;ve been dating this one guy for a year and two months now, and I still can#039;t get my ex off of my mind. I don#039;t know what the problem is. It was only six months. Just recently, I heard that he is dating someone new now, and that she could be quot;the onequot; for him. I was crushed and devastated. But, I remembered that I have my own boyfriend. I don#039;t know what to do. Either I need to get over him,quickly, or I need to get him back..some way, some how. It is very important. I need to move on at some point, but I can#039;t without my own closure. What should I do? Please help.

I've been there, more times than I'd like to count. The truth is you never do get over him. He will never leave your life or your heart as long as you hold onto it. That's neither good nor bad, it just is. It doesn't matter if it was six months, six years, six decades, love is a tricky, powerful emotion. The important thing to think about right now is your new relationship. Is this new boyfriend making you happy? Or is there something lacking in him that makes you think of a former love? Maybe you've spent too much time in relationships and not enough time on your own? Sit down, write out or think of all the good qualities your ex had- warning- you may end up crying. Then make another list, the qualities you didn't like, and believe me, there will be a few if you truely give it some thought, no one is perfect. Then make a deal with yourself; that you will not enter into a serous relationship with anyone who is lacking the qualities you desire most. Don't settle for second best and if your ex truely was the one life may bring him back in some way, or it may not and you will be grateful for the experience. But don't force that. Right now, focus more on you and what makes you happy, advance yourself, try new things, keep busy. Don't feel guilty when that pang hits you, feel it for 60 seconds and then move on. That way when Mr. Right does roll around, you'll have a lot to talk about. Chin up!

Yeah, I know exactly how that feels. I broke up with the first man that I ever loved and I still question to this day whether I made the right decision or not.. But then here#039;s what you need to realize.. you#039;re not getting over him because you can#039;t except that it#039;s over. You keep hoping that you#039;re going to get back together, or that he#039;ll profess his love to you again one day. I#039;ve been there. It makes it harder because I#039;m sure you constantly compare your new boyfriend to the old one and he never quite meets the mark. What you need to accept is that if he really was the one,, then it would have happened. If you broke up with him, then you had a reason. And even if your reason was stupid, he would have made you take him back. And if he broke up with you, then he wasn#039;t in the same place as you and it wasn#039;t right. Plus realistically, it#039;s impossible to love only one person that way. Love is in your mind, and you can fall in love with anybody if you#039;ve open for it. You need to cry your eyes out over this guy, realize that he wasn#039;t the one, and let yourself love somebody else. I hope this helps.

Well,you need to move on because believeit or not your hurting your new boyfriend without him knowing and if he found out you still loved your ex he would be crushed. You are probably just remembering all the good things about him, your mind is more powerful than you think. If you think something long enough, your mind will make you believe it, and in your case that is still loving your ex. If you really do still love your ex than you need to end your relationship w/ your boyfriend unless yo can truly and permanently fix the problem. Also...I know this would hurt you, but talk to your ex and find out if he is dating quot;the onequot;, and if he is face that he has moved on and that you should too.
Hope I helped!!

HI my name is kiriana my ex-boyfriend broke up wit me because he said I was not right for him and that I call to much then he said we spend to much time together. I really loved that boy and we ended up breaking up on our anversiery I really was sad that I am an model and they said that I will have to go to the hospital the doctores told me that I was going through a break down I was hurting so bad that I would not eat anything go to school I really love him I just hate to hear his name when some one say his name I just cry when I go out I cry I just be wanting to stay at home and every one say I am crazy cause I do not know what true love is I just need someone to help me on how can I get my boyfriend back and live a happy life I am only 14 years old he took my verginatie and we got a child together I really mis him.

you will never erase him compeltly but instead try turning things around. you should never spend more time dwelling of the guy then the amount of time the you spent with him. i undestand the pain the wondering the thoughts of what could have been. But instead of crying because its over, smile because it happened even if you werent the one ready to let go. And if you really love him then let him go and if you still talk or are friends then casually let him know you are happy for him. That is what true love is about. You need to move on with your life. if you must know (for closure) what went wrong between you two call him up and ask him. Only if you know yourself and you are ready to do that with out trying to interfere with his life. He has moved on and know it is time for you. I hope to have helped and stay strong. Time heals all wounds.

