Help me get over my ex!!

It's been almost 3 years now and I can't seem to get over my ex-boyfriend. It's kind of silly when I think about it, because it was only a six-month relationship. He came into my life after a rough period, like he was an angel, he made me a much better person. I was the happiest I have ever been, still to this day. He truly was a great guy, the exact kind of guy that I will one day want to marry. We broke up, for a reason that is still unknown. But, I'm left here without closure. For a year and a half, I did nothing but dwell on him and what things would've been. Until, I decided to start dating again. I've been dating this one guy for a year and two months now, and I still can't get my ex off of my mind. I don't know what the problem is. It was only six months. Just recently, I heard that he is dating someone new now, and that she could be "the one" for him. I was crushed and devastated. But, I remembered that I have my own boyfriend. I don't know what to do. Either I need to get over him,quickly, or I need to get him back..some way, some how. It is very important. I need to move on at some point, but I can't without my own closure. What should I do? Please help.

Yeah, I know exactly how that feels. I broke up with the first man that I ever loved and I still question to this day whether I made the right decision or not.. But then here's what you need to realize.. you're not getting over him because you can't except that it's over. You keep hoping that you're going to get back together, or that he'll profess his love to you again one day. I've been there. It makes it harder because I'm sure you constantly compare your new boyfriend to the old one and he never quite meets the mark. What you need to accept is that if he really was the one,, then it would have happened. If you broke up with him, then you had a reason. And even if your reason was stupid, he would have made you take him back. And if he broke up with you, then he wasn't in the same place as you and it wasn't right. Plus realistically, it's impossible to love only one person that way. Love is in your mind, and you can fall in love with anybody if you've open for it. You need to cry your eyes out over this guy, realize that he wasn't the one, and let yourself love somebody else. I hope this helps.

Well,you need to move on because believeit or not your hurting your new boyfriend without him knowing and if he found out you still loved your ex he would be crushed. You are probably just remembering all the good things about him, your mind is more powerful than you think. If you think something long enough, your mind will make you believe it, and in your case that is still loving your ex. If you really do still love your ex than you need to end your relationship w/ your boyfriend unless yo can truly and permanently fix the problem. Also...I know this would hurt you, but talk to your ex and find out if he is dating "the one", and if he is face that he has moved on and that you should too.
Hope I helped!!

HI my name is kiriana my ex-boyfriend broke up wit me because he said I was not right for him and that I call to much then he said we spend to much time together. I really loved that boy and we ended up breaking up on our anversiery I really was sad that I am an model and they said that I will have to go to the hospital the doctores told me that I was going through a break down I was hurting so bad that I would not eat anything go to school I really love him I just hate to hear his name when some one say his name I just cry when I go out I cry I just be wanting to stay at home and every one say I am crazy cause I do not know what true love is I just need someone to help me on how can I get my boyfriend back and live a happy life I am only 14 years old he took my verginatie and we got a child together I really mis him.

you will never erase him compeltly but instead try turning things around. you should never spend more time dwelling of the guy then the amount of time the you spent with him. I undestand the pain the wondering the thoughts of what could have been. But instead of crying because its over, smile because it happened even if you werent the one ready to let go. And if you really love him then let him go and if you still talk or are friends then casually let him know you are happy for him. That is what true love is about. You need to move on with your life. if you must know (for closure) what went wrong between you two call him up and ask him. Only if you know yourself and you are ready to do that with out trying to interfere with his life. He has moved on and know it is time for you. I hope to have helped and stay strong. Time heals all wounds.

Im in the exact situation right now so I totally understand how you feel.. it just sucks to miss someone who don't belong to us anymore. In reality we all know that we should move on and leave him behind, but in the same we keep thinking about those beautiful things that EVER happened to us.. So please, just be cruel to yourself and accept the fact that he didn't love you anymore, or he never was.. I notice that this forum was built in 12/2004, so hopefully you already figure out what to do now. Good luck!

I've been there, more times than I'd like to count. The truth is you never do get over him. He will never leave your life or your heart as long as you hold onto it. That's neither good nor bad, it just is. It doesn't matter if it was six months, six years, six decades, love is a tricky, powerful emotion. The important thing to think about right now is your new relationship. Is this new boyfriend making you happy? Or is there something lacking in him that makes you think of a former love? Maybe you've spent too much time in relationships and not enough time on your own? Sit down, write out or think of all the good qualities your ex had- warning- you may end up crying. Then make another list, the qualities you didn't like, and believe me, there will be a few if you truely give it some thought, no one is perfect. Then make a deal with yourself; that you will not enter into a serous relationship with anyone who is lacking the qualities you desire most. Don't settle for second best and if your ex truely was the 'one' life may bring him back in some way, or it may not and you will be grateful for the experience. But don't force that. Right now, focus more on you and what makes you happy, advance yourself, try new things, keep busy. Don't feel guilty when that pang hits you, feel it for 60 seconds and then move on. That way when Mr. Right does roll around, you'll have a lot to talk about. Chin up!

