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Good opening paragraph?

um yeah Asked by zimmyzimmyzoomzoom 11 months ago, 3 answers.

I had to write a huge 5-6 page essay. I finally got it done, I just want to know if my opening paragraph sounds okay. Any suggestions would be highly appreciated. Thanks for helping!

In today’s world, it is very unlikely to find your true love. Life...

is not, by any means, a fairy tale and love is not always true, but there are rare times when one can find his or her true love. In fitzgerald’s book, the great gatsby, this rare situation seemed to actually be true. Gatsby and daisy fell in love and were made for each other. Although definitely things didn’t work out as gatsby had wished, it is still true that gatsby and daisy were made for each other, and only each other.

Me and my brother Answered by asdfg63plus1 on Dec 16, 2008, 09:09PM
152 answers

Sounds pretty good from my opinion. But for your first sentence, maybe you could try something like In today's world, true love is a hard thing to come by. or In today's world, true love is a very rare occurence. But if you like your first sentence better, by all means, leave it as it is. Also, for the second sentence, you could try something like but every once in a while, someone will find their true love. I hope I helped, but if I didn't I apologize.

2 people thought this was helpful
most recent <3 Answered by suzyboo on Dec 16, 2008, 09:10PM
365 answers
Advisor-small

I like it but I feel like the first two sentences were too wordy. As if you tried to include too many commas and too many words.
Perhaps:
In today's world it is very unlikely that you will find our true love. Life is not by any means a fairytale. Though it is more likely to not find true love than to find, it there are rare times when one does find True love.

Also you used the word rare too much. Try using almost impossible .
When you write Gatsby and Daisy fell in love and were made for each other write: Though love seems to be one of the hardest things to find, Gatsby and Daisy were deeply in love with one another. Although things did not work out as Gatsby had wished, it remains clear and untouched that Gatsby and Daisy were made for each other, and no one else.

just my advice wink

On a beach in Malibu... .. Duh Answered by malibu_mike on Dec 16, 2008, 11:46PM
15 answers

Finding true love is not as easy as in the fairy tales; but their are rare instances where the connection is made.

or

In Fairy tales, finding true love is easy as opposed to real life. However, there are rare instances in which true romance becomes a reality.

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