Am i in love with another girl?

For many years now I've been pretending to be this person that I'm not, and all of a sudden I meet this amazing girl that has (unintentionally) taught me to be myself.
For so long now I've been angry at myself for being unhappy and feeling lonely and...

not being one of those 'preppy' happy girls and so have hidden the way that I feel. I also enjoy listening to heavy metal and punk rock, but was too ashamed to tell any of my friends. I thought that putting on a smile and faking a laugh every now and then was far better than being alone.

But all of a sudden everything changed when I met her and I so admire her openness with the way she feels and her music. We talk a lot, but never in school. She has her friends and I have mine. Occassionally I talk to her but she usually puts on this b*** act that makes me hate myself for being attracted to her.

I have never been attracted to another girl and before her I have always thought of it as impossible. I thought that I could never have feelings like that for another girl. Right now I am just so confused. I'm not sure whether I should embrace my feelings for her or do my best to get over her. I think that she makes me a better and truer person, thinking about her gives me such determination and makes me feel that I can do almost anything if I think about her. I stay up late at night wanting to be with her, only eventually giving in to sleep so that I can dream about being with her. She makes me smile and cry at the same time. I find it hard not to stare at her during class. The feeling that I get if our eyes ever meet is so intense and addictive. It's as if I can see her soul pouring out and she can see mine and we are the only two people on earth.

However, I am only fourteen years old. From what I can tell from other discussions on this site is that people around my age tend to think that they are in love but it turns out to be just a crush. But how can I feel this way about someone for it to just be a crush?

I really do need advice. I don't know how I feel about her, I don't know if I should do anything about it, I don't know if this means that I'm into girls. It doesn't feel like I am a lesbian because she is one girl and I still find certain boys hot. Yet she is everything. Perhaps she is just an exception, the only one. Oh I don't know. I'm tired of being confused. I'm not sure if this is just a phase or something. But if this isn't love then it's by far the closest I've ever been. Maybe being attracted to her isn't such a bad thing and I should act upon it. But then there's the problem whether she likes me back or not..I would like to think that she does, but if she is so open with her other feelings then why wouldn't she be open about this?

First off, I want you to know that everything you're experiencing is normal. I actually went through that kind of stuff around the same age.
Sometimes, no matter how open someone is, it's hard to spill out the personal feelings when they are more intimate, especially to the actual PERSON.
Just because you feel attracted to her, doesnt mean your a lesbian. It doesnt mean you have to be anything really. If you decide to give into these feelings and come to terms that you DO actually like her, than I would talk to her about it, at some point when you're ready at least.
But then again you've had this other you inside for a long time, and you've met someone who may remind you or make you think of the person you may want to be but are to scared to let show because of the people you are constantly surrounded by.
You admire her, and love her presence and sometimes that can be confusing.
But even if you come to terms with the fact that you actually do have feelings for, and that you do actually like girls, understand that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that at all. Let yourself explore and understand yourself life, thats what the next following years of your life will be most about. Growing and understanding.
I really hope it all turns out well for you in the end =)

PeaceLove