I've been struggling with the same thing in my life. I met someone almost 4 years ago now, dated a very short time as well, we went separate ways....but I always felt that time would bring us together again. But for me 4 years has passed, and just this past weekend my hopes of holding on anymore seem so unrealistic. I just turned 30, and sometimes my weaknesses if my level of patience. I would wait if I knew he'd be back...but there's this part of me that says if it were him, I probably would have seen signs of something by now. I too, like you, have no closure. My advice is just that I think deep inside your heart, you'll know when it's really time to let it go and move on. If you still feel a little something, it may be there for a reason. For me, I believe God used this guy in my life in so many ways to change things about me for the better. He inspired me in ways I've never been inspired before. For you, maybe there are reasons why your paths crossed...and there is that chance it may happen again for you. So hold on only as long as you can, before your heart tells you it really is time to let go. You're heart will know when. I can't explain it, but it will. And, I would say if the guy you are dating now hasn't become greater in your heart than your ex, it shows you this new guy isn't the one. There are some qualities that you must have adored in your ex. Keep remembering what those are, and look for them in any new relationships that form. I still haven't found someone that tops the love I had for this guy, but I believe there is someone out there I haven't yet met. I know the pain of holding on, it's so hard to let go. But I would pray and talk to God. I believe with all my heart, everything happens for a reason. Hang in there...and just believe if God ever removes something from your life, He'll replace it with something better. Maybe better hasn't come yet, or maybe better will be Mr. Ex coming back one day and things being so much more than they once were. Only time will tell.... wishing you the best.

That cut me off sorry. Anyways we both have strong feelings and agreed that we should of fought harder back then. Now it is too late and very wrong to want to get back together because we will be hurting others like our kids and spouses. Yet I still cry for him like a stupid little teen age girl and he always says he loves me. Don't get me wrong we are both happy in our relationship but we made a mistake back then and now we have to live with it. Don't give up just like that if you love him try to get him back and tell him how you feel if he does not return the feeling than move on. But avoid the long pain of wondering the what if's. Love is not a choice.

Okay so it cut off the first part. What I said in the first part was that I was in the same boat I have spent 15 years wondering if I had done the right thing. I loved him so much that I decided I would not look for him after our break up. We too met at a difficult time, he was just over a divorce I was separated and had just lost a sister to leukemia. He had been married to his first wife because he got her pregnant and she used him I too became pregnant and I never told him because I did not want him to think I was trying to entrap him as well. So after we broke up I moved to another state and have helplessly tried to fall out of love with him and tried to fall in love with others only to find out that I have no choice when it comes to love. If you are in love you will soon find out that you do not choose who to give your love to and no matter how much some one loves you you can't love them back the same. We have met again over a year ago when I found out he had been sent away to Kuwait I called his mom and soon he contacted me. As destiny would have it he was stationed in Texas at the same time I had to fly over to Las Cruces due to my moms heart attack. We emailed each other and he got permission to be there for me and we talked about our past and I told him of his 15 year old son and he told me of his plans to marry me back then. Timing is so wrong for us and we can not fix the past so now we live with this mistake. He still says he loves me and I still love him too. When he returns he is going to tell his wife of his child with me and he always says I should of told him back then how I felt. Now I only pray that he makes it back safe and that god will help us all. To this day I could never say yes to marrying the guy I have been with since 1997 and I can't stay away from my ex but I have to.

I swear this scared the hell out of me when I read it. Just saying up-front I damn well know what you mean. I had an ex-boyfriend, we dated for 6 months. He came in my life when I really was going through issues. We broke up, and I never knew why. He would never tell me why. It's been two years since I really put effort to date longer than a damn day. He moved on four months after we stopped talking and he is in such a happy relationship it is been 1 year and a half for him and his girlfriend. I don't have closure with him at all. I want it so much, I want to know why, but I never will. It is causing me really bad issues with moving on, it even is leading me into serious depression. He caused a lot of problems for me when we broke up because I didn't have anyone there for me, and I didn't know how to deal with it. Right now, my friends can only say one line too me. You are only letting it get to you because you are letting it get to you. I know sounds confusing. They are just saying that I am letting it eat me up and I am taking it on. It's hard I know, but all I can say is you have to try. I am trying, I know it will take some time, but you can't say you didn't. I hope it goes well for you and I hope you take care. I wish I could help you more.

