Do you like my poem?

Here it is:
Upon the time that tulip petals fall,
My spirit shall fall within,
It is time for to unfold my sadness,
For happiness to come bursting forth!
Alas, there is no happiness,
Within the cold depths of my heart.

Without the mind that is...

open,
Without the time that has passed,
Without the help and support,
I won't get my mind back on track.

Slowly I will recover,
My heart will begin to shine.
Only then the blossom that is my heart
Will open wide with relief.
Until then, it shall remain a cold seed,
Buried in the earth,
Waiting for spring.

For a thirteen year old is that an okay poem? Can you give it a rating of one to ten, ten being the highest?
Thanks,
Britz
P.S. I will probably post more poems in the future.

OMG..That was amazing.I love poetry and I think this should be published in a book.I think you should copywright it before someone decides to pass it off as ther own. This is beyond a ten.

What was your inspiration?
I just have to ask b/c it is an awesome poem.

Wow, thanks. Are you sure it's good? I wrote the first verse of this in year five, just after my parents broke up. I finished it this year, in year eight. I have always harboured an inner deepness inside me, and it is released through this poem and countless other poems I have written. I love poetry...

xxembzyxx,
I would have liked constructive criticism, constructive being the key word there, but exactly what pleasure do you find in insulting the depth of a person, depth which you seem not to have? For that is what you are doing. I don't see that there is any pleasure in it.
Brittany.
By the way, I did not appreciate your poem, surprise surprise.
For someone without grammar you make a horrible job of insulting it.

xxembzyxx,
That dosent even rhyme.U really need to live your live and dont worry about theres
Oh ya that was a great poem britz14
10 for me

I don't think it's a bad start, but I certainly wouldn't give it a ten.

I think you could better weave the connection to nature and flowers with the concept of sadness.
It could flow better.

thankyou for your answers, I found them really helpful. By the way, I forgot two lines. It should read, for the last verse:

Slowly I will recover,
My heart will begin to shine,
But until I can truly believe in myself,
Only then the blossom that is my heart,
Will open wide with relief,
Unitl then,
It shall remain a cold seed,
Buried in the earth,
Waiting for spring.

Damn, forgot you could edit.

I love it, it's really nice. keep wrting

realy good keep righting =)

Hey, didn't you wright this in the fith grade. I love it though. Can't wait to you get older. You are a brilliant poet.

Hey, didn't you wright this in the fith grade. I love it though. Can't wait to you get older. You are a brilliant poet.
I wrote the first verse of it in the fifth grade

its a pretty good poem but its just not very creative. Honestly poems like this about sadness and depression and all that stuff are a dime a dozen these days, you really have talent but you should try focusing it on something different. Write about something that affects the world and not just yourself, if you write about something that you think is wrong in the world and its something you feel passionate about you can open a lot of peoples eyes.

OMG...that was amazing!!! KEEP ON WRITTING!!!

No. joke.

good

What about this poem:The lava flows from the tree,and makes it's way down stream. With all the children dying, all the mothers screaming.Is this true, or just another dream. The tupips began to bleed, the roses start to heal.But for the angels, another tasty meal.I just thought of that just then, at the top of my head.Blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah, I'm going to bed. LOL.

It was a really cute poem, felt very warm and lighthearted.

Its to plain. Make it like a secert that only you understand. When someone reads it they go wow I never thought of it like that. Or I've never heard it said that way. but your doing well. I used to write like that. It just takes some time to work out the kinks. keep writing ..never give up. Do what you love.