Getting over her

I've been in this relationship for 3 years now on and off.I've known her since head start but really started hangin out with eachother in 6th grade we went out for the first time in 8th grade I got locked up in 9th grade for a year came home and me and her became inseperable friends,we could talk for hours no matter what time it was about anything.At the time she had a boyfriend she was pretty serious about and I respected that I didnt try to come between them you knew.The school year ended it was late june early july I was heavy into selling crack on the block (no I never tried it PROMISE) and she was cool with that she owies supported me, well one day I went over her house and one thing led to another and befour I knew it I felt her warm juices on my pen*s as she's riding me, after that I just had to have her after about a week or 2 she left her boyfriend and me and her started our relationship.Now that I had her I felt that she was my soulmate. she didnt want me to sell crack anymore I had no problem with that cause it made her feel stable with me and how long can it last without getting caught by cops you knew.so the summer passes and I still didn't find a job.I was living in my mother's basement apartment going nuts never sleeping just talking to her on the phone, I didn't get to see her all the time cause she lived about 15 mins away and when I was messin around sellin drugs I caught $16,000 in tickets so I couldnt drive.So I move to my uncles house which is probally 25 mins away from her now.I start plumbing everything is starting to make me really feel good I got my girl and I'm learning a great trade.We'll now november comes aroound and she went to her friends party wher she met this guy mark, I didn't find out about him until alittle after christmas for christmas I got her these beautiful diamond earings, perfume,a big winnie the pooh and some other stuff.By the way she lives with her father but he was never home always in the city and she still was never aloud to leave the house a real as*h*le.So I hear her on the phone one day and she said 'you knew you told me you loved me the other day talking about the kid mark' I fuckin lost it.Sorry for making this so long we get over that her father kicks her out she moves in with me in may I paid for a cab everyday so she would graduate in the summer she went to the coast guard.September comes and the day she got out we slept in a hotel becuase we couldnt move in till the next day and I had a car for her so she could drive becuase I coulnt.She starts drilling and meets another guy mikey and I found out when she was going to school at night she was going to hang out with this kid from high school I smacked her pretty bad and tried to through her out.Three days befour new years I get locked up for drivig she came and bailed me out.At times I treated her haribly christmas I left her home alone new years it's just like I didn't give a f**k about her.so january comes I break my back and we move into her fathers house.I started sellin crack again and I hardly seen her I was not mister innocent.So she came home one day and I hid in the attac and she was talking to this guy about this kid in the coast guard I hopped out of the attac and started choking her .I come to find out after I did that she fucked this kid the day after I did that and sucked his di*k I might have cheated but never raw and never ate a girl out.So we get ove that july comes she goes to coast guard school again met another guy who was28 and was ready to leave me when she came home in september.so now this whole year we just been friends with benefits.so now its july present she still talks to all these guys even the 28 year old but then she tell's me she want's to be with me its like come on.so now she started real-estate school and she met this other guy and she's talking to her old guy friends again and now I want her back but I dont trust her but I need her I miss the beginning of our relationship so much I miss holing her while she's sleeping, just looking into her eyes all of that. So I asked her if she wanted to be with me and she said she doesn't think it would work out but she want's to be my best friend and I told her I dont think we should talk at all and now im here talking to my computer I feel so fucked up inside I just dont knew what to do please help me someone I feel so desperate but thats not me.Thank you for listening

I am sorry I don't have a REAL advice to give to you but I want to tell you to listen to your heart. Think about it, Do you really want her or are you stuck with the memories you have with her. I am sorry I dont have a real advice but always listen to your heart...

I think if you really love her you should try to get with her I mean I would but im not you I cheeted and im pretty sure my ex was going thru what your going thru now but if you think you need her go get her