Me and my boyfriend of a year and a half just recently broke up. When I think back I can see that he was not the right person for me and that us breaking up was probably the best thing. My ex cheated on me, had a baby with another woman, lack motivation in life, and when he felt I was being disrespectful or unfaithful he would put his hands on me. I feel so stupid for staying with him for so long and letting him eat away at my self-esteem. I find myself remembering the good times instead of focusing on why we ended. If it was meant to be then he would have never hurt me in those ways. I love this man but in time I will get over him and he will also be just another memory. Leaving a relationship is hard, and being cheated on is painful. My love was not enough to keep us together. It always takes two. Now he has a kid and he continues to not work nothing but temporaty jobs and hustle everyday. I will be o.k. but only time heals pain. Prayer helps, and having friends and family around also helps. Crying believe it or not is apart of the healing process so the more you cry and talk about it you will see that eventually the pain will leave. Going out with other people is a quick way of letting go of a old love, just dont rush. Always remember that your love for yourself has to be greater than your love for him. Some days I just want to die, others days all I do is cry, but thinking back this is the same way I felt when I was with him. Sometimes us woman get use to having that person around but believe me it will fade as soon as another fine man enters your life. My ex is not crying about me so I will not cry over him. Just move on. There is somebody for everybody. He was just apart of the learning process. What does'nt kill you only makes you stronger.

as a guy, I can tell you it's just as hard. I am there too. I dated a girl in a a long distance relationship (new york to seattle) for 8 months. I was casually dating other women when I ment her. she seemed too good to be true. I'm 42 she's 27. she was young and beatiful and made me feel good about myself. then reality set in and I realized our age difference was really becoming an issue. she smoked pot and did not have her life together. I wanted her to grow up and mature, she was not ready for that and she broke up with me in january. we tried to get back together after months of me calling her. we went to miami together to talk and have fun, and maybe work things out in march. the worst thing in the world happend. while on the beach in miami we bumped into friends of the new guy she was secretly dating since december. I freaked out because I did not know she met a new guy in seattle. we had a big fight that night. I kicked her out of the hotel we were staying. I paid for her trip to miami and the hotel, so I felt justified kicking her out. of course two days later I was regretting it. we talked for two minutes a few days later. she apologized, but she has not called me since. this was in march. I still miss her but she won't speak to me. in april she changed her number.
I am still thinking about her every day. I hate myself for caring so much for her, especially when deep down she is all wrong for me.
I'm afraid I will always want and miss her. I know she has forgotten all about me. it hurts.

I think we hold onto past relationships when there’s some unfinished business. Could it be that there was something you wanted to say, that you didn’t say. Like stay, or sorry, etc It’s never too late to say these things, or send them in a letter, or just write them. I know with myself, I found it hard to move on because I never apologised to my ex for the things I did wrong. I always felt guilty afterwards. I’m only talking from my limited experience, I could be wrong.

the guy I'm inlove with broke up with me we would have been going out for 5 years he said I was perfect but he is in love with his ex I would get him back if I were you beacuse you really only fall inlove once I have a quote 2 'they say you only fall inlove once but evrytime he looks into her eyes he falls inlove all over again.'

I am also in the same kind of situation, I was will my ex for 4 years, he was an alcoholic we went through a lot together but he never hint me he was kind of protective in a way but it didnt feel like that at the time.The last few weeks before we broke up he went away for a week to detox and was given tablets to help him, but by the time he had given up I had left, its been 2 years now since we parted and have been with my new partner for the same period of time, he is everything but the one thing we dont have is passition, I have since seen my ex partner and he has changed a lot in the last 2 years and we have discussed the past together as I thought I needed to see him for closure. There is a spark between us. but I just dont know if I should let things go or try again, he has said that he does still have feeling for me and he said no one will be able to replace me I do have feelings for him, but dont know what to do.

you said he was a greta guy so why not ask him why you broke up.... just a question out of no where....... some people are hard to get over....but no one can help you with that....you have to do that part alone! GOOD LUCK

Wow...I've never seen so many responses to one question! Anyways, me and my boyfriend of 10 months broke up about 2 weeks ago, and I really think that I'm going to have a hard time getting over him also. He also caught me at a strange time in my life, a time when I didn't even want a boyfriend, but he captured my heart & we fell head over heals in love with each other. We live 6 hours apart and he's also in the process of getting a divorce....he's been separated the whole time we've been together (not my fault). He also has 2 kids with her. Anyways, his ex has been making his life a living hell & he just couldn't take the stress of everything anymore, so he broke up with me. Now he's saying that he doesn't feel like we'll ever get back together again, and that he's starting to move on with his life. We're still friends, we don't talk on the phone anymore, but we instant message each other from our computers. I just can't see how after all we have been through & how much love we had for each other, how he can just let go so easily. I still love him very much, and I probably always will. I'm almost 28, and he's the best match I've found yet. We could talk on the phone for hours about nothing.

girl I ve been there!! I was only going out with this guy for about 2 mothn's!!! and I didnt get over him for 3 years!!! so I know what you mean, but look,you can just take it step by step!! start your life over!! I know its not eazy but you can do it!! if I can you can!!!!!!!!

