Confused

I am 35 years old and my husband is 36. We have been married for 12 years.My husband does not seem very intrested in sex anymore. I have two friends coming to visit this week one who is 26 and one 22. They are both very beautiful.They have agreed to have sexual relations with my husband which was my idea. I love him more than the air I breathe and would do anything to make him happy. I am so afraid that he is going to cheat on me and eventually leave me. I would die if I lost him. In my mind if I do this for him he is less likely to do it behind my back and less likely to leave. My concearn on the otherhand is that this will just open up a whole new world for him and make him want to cheat more. I want to make him happy more than anything. Since I told him they were coming and what the intensions were he seems to be more sexual towards me and I don't want this to change. I love being close to him. I feel crazy even setting something like this up, but my biggest fear in the world is losing him. What do I do? I feel like doing this will make him realize how much I love him and he will love me and want me more. Am I doing the right thing? Is this going to make him love me more or just want more? Please help!! Thanks for your advice.

Wow.....I feel for you. What a difficult position to be in. Since I don't know all the little everyday details of your relationship, I can only give advice based on what I see on this page.
I think it is a fine line that you are starting to tightrope walk on. How do you think you will feel after he has had sex with even one of your younger friends? Will jealousy drive you insane? Or can you separate his sex from love? Because if you go down this road....he's going to want more. For sure. I have some friends that do the 'open relationship' thing and it seems to work for them SO FAR, but only because they are both comfortable with it, are both secure in their own self-esteem, and they communicate openly about all of it. I don't know how long this will work for them, though, and I don't know many couples at all that this works for. And it doesn't sound to me that this is something that turns you on either, it sounds more like an act of desperation.

Have you talked to him (away from the bedroom) about your differing sexual drives lately? It's important to communicate about this and about what the causes may be. If the sexual drive is different from earlier on in the relationship, then this is usually a symptom of other issues....whether they may be physical, emotional, etc......I woke up to the problems in my relationship with my husband when his sexual interest in me went way down. It sucks, and it makes you feel invisible, unsexy, unwomanly....is this how you may be feeling lately? Not very good for the self-esteem. Is it possible that you are going down the same road that I went, and have constantly put your feelings/desires/differences under the carpet to please your husband so that you wouldn't have to have conflict/arguments about it? If this is the case, please remember that it's not all about him.....you are an equal partner in this relationship, and should be treated as such......but he can't fill your needs if he doesn't know that he isn't already filling them. And you talk about being afraid of losing him.....shouldn't he be afraid of losing you, too?

Get your dignity back, do more stuff for yourself, COMMUNICATE with him, ask more of him.....and you will become again more of what he fell in love with in the first place.....and then the sex will come back.

If you want to do some self-healing, I highly recommend the book 'Feeling Good' by Dr. David D. Burns (to help you build your self-esteem back up). And for relationhsip-building, there is 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'. These books changed my life for the better, and I'm still a work-in-progress.

Its a very bad idea that you have your husband be sexually active with other women. Are you not afraid that he might even fall in love with one of them? Definately he might find it pleasing to have one of those good babes to be HIS for the rest of his life. WATCHOUT, my dear I don't agree with that idea.

Try to talk to your husband. Your are both growing up and your sexual desire changes all the way. Tell him that you love him very much and you should try by all means to entice your sexual life TOGETHER......... IT WILL WORK..... Taking of jealousy, believe it will come and you will bring more problems in your affair.

you are all screwed up and he should leave you for such a stupid idea