Do you like my poem?

Life is a prison,
Oh God let me out.
No one to listen,
To hear when you shout.
Climb the walls of insanity,
Ride the waves of despair.
If you fall it don't matter,
There's no one to care.
Used to wish for a window,
To see birds, trees and sky,
But you're better without one -
Stops you aiming too high.
Watching freedom is painful,
For those locked away.
Seeing joy, love and happiness,
Another price that you pay.
Strong is good, weak is bad.
Be it false, be it true.
Your mind makes the choice,
And enforces it too.
Cell walls built by society,
with rules to adhere.
If you breach the acceptable,
you had better beware.
Hide the pain, carry on,
Routine is the key.
Don't let on that you're not,
what you're pretending to be.
Lock it all up inside you,
How badly that bodes.
Look out for that one day,
when it all just explodes.
Leaving naught but a shell,
Base functionality too.
But killing all else,
that was uniquely you.
So how do you grow,
with a time bomb inside?
Or how to defuse it,
without destroying its ride?

Ah, very good meter and rhyme, however I think it's better without the 'you can't' in the end. The rest is absolutely beautiful! It's just leaving the audience with a question is so much more powerful. I was like O___O *clap clap clap*

that was amazing

I do like it. Quite dark( I like that). Maybe a little more allusion to detail ratio to put it on the next level.

Keep it up,
Duke

thank you for your advice yeah I didnt like the 'you can't ' at the end neather all that much.

ah now it's perfect! XD

yep yep lol I edited it

See, now this isn't my kind of thing at all. It's just too cliche for my tastes, and isn't terse enough.

I really like it!!! Very well done

thanks

I like it =]