ok I deffinately know this feeling I had a guy and we only dated for 9 months and he left me the reason is yet again UNKNOWN then I dated a guy from my school for a year and 3 months and I left him because he was cheating on me plus I still had my ex on my mind. quite recently I found out that my ex is engaged to some chick from SC which is where I live AHHH and then soon after I talk to my best friend only to find out its her hes engaged to by checking out her myspace page! I was so crushed and hurt I can't describe the feelings anymore. the only way I can live my life is knowing that things happen for a reason and the people that are in your past there is a reason they are not in your future. things happen and the only things that works for me is to not think about it but my recient trip to Virginia to see my family I saw him with her and I went after her and beat the crap out of her. she was supposed to me my best friend and she took the guy I loved more then anything in the world away from me and out of my life. I will never get him back and even though I still love him and he will always have a place in my heart I don't think I want him back. but you need to move on thats the best thing to do you can't dwell on the 'what could have beens' because maybe the break up was the best thing for you you never know.

blow his house up.....that'll make you feel bettter

I've noticed there's nothing on here regarding if the guy can't get over his ex girlfriend. Anyone have any advice? We broke up a couple years ago and I seem to compare everyone to her. She seemed perfect at the time and still really does. I still see and talk to her on occassion but she has been dating another guy that I know. I don't want to do anything to disturb their realationship, but I seem to always think about what would have been.

I have the same problem as you do. I dated this guy for only about 7 1/2 months. but every moment with him was perfect. he was the one for me I thought. I was completly fallen for him. and when it ended I didnt have closure. I didnt get a phone call from him one day, then it turned to a week, then months. I didnt know if he was dead or what. then I found out that he thought I would know it was over if he didnt call. pathetic, at least I think. but here I am almost 2 years later and he is still the first thing that pops into my head. I've had many boyfriends since then and I liked them all but in everyone of my relationships it feels like there is something missing. I dont think you ever get over the person that you care about that much. if you care that much about someone they are not going to go away easy. my advice to you would be if you are happy with who you are with now try everything to make it work. try everything to forget about this other guy. because if you just dwell on him then you can never know what else there is out there. im sure he is very special to you as was my ex, and they are very hard to forget, but sometimes all you can do is to try. if you left the guy that you are with now to try and get back together with this other guy how would that make him feel? does this other guy even want you back? sometimes you can only look at what you have. not what you had and what could of been but what you have and what you can make out of it.

Same boat, except the guy and I dated for three months. He was my first; older man. Broke up with me in an email. It's been three and a half years. And he's married now.

I can't get over him. He's sort of a public figure, so that makes it a bit harder. I was a kid, but I've grown in so many ways. Any attempts of trying to be friendly with him go avoided by him. I was in a transtional period of life, and he broke my heart to no end. I still feel it now, and I wonder if we'll ever be friends. He's one of those people where you'd be happy just having their company. Just knowing they exist simultaneously in the same time and space is enough. It feels good to say so. I miss him. I'm not sure if I'll ever get over him, but I'm trying. Going to school, working, dating, writing. A lot of these things I do for him, but I need to switch to doing it for me. . . anyway, by now you've gotten your things together, I hope. And if you haven't, it's okay... we're only human. What else can be done?

ttfn.

f

GET HIM BACK

Wow, and who to think others had the same issue..I suppose it truly is part of life- breaking up and getting over it. I find myself though questioning myself and my sanity at times. I met this person over four years ago, on-line. Yes, I am married and had not business chatting with people I don't know perhaps, but I never thought that I would like someone who was half my age and 9000 miles away, but it happened. After a couple of months of talking lterally at least 8 hours a day ever ysingle day, I finally agreed to vacation in Europe and meet. WOW, it was like ...I can't explain it. I was devastated that I had to come home and the other had to go back to Australia. A month later I was convinced to go and spend time there, and did for about 3 weeks, and we missed each other so much- returned a couple of months later and st ayed another month. I broke up during that time because of a few reasons: 1) age difference 2) this person met someone at work and all the conversation was around that person- it was sooo apparent that there was something there. 3) the most difficult for both of us, my first gay experience and what I felt my first love. It broke his heart and he cried, but he seemed to get over it quickly after a few months, but I never did. I think the one guy Nekta was correct, I have unfinished business- at least in my heart. He tried to hug me and say goodbye at the airport but I was such a butt, I wouldn't. As I walked away, I saw him crying a bit while he waved good by. I couldn't say good bye cause I knew it would probably be the last time I will ever see him. I love my wife but I am not in-love with her like I was with her. If only I could have waited and been patient with him about things, but his mum was right. I am mature and he is just beginning life, and will have many loves. Well, he found a guy about 30 and has been with him for about 3 years now, and I am still longing to be with him. I try to write him, he just replied, 'you are a self-centered as*h*le, and leave me alone.' My heart wants to be with him, but I think what really is the issue, I want to say 'Sorry' face-to-face, and give him that hug. He will not allow me. For me, I feel that I can't move on, or maybe it is just a lie for me. Believe or not, my wife still loves me enough to go thru all this with me, and I wish that I could only be in-love with her, but my heart only thinks of him. I can't explain about my wife, I wish she would leave me. I am not an active gay man cause I only want to be with him, and my wife and I have not really been intimate for over eight years. I hate seeing her suffer with pain because she is inlove with a man who loves another man. I told myself the other day that it was time for me to let go, I truly believe that I need to burn everything (pics, letters, etc) from him and let it go forever, and either live a gay life or work it out with my wife- God knows she is an awesome loving woman! I truly mean that. Sometimes I think I don't want this marriage to succeed because we can't have children (and it's me, not her). Who knows, but yes, I think that I know what you mean about holding on to an ex.

