Am i clingy or just too considerate?

Ok, well, the love of my life and I have been 2gether for over a year now as I said before I love him so much, he's my world. Anyway on Saturday, a huge party was outside my place I didn't go because I was helping my friend with her homework. It was an...

outside party and it started to rain I was worried because where I live is not really a bed of roses. But anyway everybody scattered because of the rain so I went outside and was asking around, u know, if anybody saw him. It was in vain because nobody had seen him. I was worried, what's wrong with that? he's my baby, I love him with ever fiber in my body I would if something happened to him. Anyway when I came inside to resume helping my friend she said I'm always up in *Adrian's business and I should give him some space. Is it so bad that I like to check up on my boyfriend 24/7s just to c if he's ok, because I do I call him everyday, sometimes just to ask if he's ok because I don't want him to be uncomfortable in anyway, She says I'm way too clingy because when ever *Adrian's out I always call and ask where are you, what are you doing there, who are you with and are you ok??? She basically says that I'm a pest. I love my boyfriend so much, if I could spend every second of the day with him I would but I can't. He likes to go out a lot, and when he's out I do just call to see if he's ok, is that so wrong?? Anyway I was kinda upset ( I know no man likes to have their girl callin and checkin up on them when they're out with friends) but I can't help it, I worry a lot. Anyway I called him and asked him if he thought I was always up in business his response was not really and I asked him if he wanted some space but my battery went dead so I guess we'll have to continue that convo 2morrow. So am I clingy?? There's a lot more but I can't write anymore I'm tired, Am I always up in his business? Should I give him some space?? Quick answers would be much appreciated

Ok, I know that you have been with him for over a year now, but I think you have the wrong idea of what love really is. See if any of these signs fit you
*Signs You Are Infatuated* :
~You are extremely insecure~
It is one thing for you to wish him well and do your best to ensure that he stays out of harm's way, it is quite another for you to become worried every time he sees female friends, of goes out with female friends.

~Your life revolves around his~
I know you want to see him, but keep in mind that he needs his own space, and feeling claustrophobic is not healthy for any long-term relationship. So give him some breathing room and make him want to see you.

~You boss him around~
You are a borderline nut if you think that telling him what to do will get you anywhere besides home alone.

~You need to know everything~
If you find yourself playing twenty questions with him and giving him the third degree, then you may be on the verge of irritating the living daylights out of him.

~You distrust his every word~
Relationships are all about compromise, no doubt. But compromising is one thing and selling out is another. If you realize that your old firends are just that -- old memories -- and your old hobbies are a thing of the past even though you still have those interests, then maybe you have let your mind impair your judgment a tad too much.

~You would die if he left you~
Stop it right there and drop whatever you are doing, now! No man is ever worth dying for. Hell, I am not even sure if any man alone is even worth living for. All jokes aside, you are no longer in junior high and life is a revolving door of men. If one leaves, another one is itching to take his place.

~You call him way too often!~
What constitutes too often depends on a number of things. But if you feel that your calls are becoming irritating, that you cannot get anything else done, or that your finger is stuck to his speed dial button, then you need to get a grip and focus on other aspects of your life.

As you can see, these are just some signs that your infatuation with your boyfriend is bordering on obsession. And the ultimate thing to remember is that yes, flattery is nice, but love is meant to be healthy, and these 10 signs are quite the opposite.

So what about infatuation? That’s when you think of someone all the time, you go out of your way to be around him/her, and you begin to center your priorities around him/her as well.

I remember you posting a question about your boyrfriend using you as his punching bag. I think it was deleted for a reason.
You and him are NO way in a loving, healthy relationship by any means.
*Learn to trust yourself*
Start feeling secure enough with yourself so that you're not so clingy, needy, controlling and demanding.

I find it odd that you're 'clingy' with a boyfriend that beats you up... -___-

Nothing you said up there applies to me believe me, and you don't know me or my boyfriend to judge if we love each other or not. By the way, since the last incident the fight we have not had a fight since then. I thoroughly explained to him that if he ever put his hand on me again it would be over between us and I'm damn sure it won't happen again. I spoke to my bf again today and he told me he thought of me as being no way clingy. I KNOW the difference between love and infatuation, I may only be 16 but I'm not 12. I love my boyfriend and I know he loves me, we might have had problems but everybody does. I value all your opinions and thank you for your advice. By the way, I do trust my boyfriend, he has never lied to me b4 and I'm sure he will not, I trust him more than I trust my own friends, so again I say, nothing you wrote up there applies to me and I'm not uncomfortable if he's around the opposite sex I HAVE NO REASON TO BE, he has assured me of this so many times and even without his assurance I still wouldn't be uncomfortable about it because I know my baby. Again I say thank you

To captainassassin, what purpose do u serve on this site? to criticize or to advise???

Both...

That's just a damn stupid answer

It really does sound like you are borderline obsessing over him. But anyway everybody scattered bcuz of the rain so I went outside and was asking around, u know, if anybody saw him. It was in vain cuz nobody had seen him. I was worried, what's wrong with that? he's my baby, I love him with ever fiber in my body I would if something happened to him. ( What would have happened to him...he was right outside from where you were?? ) Obsession is the dark shadow between needing and wanting...it leaves you empty inside...begging you to fill the hole.

