Daddy's little girl

I have a BIG problem. I found out that my dad has been cheating on my mom with a much, much younger woman, she’s 28. Dude, I’m 25 and my dad is 62. Once I confirmed his affairs I told my mom. My mom asked my dad for a divorce and not only that but I...

yelled and screamed at my dad for the first time ever in my life. TO the point that he started to cry, I feel like my mom put me and my sister against my dad and now he doesn’t talk to us. He says that he is very hurt that we (my sister and I) talked to him like he was nothing... I even went as far as calling him names, really bad names. My heart is breaking to know that my dad is upset at me. I have always been a daddy’s little girl, but now I am afraid that he might not love me anymore. Please someone give me good advice. I miss my daddy.

Problemchild,
This may seem harsh, but at least read it through, please.
Swallow your pride. Absolutely.
You are not going to like this, but in my opinion, YOU were wrong to go to your Mother.
You are a grown adult. Act it. You should have talked to your Dad.

Now it has blown sky high. Marriage - gone. Your relationship with your Dad - fractured. Relationship with your Mom - rocky because you will soon be resenting your Mom, ...I feel like my mom put me and my sister against my dad...

I think you need to see a therapist to help you handle your rage and disappointment with your parents, and bring your Dad into the process with your therapist.

DO NOT cooperate with your Mom on ostracizing your Dad. Tell her that you despise the damage to their marriage, but that you still love your Dad. You still love them both. She may try emotional blackmail. (If you loved me you wouldn't talk to him.) Be prepared. You know how mad you were - well she will be worse.
I do hope this works out so that in the end you and your sister can have a descent relationship with both parents.

Good Luck!!

You should just swallow any pride apologize for the things that you have said. Sure, you were angry probably most of the name callings came from anger.. Saying sorry is the only thing you can really do. Just explain yourself.. You could have definitely handled it without all the name calling..

Good luck.

the same thing happend to me I found out my dad was cheating on my mom and I told me sister and now he hardley talks to me the onley time he talk to me is to yell at me my mom had moved out and she just moved back in after 8 month and he is trying tto be nice but she and he are still going through a rough time all I can say is just talk to him tell him what he did was wrong and that you were up set but you still love him

The same thing has happened to me. Only my dad cheated on my mom with 2 women! Dont get me wrong. I was SO mad. I never told my dad how I felt. But anyways...
I think you need to sit down w/ your dad tell him youre sorry. You've got every right to be mad at him though. Tell him it mad you mad. Sad. Whatever else. Tell him you do love him you always will love him.
Ah, I'm tearing up as I type this, lol.

I agree with conman

I think bimjob has given some of the best advice I've seen on this website. He said what I would have tried to say if it hadn't already been said.

Agreed.

Personally I don't think you did anything wrong!!! If my husband was cheating on me and my kids found out and DIDN'T tell me I would be pissed off at them.

This isn't about pride it's about the fact that YOUR DAD DID SOMETHING WRONG, NOT YOU. Your dad destroyed your family, not you. Your dad cheated on his wife, not you. You didn't tell him to do it so why should you feel bad about it? You said some things while you were hurt (who doesn't) and a grown mature person would understand that and forgive you.

Your dad messed up, when he cheated on your mom he basically threw his family away. He told you all with his actions that his young bimbo is more important than his family. Men (or women) that cheat do so for purely selfish reasons. When they are caught they then blame everyone else or become mad at the people who are hurt by their actions. It's purely defensive and they normally do it so they don't have to feel as guilty by what their actions have caused.

Just tell him that you're sorry for the names that you called him. Explain how you're still hurt but you would still like a relationship with him. You don't have to agree with what he did to still be his little girl.

Also you need to tell your mom that you still want a relationship with your father, because after all he is your dad. She will probably be hurt and angry. Just explain that while you still feel betrayed by your dad that you still don't want to lose him. Eventually she will understand.

Good luck

tell him your sorry and that if you could pay 1 trillion dollars (if you had that) you woiuld go back in time so that that never happened, ask him why he cheated on your mom, then tell him that he was wrong but you still love him no matter what NO MATTER WHAT.

First thing, is. If your mom did, or didnt forgive him.
You have to also.. you have to tell him that your sorrry for calling him names, and yelling at him, even if you might not mean it yet.

But someday your dad won't be there, and you'll regret it if you don't do it soon.
Tell him how much he hurt you, and let him know that it hurt more than anything.

Meet with him out to lunch, one of his old favorites, and discuss what happened. Tell him you still love him, and that you hope he still loves you.

hope this works ; (