if he's your first boyfriend
then you will never get over him
so don't even try second of all
you should be thinking about your boyfriend right now
instead of your ex you won't get over him no matter what
so just let him stay on your mind
atleast that's what I do I still think about my ex
but I lknow I always will cause he's the first one
and you always remember the first one

ok here is the scoop. number 1 the rule of thumb in a relationship is no answer is the answer number 2 tell yourself each day you have enough confidence in yourself to find someone esle nubmer 3 love is two way road not one, so genuine love means if it is a one way road you have to let go. number 4 accept this person and recognize the impact of their loss in your life ACCEPT IT. number 5 never ever talk about your ex just trust me and dont number 6 improve yourself.

this has been very enlightening! Hmmm...while considering revenge, I came upon this posted question ffrom 2004! Well, quick story...met on line, met at coffee shop, 1 and 1/2 months of wow, then out of the blue he broke it off over the phone...I have kids, took too much time away he said, we went too fast, he meant everything he said to me and still feels the same way about me he loves me it isn't me it's him!!!hahaha gotta love that one...anyway! blah, blah, blah...we rekindled w/ me saying I'd take what I could get...what a nit-wit, then, of course we had a wonderful weekend trip, he started crossing the line of our deal and I started believing we were heading to 'commitment talk time...he broke it off again! This isn't getting any shorter, anyway! We have been talking again he finally told me the truth about Things he should have told me from the beginning...debt, ex-wife issues and that he was moving back w/her for 'convenience', it gets better this was 2 1/2 weeks after he broke up w/me that he struck a bargain with her that if they lived together it meant w/all the perks...she has now recanted saying she isn't emotionally ready to have sex w/him, but he can 'sleep' in the same bed and help her w/everything and basically be her beyotch boy, while she still sees and has sex w/her present (who she is breaking up w/...) boyfriend. Isn't life strange! So, ironically he has signed a 6 month lease and is living in the back yard in a trailer! He saw her 'ex' boyfriend yesterday and felt like kicking his katuckus, I said it sounded as though he might be feeling a wee bit 'jealous', he said he wasn't...yeah, right. Anyway, I pointed out that I was his 'dirty little secret' and he was doing the same thing to her so he really didn't have a leg to stand on...he says he is just angry at himself for letting himself be 'misled' by her ... SO! enter ME! I love this man...not for what he can or can't 'give' me monetarily, but because of who he was and wanted to be when we first met, he is funny, intelligent, writes beautifully, fun, adventurous... and although the mean side of me says....REVENGE! The other side of me says: Just be his friend and help him get what he thinks he wants..(which could actually be a form of revenge and help me to move the hell on!) So, I am going to propose he let it be known that he is still seeing me, have me come over (he needs to pick me up so she can't run my plates and find out where I live!...she's a cop)Anyway, have me over, go out to 'the trailer' hang out and watch a movie or play scrabble or even actually have sex...fyi, best damn sex I have ever had, (we have an agreement...once he sleeps with her, I'm back to just really good friend...saves my heart a little (my idea)...So! Women are emotional creatures, we don't always say what we really want, jealousy is a powerful, humongous motivator...since he won't 'force' the terms of the deal they made, this will give him a chance to passively get what he thinks he 'wants'...and I get to be a beyotch...new role for me. I am 'the truly nice girl' everyone wants as a sister...do anything for you type...' ugh. Time to play someone else for a while. I'm not saying this doesn't hurt like hell, but I believe I am doing this for me...I have had so much tradedy in the past year and 1/2 ... widowed by suicide, daughter molested by former boyfriend, court, court, court, mortgage, property taxes, holding on to my house by a thread now and my sanity! fyi: therapy helps! I.e> I need to move on and if I don't go through with this I'm afraid I'll end up in a very bad USED place emotionally! So....any help to anyone? Any suggestions? Please don't send me a web site for a How-To get back ex, dump ex, help ex get together w/ex or other websites w/a similar genre! Thanx...truly hope no one else finds themselves in so deep, but I AM a realist and know that 'if wishes and buts were candy and nuts...we would all have a very fine time!' Good luck to all.

