Cousins..in love?

Okay..I'm thirteen years old and I have very strong feelings for my 17 year old cousin. Yes, he's my first cousin, and I know a lot of people will say it's "wrong" but I really can't help these feelings. We didn't see, nor talk to each other for at least 6 years, or so, and the first day we hung out we instantly clicked. I don't know if I have these "feelings", as I put it, because he's my family, or if I actually am falling for him. ALso don't tell me I'm too young to know what love is, because I'm not. I know how I feel and you don't.
My heart doesn't just revolve around one person if it wasn't more than a simple "crush," or whatever you guys say. So, please, don't say anything like that. And another thing,
Don't tell me to focus on someone else, I can't do that. I've tried, and it don't work.

Please don't be rude to me about this, I'm just very confused and need some advice.

What do I do?! Do I tell him about this, or not.

Because if I don't tell him, maybe I'm losing out on something, but if I do tell him I could lose him.

I don't know what to do. Please help.

THanks.

Hmm.. To tell a 17 year old male that a 13 year old female is in love with him, that would be rare for the male to agree with that feeling.

I don't 100% think incest is wrong, my 10th grade teacher's parents were cousins and she was very normal and a lot of students liked her. These days guys at those ages of 17 or whatever tend to look for slightly older or younger females, maybe you should tell him so you don't stress yourself out, but make sure he keeps it a secret, a lot of parents HATE incest with cousins because that means their brother/sister is even more family then they may want to be. Be careful about this, he's much older than you, and you seem like a smart girl, so you should think about it for a while. I would say tell him when you got him alone and he can keep a secret very well. Good luck.

- Gothik

I do not think you should tell him anything becos your right you will risk losing him. Fair enough you have feelings for him, but at the end of the day he is your cousin, you just need to give yourself time and ride it out. eventually these feelings will go, you are young, so give yourself some time and it will go away. He is a 17 yr old boy, he to ,may be a lil more mature than you, but he is still a baby like yourself, he will have no idea how to handle something like this so you will only make his life very complicated, so to save everyone drama id say keep it to yourself.

Actually there is a wide variety of people out there married to their first cousins..I guess people can't help who they fall in love with!!

I think your love is not bad, and nobody wants to be rude to you because of it. But I am not sure about that a 17 yo boy will fall for a 13 yo girl. Yes, you may tell him about your feelings but do not expect the same anwer. In case he requites your love it is better if you two keep it in secret, at least for 2 years.

Being cousins makes things difficult. But, lay out the facts.
You are 13, you have years to find someone better who is more amazing.
Can you honestly see yourself marrying him?
You are blood related.
How would your family or him react to this?
He is nearly an adult, you are barely a teenager.
You aren't doing anything wrong! But this is not a relationship worth pursuing.
Tell someone you know and trust and get their opinion as well.

Good Luck Sweetie

Hi. I know exactly how you feel I'm 14 and I'm head over heels in love with my 18 year old first cousin and we hadnt seen each other for eight years so we just clicked.I've been looking for someone who knows how I feel and I dont know what to do either but maybe we can help each other and come witha solution...

Sandie

well I liked one of my cousin and I had to stop but I dont see any thing wrong wit what I was going through but it is wrong for your first cuzz I liked my 4th cuzz

Well I dont think we can help who we fall in love wit. I mean to tell you the truth when I was about 11 I liked my cousin 2. But then I seen he was my cousin and yes Im going to find a guy I like that isnt my cousin. But maybe it is different for you. I dunno really. Im just prtty sure you will find a guy you like that isnt your cousin cause for all you know you could find a guy that is just like your cousin that you might like even more.

This might be too late, but...I'm 25 and my cousin (who is a few days older) and I fell in love....madly in love, and we just stopped talking maybe 2 days ago. We went out for 4 months, attempted to breakup 4 times. I was willing to turn my back on everyone for her. I love her so much, and still do. However, my mom freaked out when she found out and suggested to me that she would kill herself if our (1st) cousin relationship would never stop. Knowing that my mom was in distress tore me apart. My x-cousin-girlfriend and I had kept things secret for about 3 months, until my mom found a love letter in my room. So we came out of the closet about it. Note, I haven't seen my cousin for 15+ years until last DEC, and when we finally reunited, we were close friends, and when on vacation one time, we just "experimented" and just got hooked. I can easily say, after years of dating, that she has been the perfect girlfriend, in all way, except genetically. MY ADVICE: if you are serious about this, then be prepared to turn your back on everybody, on society, your friends, your family, and make sure that he (cousin) does the same. Only few people can truly fight the strong currents of society and be successful--but fight will be very difficult. Now that we have broken up, I feel excommunicated from friends and family, and I cry everyday in isolation, for if my secret was to come out, more that it has already, then I would be totally excommunicated from society. Make sure you know what your doing.

Feelings are fine, relationships get a little weird but not out of the ordinary between cousins. Children, however, can be a problem. The reason why it is such a taboo for first cousins or immediate family members to have relationships is because any children they might have are at an extremely high risk for blood disorders, mental disabilities, and other genetic weirdness. So you can really never have children without a world that will attach a stigma to the children or risk having a child that might not be able to enjoy life like its parents. You are 13 and maybe one day you will want kids of your own. This relationship would be a timebomb for those expectations. Not to mention the changes you will go through in the next 5+ years...... Don't jump into this without weighing all of the risks first.