Im in the exact situation right now so I totally understand how you feel.. it just sucks to miss someone who don't belong to us anymore. In reality we all know that we should move on and leave him behind, but in the same we keep thinking about those beautiful things that EVER happened to us.. So please, just be cruel to yourself and accept the fact that he didn't love you anymore, or he never was.. I notice that this forum was built in 12/2004, so hopefully you already figure out what to do now. Good luck!

I've been struggling with the same thing in my life. I met someone almost 4 years ago now, dated a very short time as well, we went separate ways...but I always felt that time would bring us together again. But for me 4 years has passed, and just this past weekend my hopes of holding on anymore seem so unrealistic. I just turned 30, and sometimes my weaknesses if my level of patience. I would wait if I knew he'd be back...but there's this part of me that says if it were him, I probably would have seen signs of something by now. I too, like you, have no closure. My advice is just that I think deep inside your heart, you'll know when it's really time to let it go and move on. If you still feel a little something, it may be there for a reason. For me, I believe God used this guy in my life in so many ways to change things about me for the better. He inspired me in ways I've never been inspired before. For you, maybe there are reasons why your paths crossed...and there is that chance it may happen again for you. So hold on only as long as you can, before your heart tells you it really is time to let go. You're heart will know when. I can't explain it, but it will. And, I would say if the guy you are dating now hasn't become greater in your heart than your ex, it shows you this new guy isn't the one. There are some qualities that you must have adored in your ex. Keep remembering what those are, and look for them in any new relationships that form. I still haven't found someone that tops the love I had for this guy, but I believe there is someone out there I haven't yet met. I know the pain of holding on, it's so hard to let go. But I would pray and talk to God. I believe with all my heart, everything happens for a reason. Hang in there...and just believe if God ever removes something from your life, He'll replace it with something better. Maybe better hasn't come yet, or maybe better will be Mr. Ex coming back one day and things being so much more than they once were. Only time will tell... wishing you the best.

That cut me off sorry. Anyways we both have strong feelings and agreed that we should of fought harder back then. Now it is too late and very wrong to want to get back together because we will be hurting others like our kids and spouses. Yet I still cry for him like a stupid little teen age girl and he always says he loves me. Don't get me wrong we are both happy in our relationship but we made a mistake back then and now we have to live with it. Don't give up just like that if you love him try to get him back and tell him how you feel if he does not return the feeling than move on. But avoid the long pain of wondering the what if's. Love is not a choice.

Okay so it cut off the first part. What I said in the first part was that I was in the same boat I have spent 15 years wondering if I had done the right thing. I loved him so much that I decided I would not look for him after our break up. We too met at a difficult time, he was just over a divorce I was separated and had just lost a sister to leukemia. He had been married to his first wife because he got her pregnant and she used him I too became pregnant and I never told him because I did not want him to think I was trying to entrap him as well. So after we broke up I moved to another state and have helplessly tried to fall out of love with him and tried to fall in love with others only to find out that I have no choice when it comes to love. If you are in love you will soon find out that you do not choose who to give your love to and no matter how much some one loves you you can't love them back the same. We have met again over a year ago when I found out he had been sent away to Kuwait I called his mom and soon he contacted me. As destiny would have it he was stationed in Texas at the same time I had to fly over to Las Cruces due to my moms heart attack. We emailed each other and he got permission to be there for me and we talked about our past and I told him of his 15 year old son and he told me of his plans to marry me back then. Timing is so wrong for us and we can not fix the past so now we live with this mistake. He still says he loves me and I still love him too. When he returns he is going to tell his wife of his child with me and he always says I should of told him back then how I felt. Now I only pray that he makes it back safe and that god will help us all. To this day I could never say yes to marrying the guy I have been with since 1997 and I can't stay away from my ex but I have to.