my names jessy and im thirteen me and my ex had been together for a year And he broke up with me because he didnt want to fall in love at such a young age but that doesnt help me I was seriously in love with him we broke up last week and hes all that I can think about my old friend sam asked him out and he said yes and I just found out and he said he was over me now and that I need to move on but he doesnt understand.
I LOVE HIM.I wish we were still together.itryed getting over him then I got on the bus and he sat there smiling.and I realized how much I loved him he asked me to marry him I know that were young but he even got me a ring and everything I would die for this boy and I called sams house and told her she better have a nice week cause monday I want to bring a gun to school and kill her seriously.but I cant.but I seriously would.IAM IN LOVE WITH HIM.
someone help me..

email Fun mail me

Your story is like a copy of mine. It took me five years to get over my first love, and we were together for only seven months. Before him, no guys had ever paid much attention to me, I was a bit overweight and had low self-esteem. He was the whole package, extremely handsome, charming, attractive, smart and funny. He came into my life totally unexpectedly. He was the first one that I kissed, the first one that I made love with, the first one that gave me so much joy, that first one that introduced me to things that I've never experienced before, the first one that I fell totally in love with. We had to end the relationship abruptly because circumstances was not allowed, it broke my heart, and I cried my eyes out when he left.
After him, I lost weight and learn to be confident because of all the positive comments he gave me. Guys started to be around me like buys around light. I had several boyfriends after him and inevitably compared them with him, but none of them could live up to his standard. I thought about him every single day in those five years. But I finally met a wonderful guy that make me forget about him. My new guy is everything he is, and even more. I love him dearly , he is the first person that makes me forget about my first love at all. I stopped thinking about my first love, he's out of my life now.
I found him from an online social networking website not long ago. I sent him my messages and he replied. I found out I can finally see him as an old friend, not an infatuation that never goes away.
I'd advise you to go out and find a new guy. You may not believe me that you can find a new love, but trust me, I'd been there longer than you are. It will pass, and time and a new relationship will heal everything.

Your's sounds like mine ...
find out the unkonow reson...
that way you cn put your mind at rest ...
but if that dont help then ...
Love is a load of W A and K
any way xxx

I ASKED A SAME QUESTiiON SWEETHEART...SUMBODY HELP ME TO.../

can somebody help me get over my x-girlfriend?

it's really hard to move on seeing her everyday 'because we're officemates..and the worst part here, someone is courting my x in the office. I'm jealous and can't help it.. I still have feelings for her.

Please help!

Wow I had the same problem but they ended up breaking up and we got closer again so now we are back together so try to hang out with him more but dont make it obvious andmayb he will want to go bc out with u! Good luck

well, here's what I have to say. Go to other guys. Try them out. If they remind you of your ex then move on. If you really want your ex back then give him some signs. Hang around him more and talk to him more. If it goes on long enough, then maybe he'll want to date you again!

I know how all of you guys feel. I've been there. My ex boyfriend and I werent dating for a really long time, and I know this will probably sound stupid but we had something special. I knew I was in love with him and he was in love with me too. However, I made a mistake and it wasnt until then that I realized how much he meant to me. He moved on but I was just stuck. He was the first guy I ever really loved. Then as time went on we would talk sometimes and he told me he still had feelings for me and I told him how I felt about him. But he never wanted to act on his feelings. He was dating around and I was too but I was never really happy. Then he fell for this girl he dated for about 5 or 6 months. I still dont think hes over her and it makes me sad because Id never hurt him again and Id do anything for him. Im not happy being single but the only one I want to be with, it will probably never happen. I really dont know what to do its been about a year and a half and I should be over him but I just cant. I still love him. Any advice?

well, nice to know I'm not alone!

just the mere fact that I CAN'T get over him after so long (6 years) makes me feel even worse! like, 'why am I so dumb? he obviously wasn't the guy for me!' I can makes lists and lists of why I'm better off. but this has nothing to do with being rational.

I'm 32. had dated many men before him, been engaged to one. dated many wonderful guys since. me and this love-of-my-life were going to get married and then long distance...who knows? 6 years later, still hanging over my head and hurts like hell.

I think it only hurts so much bc you think 'if this was the ONLY time in my life I felt this way, what if it never happens again??' it's not him, it's the idea that he was 'IT'. missed that boat and all that.

plus the ego-pain of failure. that sucks, too.

***which MEANS you ain't never going to get over it until it does happen again. fingers crossed.

good luck to me and to you all!

(and soduku is a cure-all bc you can't possibly think about an EX while you are consumed with numbers) words of wisdom to give your mind a break from obsessing.

He was right for you at that point in your life, but three years later would he really fit into your life now? You are a completely different person- and so is he.
When broke up with someone a while ago I was crushed, I m not even ashamed to say it, I fell in love and the break up was bad. Don't be frustrated by not being over him yet. You will be. (Distance makes the heart grow weaker ?)

