Back and forth between homes.

I'm going to cut this story short.
My mom was messed up, I lived with grandma till I was 13 than moved to moms. Been there about a year and a half and she's falling into her old ways. I am closer to her boyfriend than I am her. I never talk to her. I've...

tried counceling, friends, family, school people, therapy. Nothing works. I dont know how to live with her, she's always angry and hyped up on pain meds. Everytime we fight I cut because I love her too much to fight back and last time I fought back she pushed me through a door and it was just a disaster. Anyway. I was on some antidepressants but stopped taking them 3 weeks ago. Now when I fight with my mom I cut again but I'm doing it a lot deeper. Now when I cut it bleeds for an hour or two and it's getting to be a serious problem. I thought I cut too deep the other night and almost went to the hospital.
So. I feel like I want to move back to grandmas to be closer to my friends and family that loves me, and awat from my mom. I love my mom but I need to love her from a distance. But theres a catch, my mom is probably going to die. She has horrible health and is constantly sick and medicated. And I dont want my family to resent me for leaving her at a time like this. But I dont know what to do. Do I pick my mom over myself and stay with her and keep cutting and everything. Or do I move back to grandmas and stop cutting anf fighting with her?

You need to move out for your own sake...your mother is old enough to take care of your self. Being in a physically abusive setting is not what a happy life is about, so move if at all possible.

Your mothers' illness is not your fault so don't feel quilty for leaving and taking care
of yourself as she not taking care of you...

well im srry... I cant say that I know what it is like to have a sick mom and that is hyped upon meds all the time...but I do know what it is like to be constinly fighting with your mom kuz I do all the time but and it used to be so bad that I would cut myself just so that she would stop arguin with me...but thats beside the point... cutting is not the answer I cut myself down the arm and 2 deep one time and I ended up in the hospital for 3 days...my advice is that if you really love your mom then stay with her ... but find a place that you feel safe and can think just incase if it gets to overwhelming for you and you think that you need to cut yourself .

good luck
hope I helped =-)

to set the record straight she doesn't like beat me. jsyk!

I think you should move right back to your grandmother's house where you won't be cutting or always fighting with your mom.
Your mother needs to stop fighting with you but with the medicine she's taking, that causes allot of problems. You need to move out for your safety and well-being. You'll always love your mother but, you can love your mother from a distance. That includes loving her without fighting, and cutting yourself.
I know when I was living with my parents, my mother was very abusive toward me but I never thought about cutting myself until I turned 15 or 16. I was very suicidal when I lived with my parents since I was always fighting with my mother and one of my sisters. Your mother and mine have similarities to which both take medicines because of their health. And they each fight. Only difference, my mother is married so she can rely on my father. I know what its like to be abused verbally and physically since I've been through allot myself.
I never though could cut myself for I was afraid my family would find out so I stuck with shooting, or taking an overdose on medicine. Now that I live on my own, I've been going through counseling for problems from the past. I love my parents but I won't forget what they've done. You do what's right for you and if I were you, I'd move right back in with your grandmother that way you'll be around those who love you and won't hurt you.
I wish you the best of luck! And please! don't cut yourself.