How do i handle being 21 and depressed?

Before i write anything i want to let you know that my english is not so good (im Hispanic) but ill try to do my best to explain my situation

Hello, My Name is Angel, im 21 Years old, i dont have any close friends and i think i'm sever depress, all my...

life i always been a quite and shy person, focus on myself and i never been attach to anybody on my family(even my parent), or friends, not that i dont love family but i just feel that im kinda selfcenter about the things that i do or like,(that's not bad isnt it?) but first of all i have a big problem and it's that i cannot accept who i am. i always lie about who i'm (age, my social life, what i do and everything else that would be use as a subject of a conversation when im talking to anybody in particular) i think i do it trying to fit in a group or to make myself feel better than the other person, i want to stop this..i dont want to be like this, but its like im a machine with a automatic button of mine that blocks the other side of me, the person who i really am (the real me, with lots of feeling but with nothing to talk about. everything it's so confusing) i feel is really selfish of mine, and its just a burden i been carrying around with me all my teenager life,i always dream that the day i die ill go straight to hell for being such a lier. i dont know what to do. i think the medical term is call compulsive lier

the other thing is that i been in and out of relationships for the past 3 years, and the reason this happends is because of my behaviors, i felt in love with this girl when i used to live in my country and she was everything for me, my first real relationship (at least that was what i thought), like anybody else i lie about who i was (i was 18 when i met her and i told her i was 21 so i could make myself look more mature) i said i was from some other hispanic country when im actually dominican so in that way i could look like somebody more interesting, i told her i lived in a high class neighborhood so i could fit in with her life status (her parents made alot of money) and so many other things that to this day makes me feel so embarrased about who i am) .

She was so special to me, she knew my parents and new hers, we shared so many things and we were really into eachother, but at the end everything felt apart, she was in the process of geting a better education and decided to go to United states to study, we agree that we would continue the relationship at distance, and she left, 2 months later after she left she found out she was pregnant and i was the father, i was in shock. imaging me, back then an 18 year old with a bad job and no economic structure, A FATHER, i was so affraid of leting her down, and didnt want to tell her o my parents, (i guess it takes time for a guy to mature in life), she said she never wanted a child so her and i agree in her having an obortion, that was when everything got worse because i couldnt affort it and she didnt know what to do either, her friend were putting pressure on her, and got mad a me because i couldnt help her, they were overprotecting her and we end up breaking up, after that she came back for vacation and eventually you cant hide who you really are for too long, she found out everything about me, and how everything was from the begining, i felt so bad i wanted to kill myself, just becuase my insecurities were the reason why the only thing i treasure in life was gone. i really loved her, i still not able to forget everything that happend and till this day im not able to have a relationship with anybody because of this, and to make it worst my appearance has change within 2 years i was diagnose with a generic skin desise call vitiligo (my grand father and my father have them too) and it makes my skin complection change (im losing my real skin tone) it doesnt have a cure yet and this bring me down to a point where i keep thinking i wont be able to be the same (never) or to be accept by someone for whom i really am, i'm losing all my hope for a better future with friends and my own family but i cant explain thinking why after all this years i can't forget my past, have a new perspective of my life and be a better person.. this is what the cross i carry with me 24/7,365 days of the year and i really need help..thank you for reading my story and for your advice..

ey your not the only one suffering vitilgo..
in the future theres gonna be alot of cures for it
so keep yer head up..
vitiligo doesnt change who yu aree
if someone says sumthin bout it den they obviously have a problem.
listen i reelie hope u move on with ur life no matter wat obstacles u face
become a more independent person.. i might not feel good bout urself but wen u reelie express who you are and when a girl who loves you for that comes along..thats true love.
lifes ups and downs..they come and go;

head up^
1~

Hello i read your story and wow that was something. now let me tell you a litle about me. i was the most lovable girl ever. well just imagine, i would model for my high school. when after my graduation like 2 yrs ago i was also diagnosed the same disease. i just went down in a depression and it is something you cant hide. but i found a guy he knew me before and he knows me now. he said to me that no matter how much i change in the outside he was always going to love me because of who i am in the inside. I remember trying to cover it with tons of make-up but nothing worked it was there until i gave up and now i am in college and if i dont care of how i look people around you will not care eiter so just relax and to be honest with others you have to be honest with yourself. now i look at myself in the mirror and i say i know i am beautiful and this is just a stone in my pathway and i will not trip with it. This guy that i told you about proposed to me and i will get married next year. soo just love yourself starting to be honest with yourself and others and you will see how everything will change.
I hope this will help.

im am so sorry for the way ur life is going reading this story made me want to cry, u are so depressing u need therapy im not trying to joke but u are on ledge of doing sucide soon so u need to see a doctor plase dont do something stupid
hoped i helped!!!