Do you like this song?

My two best friends told me they like this but I dont think is good enough, so I want you to honestly tell me if you like it or it need more work? Sry its so long. haha Thx.

How do I get throu the pain
Stand in and look at the rain
Without crying...

Do you see how miserable I llok
How badly it took
To see my world . . . dying

I want to vanish and go away
Dont want to live another day
With these thoughts in my mind
Im losing control of everything
That I lost . . . behind

Im falling . . . down
And I cant get back up
Im losing control of myself now
And people I loved the most
It's slowly taking over me
Like a disease
And somehow . . .
Im falling . . .

How do I get throu the life
Sit and look at it twice
Without fears
Is it rite to be so depressed
Dont know where to rest
But fall into tears

I need to turn the other way
And walk up and say
The fears in my heart
Im running toward time
But it is already . . . torn apart

Im falling . . . down
And I cant get back up
Im losing control of myself now
And people I loved the most
And it slowly taking over me
Like a disease
And somehow . . .
Im falling . . .

Im trying to hold these screams
Wont let it come out of me
Im uncontrolable so awake
To run away
From my life
That I think I . . . cant breathe

Chorus(x2)

How do I find myself again
To not go throu the pain

Needs some work still, but I think your off to a good start.

I think it needs more work , but it's still really good. Great songs can take days to write...I know I attempt to write :p

I think its good but some of the lyrics need a little work. but its still great

I really hope you don't take this as an insult I just wanted to see what I could do w/ it
your version is much better, but I thought I'd try :P

How do I make it through the darkness
Stop standing in the shadows, find light
Stop crying despite

Do you see the misery I'm in?
To see my world go still No hope of starting over again
I want to vanish, drift away
Dont want to go on another day
With these visions running through my mind
I'm losing the control I really never had
I've left it all behind

Falling down, fast
And I cant catch hold
Im losing to myself
I knew it wouldn't last
It's slowly taking over me
Like a plauge
I can't believe before I couldn't see
I was falling, now I've fell

How do I escape THIS life?
Not life all together
I take a second look
Without any fears
Dont know where to turn
But fall into tears

I need to go the other way
Stand up and say...
This is real
I can't keep running away
Got to do what's right Which is what I feel

Falling down, fast
And I cant catch hold
Im losing to myself
I knew it wouldn't last
It's slowly taking over me
Like a plauge
I can't believe before I couldn't see
I was falling, now I've fell

Im trying to hold back, not scream
Wont let it come out of me
I'm so awake, but still asleep
From my life... Irunaway
I can't breathe it seems

Chorus(x2)

How to I abide? I don't want to hide!

I think it's a very rough copy and could use some work - but that's how all songs start out. Just keep working on it.

thx, 6metal6freak6. the song does look a little bit better.