It will be work I was in a very bad relationship with a guy hit me and I still loved him we were together for 4 yeras I finally had break up with him yes I loved but he eas the right man for I knew it was the best to end it before he killed it tooked me years to over him

yeah it seems like we all got the same problem I cant get ova my ex and everyone says he gay but I still love him hes like my 1st true love someone help me!!!

Wow! I am glad to know that I am not the only one who still is thinking about the ex. My ex and I dated for 5 years, but have not talked in 4 years. He is still on my mind and I do compare the new boyfriend to him, which is not fair (although we have recently broken up after 4 years together and I believe that not being able to let go of the past played a part. I gave it my all in this new relationship and did not contact the ex even though I wanted to. He was just the opposite of the ex and I thought that is what I needed)

In the end all I can say is the heart wants what it wants. When that kind of love comes again I think that then I will know and finally be able to leave the past in the past. (I just hope it comes quick because 30 is just around the corner!!!)

it took me a year to forget my boyfriend but if there's one thing I've learned in life : it goes on. so go ahead and forget that guy and try someone new. ya know wut socrates said? the hottest love has the coldest end. but its time to end it.

In reality it's letting go that makes you stronger. I met a guy from NY I live in GA and I tried harder in this 8 month relationship than any other & been through more it feels like I been with him for 5 years. he always finding flaws in me putting me down and kept telling me I'm not the one for him then he will call me constantly telling me he loves me and a bunch of fluff but always want to see me basically for cheap thrills. I can't deal with it anymore emotionally so I changed all my numbers 2 days ago and I'm hurting but I do know this; Every as*h*le in the world say's he loves somebody. Means nothing. What'chu feel only matters to you, it's what'chu do to the people you say you love - that's what matters it's the only thing that counts. For each ending theres always a new beginning. Loniness gets the best of me at night & my mind play tricks on me and I try not to think of him but my mind just won't behave. I keep in mind at first he said that he love me and never going to leave me but now I see that he is a liar. When I'm ready cause my feelings are getting stronger he decided to retire. look in the mirror & better yourself & when your ready allow your ex to c you for the natural star you r...trust me it's hard but I feel as though if I'm worth holding onto I wouldn't be so easy to be disposed. I know silence & no communication hurts the other party more than you think about all the girls or dudes you dated in the past who lusted after u (fans) & you rejected when they stop reaching out to you or you stop seeing them you sort of miss them..I only c hurt between dude (NY)and I so I let him be he already told me all I need to know with his bi-polar self. I still love everything about him even his flaws with the exception of the mind games and juggling my heart...in my scenario I had to close this chapter but if you want to be friends (something I'm 2 weak to do if I truly love the person, I don't want 2 know when they fall in love or have kids) just ignore them for a week or so and in that time do all you can to wow them when you meetup for lunch ;-) and play hard to get and don't say you missed them or love them first keep saying 'me 2'..hope I helped someone.

Fun mail me

Would of, could of, should of...will not get you anywhere...the obsession will kill you before anything else...whatever happened, happened...if anything take a look at ones self and see what part you had in it...good or bad...all you can do is learn from it...things in life happen for a reason. If it were meant to be it would have been...Time will heal all and this to shall pass...

im not over my ex boyfriend yet either!

did you know that I have post a question entitle 'does man have love as a feeling?'...that question posses to an answer of --->I CANT GET OVER WITH MY EX!

welll possibly the only reason your close to him is because he came to you when you needed someone the most. he had been the one to come but the thing is it was only 6 months and to you it probably met the whole world but to him it could of been diffou have.erent . dont get me wrong he could of been happy to . good things are not ment to last forever and when it finally ends it makes you miss what you had and how things used to be. the best thing to do is remember that you have a new man and your happy with him too. sure he dosent have everything your ex had but he can be just as could . the sad thing about all this is im 12 years old And im as wise as I can be .

Hun,im still gettin over my ex that lasted 11 months.I wud help.

yeah I could relate to that!.. thats the same thing happened to me with my first boyfriend!
the same thought is in my mind as yours, I thought that he was the one, he was an angel to me at that time, he help me make it thru a lot of problems, and the sad part again,we broke up for no reason. at first I kept on crying every night cause I dont know how to spend my life without him anymore, you know we've been together everyday but when we broke up everything fell apart! I was even asking his cousin about the thing that I can do to have him back, but still there's no use.. I was also afraid before that I could not move on..I was really really really down and upset!! im desperate enough to do anything for him... it was just lately when I realized that if the guy does not really want you anymore there's no thing that you could do to have him back..no matter what damn you give and to show everyone that you really want him back!!..
the thing that I do during those moments, I just opened up my heart again..and to accept the fact that he is not mine anymore.. thats the lesson I've learned..
we have to be optimistic,and just be patient,and understanding..

I do know there's somenone better than him for you..

like what happened to me..