I know EXACTLY how you feel! I also like my cousin!! Although, I just met him for the first time in eight years a few months ago! But he also has these feelings towards me. I know it is weird but you cant help who you really LIKE OR HAVE STRONG FEELINGS FOR.

hi I think its saz because destiny will put you 2gether if its true tell him neva know he feels the same way 2 and 13,17 not so bad try your best luck,God bless

Well, I'm 16 and I actually have feelings for two of my cousins. One of em is my 1st cousin and he's 19, the other one is a step cousin and he's 16. I've never done anything with my step cousin, but I have fooled around a few times with my real cousin. I am planning on telling my step cousin how I feel, because I really like him. Whatever you decide make sure its your final decision, because your only 13 and still have time to decide, but good luck!

I know how you feel. I am 13 and in love with my 15 year old cousin. he doenst know I love him but I can never get him off of my mind. just like you. I havent told him I love him, I want to but I know it would just be weird because I know he doesnt love me. I would just suggest telling him that he means a lot to you, not that you LOVE him but that you like him a lot and he means more than a cousin to you.

Everyone has an opinion. Marrying your cousin in many countries and 26 states in usa is LEGAL. It is also accepted in the Christian church so the guy that say's you need Jesus???I'm not sure what his point is. You are awfuly young so I certainly wouldn't act on your feelings. I was in love with my cousin when I was 16, he was 18. I never said a word to him just a good relationship. I lived in one province in Canada, him in another. Now we are iin our 40's have a healthy child together and are getting married next month and very happy. Our family was a little put off at first but once they learned the facts, they came around. Good luck.

ok listen .. im 14.. I turned 14 in july.. my cousin is 16 soon to be 17. I went for vacations this summer to where he is. we hung out EVERY SINGLE DAY. and I realized I liked him. and well I told him. And he said he felt the same way so we started going out (secretly ofcourse). .. I LOVE HIM a lot and I know pplsz think itsz wrong... but I KNOW how you feel. and you could consider this my first love. well the point is im back where I live came back 2 weeks ago. the day that I was packing he was at my house and he was crying saying that he was going to miss me a lot and that he really loved me.. and now I know its true im still with him.. we talk on the internet and on the phone.. You could say were a pretty good couple.. and I miss him a lot so listen chances are that YOUR COUSIN FEELS THE SAME ABOUT U,.. you just have to b brave enough and tell him who knows you and your cusz could be as happy as I am wiif ma hubby (cousin).. and all you hataz,, you DO NOT know what its like so if you havent been through this DONT TALK.. ok..
soo yup sweetie I know what your going through,

According from the many recent researches and with many different supports from ABC news, cnn, nytime, washingtonpost news, cousin's marriage does not have a significant relation to birth defect. It only increase about 2-3% of defects. so another words, you still have about 93%of chance in having a healthy child (including 3-4% for regualr birth defect problems). Plus, believe it or not, 20% of the world's marriage are cousins marriage, and these numbers are up to date, 200,000 couples in USA gets marry every year.

The bible commended cousins to get marry, One of the richest man alive, Li Ka Shing, rank number 9 in the whole world, worth about $19billion dollars married his first cousin, now both of his sons are billionaires, what is wrong with cousin marriage then?

The most important thing is, make sure you are both in Love. If you are both deeply in Love, to hell with the world. Love is Love~ Good luck

I understand I used to have the same problem ... actually in my culture its normal for cousins to marry even though nowadays some think its outdated. Anyways I had a huge crush on my cousin while I was visiting my country but got over him when I left. I am not telling you to get over him or anything and I'm not telling you to go for it ... just do what you feel is right in your heart. I do know people that are married to their cousins and even have kids so it can works out sometime. I don't know where you're from or if in your culture marrying your cousin is accepted so I don't know how your parents or other family members would react. The most important question is ... does he feel the same way? If he feels the same way for you and you know it then go for it ... but remember you are only 13 and you are still young. Maybe you should just wait it out till youre both older. You're too young to be in a relationship...sorry thats just my opinion ... who has a real relationship at that age? Remember the age difference... when you're 14 he'll be 18 and thats illegal ... so my best advice is to just wait you still have lots of time ... who knows maybe you'll end up together or maybe you'll find someone you like even better ... just dont be in any kind of rush or anything I hope it works out for the best! And don't care what people think it only matters what you think! Good luck!

I totally understand!!
I went through the same thing with my older cousin. The thing is I never actually told him that I did like him and still do, but its kinda hard to hide if you like someone so he got the point after awhile and he may not feel the same way but he is still really nice to me. Basically its any regular crush and if you think he has the same fellings don't tell him necessarily but maybe act like you like him a little more. If he seems interested than see where it goes if he's not than at least you can still be awesome friends.

I think that you should tell him how you feel because I was in the same situation and we let eachother know about our feelings and it worked out well...we really do love eachother

I am a guy, and I'm so surprised to know that I'm not the only one, that has fallen in love with my cousin. Well, I'm 15 and she's 13, but I know we're cousins so I can't tell her that I'm in love with her because I know it would not work out for the both of us. I have a feeling that she to has fallen for me but just trying to supress that feeling just because we're cousins. Anyway I'm a Nigerian and my culture, doesn't permit such. So therefore, I have resigned myself to loving her.
I'll advice you to do the same. That's just the way it is LOL