Is it so bad that I like to check up on my bf 24/7s just to c if he's ok, bcuz I do I call him everyday, sometimes just to ask if he's ok cuz I don't want him to be uncomfortable in anyway. (Uncomfortable how?)

*Adrian's out I always call and ask where are you, what are you doing there, who are you with and are you ok??? (Dont you know ahead of time what he is doing, where he's going, and who he's with?)

He likes to go out alot, and when he's out I do just call to see if he's ok, is that so wrong?? (Why are you so hung up on wanting to know if he's ok? i mean, is he in constant danger?) You are very insecure if you have to call him so much. Thats just not normal or healthy.)
I love my boyfriend so much, if I could spend every second of the day with him I would but I can't.
Obsession is one where one consumes the other which is unhealthy. Whereas a healthy relationship shares, not consumes.
Your life revolves around him, it's centered around him, your reactions are to him, etc.

If all of your time and effort goes in to satisfying the needs of another or in chasing after another person then you are at risk of becoming obsessed. If one person is always trying to please the other person or if the relationship is without consideration and compromise then it could be based on obsessive feelings rather than real love. Real love is nurturing and helps people grow but obsession is debilitating and takes away from the psyche of the person caught up in it. If you feel like you have lost yourself, if you are always striving to please your partner without them doing the same for you, and if you find yourself making all your decisions in your life based on the feelings and needs of the other person you are obsessed and not in a real love relationship.

I know you FEEL like your in love, but everything here shows obsession.

I don't live in a safe community, the place can get shot up at anytime, it was raining, those r the times wen the gun men where I live come out for their prey so I had every rite to be worried ( I was inside doing homework) If u knew me and knew him u would then understand the situation, his dad is really in a tite spot rite now, do u know how many times he has went to bed without even water (*Adrian) can;t go to school because he has no lunch money, so I have to call him 24/7 to make sure he's ok ie if he's eaten or whatever. However I can help, I do. I don't always know here he is or where he's going, we don't live 2gether. In Ja, we have a thing called credit and if u don't have that u can't make any calls, that's like u not havin any minutes. I can't go an c him all the time to find out where he's goin and I can't call if I have no credit, so I don't always know where he is. I know he goes out on weekend to specific places, but sometimes they go 2 different places also. I DON'T LIVE IN A SAFE COMMUNITY SO I TEND TO WORRY IF I KNOW HE'S NOT IN HIS HOUSE, u would understand more if u knew wat it was like here!!! All I can tell from wat u've written, u have not experienced love infact, I don't think u have a man now, I maybe wrong. My bf does everythin for me, I have never felt like a lopsided lover because I'm not. So before u can tell me I'm not inlove, try experiencing love first

Hun, I have experienced love. Thats why I say what I say, because my Ex was exactly like you. He had to know where I was, and who I was with ALL the time. Whenever we spent most of the day together, I had to still call him when I got home. HE always had to be with me. He NEVER wanted to hang out with his friends. My mom kept telling me that we were spending way too much time together. (we were both your age)
At the time I didnt think anything of it, but now looking back...she was right. You'll realize that the way you feel now about love, is NOT the way you'll feel 4 yrs from now.

If its not a safe community, then why is always going out? Dont you have to have money to go out? If you are so concerned about him, then why doesnt he spend MORE time with you? Doesnt sound like you two spend anytime together.

We spend everyday together, the only times we don't spend together is when we're at school. I don't go out much because my dad is really over protective, he doesn't allow me to go out (that much) I do hang out with my own girlfriends, I can't do that as often now bcuz of school. It's hard not to go out where I live, even though it's not safe. There's a party, we call them dance everyday of the week here. Seven ppl got shot where I live yesterday, I hope by now u can understand y I worry when I know he's not in his house where he's safe, GOD, is that so damn hard to understand??? Even after spending the entire day 2gether he still calls to find out if I got home safe etc and we talk a little then he hangs up and calls me back later to tell me good night so I'm now going to ask, wat's ur point???You know what, I really don't have to listen to u, if u were saying anything worth while I could understand but ur not so just 4get it. I know I'm not obsessive or infatuating, I LOVE my boyfriend and he loves me that's all there is to it. (Notice the word LOVE in caps)SUBJECT CLOSED

To ask for advice is to open yourself for criticism, unless you simply WANT people to lie to you, or just tell you what YOU want to hear. The whole REASON people ask for advice, is because they feel what their doing is wrong, and/or simply don't know what to do.

*** I LOVE my boyfriend and he loves me that's all there is to it. (Notice the word LOVE in caps)SUBJECT CLOSED***

Okay... The next time he beats you up, don't bother asking us about it again...

captainassassin is right. You asked, we answered.
Its hard to advise when you keep contradicting everything you say. At first you said he likes to go out ALOT! So how can he be with you everyday? Now you are trying to defend him. You never mentioned how he has to call you all the time....you just said YOU were the the one doing all the calling.

AND.....that question about him using you as his punching bag just totally goes against EVERYTHING you say! Abuse Hun in ANY form, is NOT love! It looks like you are too emotionally attached to see that. This relationship is unhealthy no matter how you look at it!