How can i get my mom to rethink her relationship?

Okay, so first off I just want to say that I love my mom very much and just want her to be happy. The only problem is her boyfriend. I am not alone in the fact that I absolutely hate him. My entire family as well as friends do. He is a dead beat father...

towards his children, and doesn't have a job. Basically he lives off of my mother and all he does in his spare time is go on his laptop(which my mom bought) and play poker. He is so rude, and manipulative. Eventually I couldn't stand it anymore so I calmly talked to my mom about it. Of course she got mad, saying that I am trying to pick things apart and find things about him to complain about. I am so tired of him not working and being such an jerk to me. Sure, he isn't rude to my mom, which is a good thing, but he is to me and even in front of her and I don't say a word to him. I find it so hard to stand up for myself when my mom is right there. However, I am certainly trying to, and I might just snap on him any day now. She knows I don't like him, and I don't feel comfortable around him at all which I have also told her. Yet, she still stays with him, and just sees him as perfect. He is far from perfect, and I know my mom deserves better than this pig who doesn't have a job and does absolutely nothing. By the way, he hasn't worked ever since they met, which was 3 years ago. I was thinking of having an intervention with my whole family and her, and they agree with it. But with my family living in different places, it is so hard to do it. I can't take much more of this, it isn't healthy for me to feel the way I feel all the time. If anyone has any suggestions on what I can do, please let me know.

Dear aussi4,
Yes, it's normal for you to feel this way especially if this guy is all you say he is. An intervention is kept for someone who has an addiction problem. Your mother has made her decision to keep this guy around and there probably isn't anything you can say or do to change her mind. Your mother may be suffering from low self-esteem. It is your mother who needs the help right now. You are spending all this energy on getting him out you need to spend that energy on getting your mother healthy. She is the one in need.
Sue....good luck

yeah, I know I might waste time being upset. My sisters are always telling me that it isn't fair that I have to go through this. I know she isn't as confident, and she doesn't want to be alone. I feel like the more I might push her to break up with him, the more I push her away from me. I have said that to her before and she said that it isn't true. I know she is healthy, but she definitely has low self esteem, I can tell. If she is with someone like this, then there is definitely an issue with her confidence. Thanks for your input

I also don't know what I can do to help her. I am not the parent, and I am always told that when I try to help with situations. I am 19 years old, but I am still her daughter. As much as I care about her, I don't want to upset her more.