Hey...well I feel you I been through the same as you have I went out with my first boyfriends and first love for 3months and when we broke up it was devastating to me I thought I would never love anyone as I did him...4 years have past and I still think of him but I have found someone special out there who has helped me to forget him a little and also he understands that I still have feelings for my 1st love and never forget him and ohly wants me to be happy and the anotherthing now is that my ex just started talking to me a while ago and one I feel weird whenever I do and another at the time I've seen we aint meant to even thought I still think of him a lot he'll always be your first love but one day you'll find someone better...trust me I did^_^

I know how you feel. I have been going out with this guy for 2 years and we have know each other a lot longer than that. We where very close and also with each others families. I thought and still do that he is the one. I have been in other relationships but nothing like this. Our last year in high school he was deciding what he wanted to do, go to college or the marines. We graduated from school and I started my college and he decided to go to the marines but not until this year. The past 2 months before he left he was spending more time with the guys on my nights off lifting weights and such to get ready for the marines. He then told me that he loved me but he didn't think this would work out and he broke it off. We talked a few times since then but all I got from him was I still love you very much and care about you but I just can't do this anymore. The night before he left I went to say goodbye and he kissed me and told me that he still loved me. This guy has never lied to me ever and I really think he does love me. All our friends tell me something different. Some tell me that you doesn't want me to put my life on hold and not enjoy myself while he is gone that I need to move on and be happy. Others tell me that he just wants to be free to do what he wants and doesn't care. He has never told me that we will not get back together but some tell me that he told them that. I am confused and have been through the not eating and still it is hard. All I do is think about him and what we had together. It is not getting easier at all even with me going to college everyday and working 6 nights a week he is still on my mind. I just wish I know why and if there is a chance. I always trusted him and I still do with all my heart. One of his freinds told me what f he would meet someone else while on tour and what if there was someone else out there for him. All I replied to him was you can't live on what if's. It could also be me that could happen too and then you have a decision to make. I am very close to his family and having lunch with his mom and maybe she can sort some of this out for me. So good luck because it is very hard.

this book helped me a lot!!!http://www.itscalledabreakup.com/

Hey im in the almost the same situation as you and its really hard, like my girlfriend broke up with me like 4 monthes ago and I have no idai why. but all I ever think about is her and she just got back with her ex boyfriend wich kills me. I know how hard it is to see or hear that the person you love soo much loves someone else. I dont really have any advise but I thought it would help to hear that your not alone, cause it helped me out a little.. just try and stay friends with your ex and maybe oneday it will all work out. thats what im trying to do, just think to your self is your ex really worth the pain, cause if you take my advise and are friends with him its going to be hard to see your ex knowing there with someone else... well any way if you want to talk more just funmail me. I truly hope everything works out for you.

My ex and I were together for a rocky 3 months before he ended it to get back together with his ex. A year and a half later it still hurts, he was my friend, he was my first everything. My head tells me he's not worth it but my heart misses him. We're at a crossroads now where I feel like I need to choose whether or not he should stay in my life. Should we work on repairing our friendship? I feel like it's easier for me to just cut him out forever but the thought of that makes me so sad. Part of me wants him in my life b/c I can't let go but as well, I reason it out by thinking if we could somehow repair our friendship I wouldn't feel so much pain and abandonment from the ending of our relationship. I went through so much with him and I hate how looking back at it just makes me want to cry. I want to be able to treasure the time we spent together and laugh about it one day. But I know it's not healthy for me to keep clinging on, perhaps it'll be better to just bury it all. Any advice for this confused soul?

Well, honey, I think you should talk to him to get that closure you definitely need. Also, to really get over him, I think you should talk about WHY you broke up, and maybe get an idea of what you might have done wrong (so that you might not do it again) or what he did (so that you know what to look for in the others you date).

But if you really want to stop thinking about him, only think about the bad things that happened. For example, maybe he yelled at you a lot or insulted you or insulted your family. Maybe he cheated once and promised to never do it again, or maybe there was no chemisty. But if you think about all the GOOD things that happened, you might not be able to let go. If you think of all the BAD things that happened, it's easier to move on.

Unless you find out why you broke up you'll never get over him. But if you still love him you shouldn't lead this new guy on

If he came into your life after a rough period and the relationship was for 6 months then you guyz must have been pretty close. so you should at LEAST approach him one day and tell him how you feel. just get it out there whether you think he feels the same way or not. also, this other guy...u guys have also been going out for a pretty long time. you probably shouldnt tell him this if you havent already. if you get pretty involved with getting this guy back you should break up with him. not only will that make things less complicated but it will also show your ex that you really do miss him. I know what its like to have someone like that in your life. it totally changes everything in your life.

the best thing to do is keep yourself very busy, very very very busy that way you dont think of him anymore
dance and exercising usually help a lot. thats the best advice I can give
you have to let him o
I just went through the same thing