Why is everything so messed up?

I have no motivation to do any of the things I should be doing, such as get a job or anything. I have no love life, I've never had a love life, and serious lack of affection from namely my parents as resulted in me being basically unable to express emotion.

All I have to ever look forward to is hanging out with friends on the weekends, and when we don't do anything particularly fun I feel... disappointed or something. They're still in high school.

I should have graduated last year but I gave up half way through and am about to take my GED. I did good on the practice test, but I seriously don't feel like taking a two day long test, and me not feeling like doing so is more important to me than what people will think of me without one.

I have hobbies. I make videos and put em on the internet, I play video games, I play ouside a lot, I do all sorts of junk. But I have no one to love, and no one loves me, I have no incentive to get a job and make money, or go to college and get a degree.

I used to get depressed about all this, but now everything just feels... messed up. I think I had a mid-life crisis like 1/5 into my life, and now I just don't know what to do or where to go.

When I think about my future, or people ask where I see myself in 10 years or whatever, I don't see anything. I have no clue where I'll be, and in the back of my mind I feel that in all probability, I'll be dead, as emo as it sounds.

People try and pressure you into living your life the way they want you to, because that's how they had to do it, how everyone else does it, so you have to do it too. But I don't want any of that, and I want to do it my own way and at my own pace. It's just that I don't know what that is any more.

Everyone spews all this great advice about life, but don't even listen to it. And if you try and go by it, they shut you down. Everything's so messed up, and I don't know what to do.

Get BUSY and make it happen - education/job/learning a trade/giving yourself a chance at a high standard of living - you appear to prefer to whine and say poor, poor, pitiful me - your quote: 'But I don't want any of that, and I want to do it my own way and at my own pace' - Realize: own way / own pace is not working ! - no-ones responsibility but yours to 'succeed'...I wish you the best !!

I feel the same way...and in a way going through the same things...now I cant sit here and say I know exactly what your going throug because I dont...but try do something you love get motivated to make somone happy or better yet yourself

Dear kamex,
What you are experiencing is depression. You need to seek out a counsellor. This is the way you see things with faulty thinking...once you are giving some counselling and perhaps some medication you will start seeing things differently. Depression is very prevalent in our society and is now easily treated. About your GED...there are things in life we wish we didn't have to do, things we don't want to do but things we know must be done. You are no different than anyone else we all feel this way...so why do we go a head and do them anyways...because we aren't depressed and we see the future and the hope it brings. So get yourself some help and you will come to see the hope and the bright future you do have.
Sue...good luck

I'm not saying "poor, poor pitiful me", I'm saying "what the crap". I don't want to get busy doing that crap because I don't see it as a better standard of living. I see it as people just doing it because they're supposed to and somehow coming to the conclusion that their job is their purpose in life and as soon as they hit 50 they realize that's wrong, have a mid-life crisis, and retire or something and move to Hawaii and think to themselves something along the lines of "I always wanted to be a painter" and go pursue that. Problem is I started thinking about it too early and I don't want to waste half my life doing crap I don't want to do.

And I don't feel depressed at all. I used to get depressed about the future all the time back in high school, I went to a psychiatrist and he pissed me off so I left and never came back, and I took happy pills and they made it worse. Then one summer I got over it, and now all I can say is "what the crap". I've got one life to live and I seriously don't want to waste it doing stuff I really don't want to do. And all anyone can say is "Deal with it. I had to, everyone else has to, so you have to too. Life isn't fair. Blah blah blah." But those are the words of people who gave up early in life and decided they'd submit to people making their life suck and that people would use them and push them around and walk all over them, and now they feel that by making everyone else do it they're somehow getting back at all the people that made their life suck. It's a stupid cycle. No one really knows why we're here or what the hell is going on, and it's stupid that we pretend to. I'm convinced the meaning of life is to be happy, but how the hell am I supposed to be happy in life if I have to waste it doing crap that makes me unhappy.

I don't know your background besides the problems you faced when child, but let me tell you this: you live in the greatest country of the known universe, there is no other part in the entire planet that can give you so many oportunities as America does.

I agree w you, life sucks sometimes and nobody likes that, but just put yourself together and think and do things for yourself to get over it, cause beleave me that is just the way life is.

I really think your problem is perspective, like people who see the half empty glass and the others who see the half full glass, don't pay attention to the negative only, see also the positive aspects, maybe you need to read more or travel a litle to realize how lucky you really are, when you had education in your childhood and didn't have to work from 3 years of age, bare feet, like in mexico or other third world countries, the fact that you had a plate of food on your table always and didn't have to steal it or starve for days to get it, there are so many things that you don't realize about how lucky your already are, that would really make you think different and see life with other perspective.

There is a lot of fun things you can do with your life, learn some music bases and join a band, work helping young people who went through the same as you did maybe in church, make a difference somehow, but don't give up, find what is your passion and use that to make that difference.

Remember: "We live in the greatest country with the best conditions to succeed in the entire world, it's up to you to take advantage of it and make the best out of it!!"

Good luck to you!!

I think you're right, bmlyeryk. And the losers are always better people than the ones who have everything. I guess being a loser builds character.

I think it's a mix of things. Perspective is one thing. The way you look at things can totally change the way you feel about them. You can either see all that's bad or try to always find their good sides (ex.: what your learning and how it can benefit you?)

I find that we spend more time complaining about something we don't like doing then just doing it and getting it over with. Which usualy doesn't take that long to do once you've put your mind to it. It's so much more tiring and depressing to hesitate and not make up your mind about it.