I swear this scared the hell out of me when I read it. Just saying up-front I damn well know what you mean. I had an ex-boyfriend, we dated for 6 months. He came in my life when I really was going through issues. We broke up, and I never knew why. He would never tell me why. It's been two years since I really put effort to date longer than a damn day. He moved on four months after we stopped talking and he is in such a happy relationship it is been 1 year and a half for him and his girlfriend. I don't have closure with him at all. I want it so much, I want to know why, but I never will. It is causing me really bad issues with moving on, it even is leading me into serious depression. He caused a lot of problems for me when we broke up because I didn't have anyone there for me, and I didn't know how to deal with it. Right now, my friends can only say one line too me. You are only letting it get to you because you are letting it get to you. I know sounds confusing. They are just saying that I am letting it eat me up and I am taking it on. It's hard I know, but all I can say is you have to try. I am trying, I know it will take some time, but you can't say you didn't. I hope it goes well for you and I hope you take care. I wish I could help you more.

Me and my boyfriend of a year and a half just recently broke up. When I think back i can see that he was not the right person for me and that us breaking up was probably the best thing. My ex cheated on me, had a baby with another woman, lack motivation in life, and when he felt i was being disrespectful or unfaithful he would put his hands on me. I feel so stupid for staying with him for so long and letting him eat away at my self-esteem. I find myself remembering the good times instead of focusing on why we ended. If it was meant to be then he would have never hurt me in those ways. I love this man but in time I will get over him and he will also be just another memory. Leaving a relationship is hard, and being cheated on is painful. My love was not enough to keep us together. It always takes two. Now he has a kid and he continues to not work nothing but temporaty jobs and hustle everyday. I will be o.k. but only time heals pain. Prayer helps, and having friends and family around also helps. Crying believe it or not is apart of the healing process so the more you cry and talk about it you will see that eventually the pain will leave. Going out with other people is a quick way of letting go of a old love, just dont rush. Always remember that your love for yourself has to be greater than your love for him. Some days I just want to die, others days all I do is cry, but thinking back this is the same way i felt when i was with him. Sometimes us woman get use to having that person around but believe me it will fade as soon as another fine man enters your life. My ex is not crying about me so I will not cry over him. Just move on. There is somebody for everybody. He was just apart of the learning process. What does'nt kill you only makes you stronger.

as a guy, i can tell you it's just as hard. i am there too. i dated a girl in a a long distance relationship (new york to seattle) for 8 months. i was casually dating other women when i ment her. she seemed too good to be true. i'm 42 she's 27. she was young and beatiful and made me feel good about myself. then reality set in and i realized our age difference was really becoming an issue. she smoked pot and did not have her life together. i wanted her to grow up and mature, she was not ready for that and she broke up with me in january. we tried to get back together after months of me calling her. we went to miami together to talk and have fun, and maybe work things out in march. the worst thing in the world happend. while on the beach in miami we bumped into friends of the new guy she was secretly dating since december. i freaked out because i did not know she met a new guy in seattle. we had a big fight that night. i kicked her out of the hotel we were staying. i paid for her trip to miami and the hotel, so i felt justified kicking her out. of course two days later i was regretting it. we talked for two minutes a few days later. she apologized, but she has not called me since. this was in march. i still miss her but she won't speak to me. in april she changed her number.
i am still thinking about her every day. i hate myself for caring so much for her, especially when deep down she is all wrong for me.
i'm afraid i will allways want and miss her. i know she has forgotten all about me. it hurts.

