Can i go far as a poet/songrwriter?

Do you like my work? Do you think I can make it as a songwriter/poet? Please let me know. We are family...

TO THE ONE LOVE OF MY LIFE

For your support so relentless
And your patience endless
For your undeserved appreciation
And the ceaseless...

attention

Only one thing can explain
Why you took away my pain
Why you walked me in the rain
And not a pinch expecting to gain

In you I see it- God’s love
Peace of mind, my white dove
Possibly, I cannot ever say it
Your kindness nothing can beat

Thanks for making my life
Looking after me like my wife
Now promise you’ll be here
That you’ll ever be near

Not much can I do in return
But the desire in my heart burns
To tell you I appreciate you
That I’m grateful too

If I no longer have my breath
And you have to buy me a wreath
I’ll be smiling across the river
Thinking of my best friend ever.

I am a Poet/Songwriter and all I have to give and all I have to say about this is that your rythm is horrible. Unless you drag out the words this couldnt be read aloud. Count the syllables in your head. Count 1-2-3-4 to the rhythm you want. This song is 123 123 123 123 123 when it should sound more like 1..2..3..4. Most poems are like this as well.

Dear Elinthial,
Your comments are very encouraging. You must be a descendant of Oscar Wilde.

i'm sorry but this peom wasn't very good, not every word has to rhyime, i'm not saying don't keep trying but just work on it for a min.