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I think you have to want to
(im not saying you dont want to or anything, dont take this the wrong way)
but I have a close friend who has suffered from deppression, and the thing that made her better, was realizing that it takes more effort to be upset, than it does to be happy. she realized that the things she was depressed about, werent in her control, and the thinggs that were in her control, she fixed them.,
you also need to know that there is someone ther for you to talk...she was lucky enough to have friends and family who were there for her.
im not sure if you have family or close enough friends to talk to, on acount of I dont know you, but, if you need anyone to talk to, im only a few keyboard clicks away.
sometimes it is easier to talk to someone you dont know in person, they cant judge you based on anything, unless you let them

When I was 7 my mother got manic depression and I can tell you that YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT! It was 2 months without her in a an apartment with my brother and my dad while she was in hospital getting help. Even though it was the longest 2 months of my life my mother came back they way she had always been before the incident and I hope this gives you hope to get through this. Talking always helps, and don't be afraid to trust someone no matter how hard it may seem.
Answer this Question: "Can you grow out of..."
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Depression, ad it for four years and I was wonderin if I could ever row out of it