Confused

basically im still in love with the girl that broke my heart.
she cheated on me and I've been mad for so long I hated her for so long
I still do hate her for doing what she did but I cant change that I still love her
I've been thinking about her...

nonstop the past few weeks and its driving me insane
we dont talk
we dont see eachother
we try to avoid eachother
but I've been worried about a possible life threatening illness and its cheesy but I dont want to have regrets with her or any of my friends and family. or with myself so I've been wondering about maybe trying to apologize to her for being such an immature dick about everything and that I still want her in my life.
but the thing is I dont know if I CAN handle her being in my life
but I know that its hard that shes not
basically I just need to know weather apologizing and having her a part of my life again is a good or bad idea

apologizing for you being a dick might make things better.. I had a similar situation with my ex and im still in love with him and its hard but we are trying to be friends and its hard but its all worth it in the end cause I'd rather have him in my life as a friend than nothing at all.. good luck!!

Bad idea!!!Very bad idea!She could cheat on you again.You're still in the love stage.Been there,done that.I know you reallly love her,you don't.You just don't want to let her go,that's all.Totally nornal.Don't worry about it.But if it seems like she likes you back,then go after it.

im not saying you should apoligize,
she cheated on you.
but try and talk it out- your right, you never know what tomorrow will be bring..
it's always a good decision to try to make everything right..
I know exactly how you feel, just talk to her, that's all you can do.