Developing an eating disorder, how to stop it?

I'm about to turn 15 in three months, I'm about 5 foot 4 and weight 108. When I look in the mirror I see an ugly, pathetic, weak, fat girl who means nothing to anybody and I feel horribly not in control of my life. Since last summer I have become...

obsessed with the amount of calories and fat in the food I eat. I use to weight 120 before summer, but I began running every day, that's when I dropped to 108 by the end of the summer. I liked how I looked, and I wanted to be even thinner. To me being thin and beautiful is a way to be noticed. I suffer from extreme anxiety attacks and am extremely shy, I cannot speak to anyone without almost crying from the nervousness. So naturally, I wanted to have friends. I wanted people to notice me and talk to me. The way I look at food is getting progressively worse. I cry myself to sleep some days wondering if I've gained a pound. I am tired of hating myself, and I'm worried I am going to drive myself to start throwing up my meals I consume. I am terrified of the thought of throwing up, but I may have to do it.. I just can't handle it anymore. Please someone help me, this is not me wanting attention or for people to feel sorry for me. I just need help and I don't know how to get it..

Listen you need to know you can really mess itself up by doing that.,. What you need to do is start by trying to be a lil more outgoing... It won't matter what you look like to the people who will truely matter an be your friend. An if people don't like the way you look then screw them! Udont want shallow people like that in your life so don't even worry bout them. And please eat! Ull get sick an have problems if you go starving and throwing up just excercise regularly an don't eat a lot of sugar you'll be ok just pick a healthy lifestyle an you'll loose the weight safely and more effectively. Also liftin weights will help give definition an burn fat BUT don't start out heavy just take your time an start out where it's right for u. Also do things to help your appearance ! hair an nails or whiten teethif necessary the little things will make you feel better an people will seriously notice it. Oh an also take a closer look at the clothing you wear an how you wear it

You need to seek help immediately. Tell the nurses scheduling your appointment it is an immediate problem and you need in within the week!!
This will not go away on its own. you are very thin for your height. I am 5'1 and weigh 107 and still a little thin.
you need to talk to your parents and tell them what you r doing and that you want help!! Please talk them as soon as you finish reading this!!!
Please let me know that you talked to them! Contact me any time if you need to talk to someone!!

A lot of people will try to tell you that being skinny / pretty / popular isn't what you need or want or actually any good at all. That is not true. Being skinny can be a good thing if you are healthy. Being pretty can be good as long as its on the inside as well as on the outside. Being popular can be good as well as long as you have close friends as well and not just people that you can only have a good time with. I myself have went on extreme diets and once went to the point of trying to be bulimic to get my weight down. I was 15 and weighed about 270 pounds. I wanted to lose weight so bad I was willing to stick my finger down my throat to throw up the carbs I just ate that messed up my diet. I only did that once and never have again because I realized that I was never gonna measure up to the image I was holding up to myself when I looked in the mirror. I decided to aim do be more healthy rather than skinny. Worked on how many crunches I could do to get my abs tighter and how many blocks I could run so I wouldn't get winded so easily. While I was doing that I still ate what I wanted but did keep in mind how much it was. I lost about 30 pounds in a month (I had a lot of weight to lose). I kept losing weight for a while but eventually slacked off. If you aim to be healthy rather than skinny losing weight will be a lot less stressful (and better for your body).

About being shy I don't know what to tell you. If you can let one person in and get that person close to you maybe that person can help open you up ... But I don' t know. Please know when you need help and don't be one of those chicks that are TOO skiny ... that can be a turn off too.