It's true that sometimes in life, you have those moments when you say, "This is not enjoyable. Why am I doing this?" That's when you have to remember the big picture. "I'm doing this not so enjoyable thing (ex.:waiting in line) in order to something else that is very enjoyable (ex.:get into a music concert)" Then it's not so bad because you have a goal that is worth working towards.

Also, nobody is forcing you to be part of the mold. That's the great thing about life you can actually choose what you want to be and how you want to be. The fact that you don't know exactly where to go from here on means you have to take time and think about it. If you do choose to live your life differently and truly seek out happiness, this means you have be open to different opportunities and possibilities. This means you have to think outside of the box, it also means not to be scared to work hard or try new things in order to achieve your dreams. It also means that sometimes you will have to do things you don't like (ex.: facing your fears) in order to get over the things that hold you back from being happy. Yes, that's a choice too.

As for other people being messed up, yes there are lots of messed up people but that doesn't mean you have to be one of them. Let them be. Concentrate on yourself. Get to know yourself, what you are good at, what makes you happy to be alive...is it art? music? dancing? creating? helping others? Try things and see where you feel that you might belong.

As for love, well it's hard to be in a good healthy relationship with someone else if things aren't to bright within ourselves. Loving relationships come once you are ready and willing to have them. Right now you are confused about what you want and where you want your life to lead you and on top of that you have a negative vision of yourself in the future. All this does is isolate you from others and push them away. Get things sorted out for yourself first then you will have the space in your heart to take care of someone else.

Ok, so a spewed a of advice about life...so if I took the time is because believe it or not, I actually care and I actually know what it feels like to have the impression that everything is messed up and that I will never find my way outside of this mess. Guess what? I did find my way, I made my own, I took chances, I fell down, I got back up, I figured it out and made my life in own way, at my own pace. It isn't easy but I'm happy.

Know this: Moments of confusion, sadness and depression will pass. Only you have the power to be happy. Life is long, interesting and beautiful. Bad things exist, learn from them. Failure is an illusion. The only battle lost is the one you've given up.

Sounds to me that you are suffering from a bit of a depression. It seems that your personal life issues are starting to affect your professional life. Its good that you are asking questions about why you're feeling the way you do because in my mind you can't sort out one (professional life) without dealing with the other (your personal life issues). They are linked! You're never too young to have problems/issues. You've pinpointed 2 issues, expressing emotions and love and these are very big issues which all human beings will come across. you don't know what to do. One step to take is maybe is a counsellor not to get advice but so that you can talk through your own issues and hey, come across the answer yourself rather than listening to other people. You know yourself the best. And one little comment about love. You can't love someone else properly unless you love yourself first, unless you know how to love and part of this is being able to express emotions!

U seem veery depressed. um...have you ever tried reading the BIBLE and asking God for what you want? Come on get up and do sumtin wit your life!!! This is U.S.- the land filled with many many opportunites.
Now, I know a man who became successful even without going to colledge!! This man was a Highschool dropout and his lifes messed up. He donsent even have an appropriate english accent and today has three kids to feed! His wife had no job and he was the only one working in the family. ofcourse they had a low income.
Now the wife is a strong believer in god and she prayed everyday for a better life and a good job for her husband!
Her prayer didnt go to waste... few months later her husband got a job where the people pay him 100$ an hour!! Couple weeks ago the wife got a job as well and now the family is happy and satisfied.
THis is their testimony on how god hepled them with their situation. Im sure God can help you with your situation as well. because all you need is A FAITH AS SMALL A MUSTARD SEED and God WILL, WILL WILL help you with your life)

Everyone is destined to suffer eternally. We are all going to suffer miserably forever. You just have to get used to it. I learned to get used to it. There is nothing anybody can do to stop it. Life is messed up, but we can't do anything about it.

I basically fell in love with you reading this. Life just gets me down a lot too and I get extremely unmotivated sometimes that I don't even want to talk to people, do anything. I'm in a better place now, I keep focusing on improving myself as a person instead. I really don't like the mainstream. Sometimes I despise it. It makes people so sheep-ish. When they can be so individualized and amazing in their own ways. Look, not having to love love someone before doesn't mean you missed out. You loved other things. Not going out into space doesn't mean you missed out either. You lived your life in a different way, you experienced things in a different way. You experienced something else, something different. I have to say I've had special moments with 5 guys, and I liked it when it lasted, and I have memories that I like. But that doesn't mean you have to too. You liked different things. And now you're starting to get curious about someone to love. I'm not telling you to look at things in that way, but I'm hoping that you'd realize that. People experience different things at different levels at different times. Most people are concerned with themselves anyway. Don't just be someone that exists. Live too. While it lasts right, while we know it can happen. Never too late. = ) <3

I used to feel exactly the same. Though I wouldn't know what you were going through since I'm only a kid. But when I was a "little" kid, I was slow in the head. My family didn't love me, I had no friends, I didn't know anything about the media and what's "hot", kids bullied me, called me a freak, picked on me, told me I was ugly, and I was a screw up, and my mother had an illness, my dog was killed, my best friend betrayed me, people spread rumors, I was called fat, and etc. My own family would even call me a failure. And I had no feelings, I was stupid, didn't understand anything. The consequences of what I was doing. Anything. But then one day, I was finally brought to tears by my teacher who wanted to help me, maybe it was out of pity but I believed her. Then I decided I wanted to change. I stepped up. Changed myself, changed my habits, got along with my family, became smart, lost weight, gained friends, learned about the "hot"s, and my life became amazing. And now I feel as though I don't want to lose sight of what's right ever again. My lesson here is, don't give up.

YOU'R LIKE ME DON'T NOW WHAT TO DO