I think we hold onto past relationships when there’s some unfinished business. Could it be that there was something you wanted to say, that you didn’t say. Like stay, or sorry, etc It’s never too late to say these things, or send them in a letter, or just write them. I know with myself, I found it hard to move on because I never apologised to my ex for the things I did wrong. I always felt guilty afterwards. I’m only talking from my limited experience, I could be wrong.

the guy i'm inlove with broke up with me we would have been going out for 5 years he said i was perfect but he is in love with his ex i would get him back if i were you beacuse you really only fall inlove once i have a quote 2 they say you only fall inlove once but evrytime he looks into her eyes he falls inlove all over again.

I am also in the same kind of situation, i was will my ex for 4 years, he was an alcoholic we went through alot together but he never hint me he was kind of protective in a way but it didnt feel like that at the time.The last few weeks before we broke up he went away for a week to detox and was given tablets to help him, but by the time he had given up i had left, its been 2 years now since we parted and have been with my new partner for the same period of time, he is everything but the one thing we dont have is passition, i have since seen my ex partner and he has changed alot in the last 2 years and we have discussed the past together as i thought i needed to see him for closure. There is a spark between us. but i just dont know if i should let things go or try again, he has said that he does still have feeling for me and he said no one will be able to replace me i do have feelings for him, but dont know what to do.

you said he was a greta guy so why not ask him why you broke up.... just a question out of no where....... some ppl r hard to get over....but no one can help you with that....you have to do that part alone! GOOD LUCK

Wow...I've never seen so many responses to one question! Anyways, me and my boyfriend of 10 months broke up about 2 weeks ago, and I really think that I'm gonna have a hard time getting over him also. He also caught me at a strange time in my life, a time when I didn't even want a boyfriend, but he captured my heart we fell head over heals in love with each other. We live 6 hours apart and he's also in the process of getting a divorce....he's been separated the whole time we've been together (not my fault). He also has 2 kids with her. Anyways, his ex has been making his life a living hell he just couldn't take the stress of everything anymore, so he broke up with me. Now he's saying that he doesn't feel like we'll ever get back together again, and that he's starting to move on with his life. We're still friends, we don't talk on the phone anymore, but we instant message each other from our computers. I just can't see how after all we have been through how much love we had for each other, how he can just let go so easily. I still love him very much, and I probably always will. I'm almost 28, and he's the best match I've found yet. We could talk on the phone for hours about nothing.

girl i ve been there!! i was only goin out with this guy for about 2 mothn's!!! and i didnt get over him for 3 years!!! so i know what you mean, but look,you can just take it step by step!! start your life over!! i know its not eazy but you can do it!! if i can you can!!!!!!!!

ok i deffinately know this feeling i had a guy and we only dated for 9 months and he left me the reason is yet again UNKNOWN then i dated a guy from my school for a year and 3 months and i left him because he was cheating on me plus i still had my ex on my mind. quite recently i found out that my ex is engaged to some chick from SC which is where i live AHHH and then soon after i talk to my best friend only to find out its her hes engaged to by checking out her myspace page! i was so crushed and hurt i can't describe the feelings anymore. the only way i can live my life is knowing that things happen for a reason and the people that are in your past there is a reason they are not in your future. things happen and the only things that works for me is to not think about it but my recient trip to Virginia to see my family i saw him with her and i went after her and beat the crap out of her. she was supposed to me my best friend and she took the guy i loved more then anything in the world away from me and out of my life. i will never get him back and even though i still love him and he will always have a place in my heart i don't think i want him back. but you need to move on thats the best thing to do you can't dwell on the what could have beens because maybe the break up was the best thing for you you never know.

blow his house up...that'll make you feel bettter

I've noticed there's nothing on here regarding if the guy can't get over his ex girlfriend. Anyone have any advice? We broke up a couple years ago and I seem to compare everyone to her. She seemed perfect at the time and still really does. I still see and talk to her on occassion but she has been dating another guy that I know. I don't want to do anything to disturb their realationship, but I seem to always think about what would have been.