All 'bout long distance relationship and more...

hi, my name is Lien, from Vietnam.

I have had a online boyfriend and we've been together for 8months, he's china, im in vietnam. As his plan, he will go back usa to see family and then him and his mom are going to come here for me at the end of this...

july. However, last week, because he lost his phone and had no internet on those days, we could not contact each other for around 3 days, I was so worried if he was fine, so I looked for some relatives of his, and I found his close friend on myspace who is considered as a sis to him and him as a bro to her, talked to her to see whether she knew anything 'bout how he had been or somethin like that, she got no idea too. In addition, she told me something about him like he is always changing gfs. After that day, I reached him and talked to him, and told him about what I talked with his sis and everything.I was afraid of him being mad at me for contacting her without asking him first but he was not. However, he was so pissed off for what she said to me about him. I guessed they have been fighting with each other, he doesnot want to mention about it to me. I asked if he was mad at me or not, he said he's very angry with sister and he really loves me and everything, after that he has not talked to me again, even when he was online, I tried to talk on msn or sent emails but he did not answer.

What I've been confused here is that what is going on? if he's mad at me? or its all bout him and his sis and he's been so upset, and not wanna talk to anyone these times. I have no idea because he has not talked to me after that day. I dont really care what she told me about him because I love him for what he's now and him of today,not the past. Futhermore, he's kinda a person who isnot very opened to share family matters with people, although im his girlfriend but we's just on the way getting to knwo each other. When his grandpa passed away, he kept it for himself till I asked too much he told me, and it took like 1 week for him to feel better and talked to me again.

I just wanna know what is actually happening but find no way to have the answer from him. I am thinking about contacting his mom although we never seen each other in person ,even talked to her but many times he mentioned to me about her that she knows our relationship and supports us a lot, and that she once wanted to talk to me but he wants us to meet in person first, then I will just talk to her. Morever, another time I missed the chance to have a conversation with her for some reasons.

What do you think if I try to contact her now? I think I need some advices from her, maybe she knows something. I really read some advices in some other websites, everyone gave out their own opinion, like his mom will tell him, he will be mad at me for talking behind him. Or just talk to her to get some advices, she knows her son well, but don't ever try to get her to talk to her son for you, or take your side. I agree I guess so. But the prb here is that I never talked to her before and it may sound a lil bit awkward to contact her all of a sudden I think??

Please, help me...im really confused here,I love him too much and miss him so bad, now even so worried how he's been doing there.

Should I contact his mom and talk to her? That's my question. Thank you for all the answers, your consideration and enthusiasm :-)

Have a nice day,dear.

honestlyy, I've done the long distance thing and I still am for almost a year, I onlyy have two months til I turn 18 we can be together((: anywayyy; im a pro at thiis. its hard to hear, but trust me bc I've never been wrong, promiise. he loves you with out a doubt, men however have needs, I can almost guarantee you that he has women on the side now that times coming down to actually being with you he's brushing all his wrong under the rug.. his 'sis' figure told his secrets, so now he feels betrayed. another thing I can guarantee is that his 'sis' is jealous of yu.. thats why she told you that selective info. the only way to pull him back in is write him an email, a long on filled with memories, convos and what he means to you.. keep it all upbeat and just let him know that yu weren't mistrusting him but yu went to her only out of worry.
p.s.
attatch a pretty picture of you he's never seen.
or even do a more sexyy foto..
like writing his name on yur body in marker modeling it.
I know its work, but thts how yu hold together a long distance relationship(:
I'd try that before you contacted his mother, trust me I'v done similar.. he'll be pist if yu go to her. when yu see him on IM, don't bumbard him, just wait.(:

well I think you should contact his mom. if she supports your relatioship she wont mind and I think she will be glad you are trying to see what is wrong with her son and stuff. just contact her, it will be a big relief after words.

Talking to his sis put us in this situation, and now im really afraid of him may be mad at me after finding out I talk to his mom??? I dont expecet at all the situation will get worse :-( and even if I contact her, im thinking wht I should say to start the conversation lol. actually all what concern is abt his feeling, how he will think... thats it!

I think I wanna tell you more detail about our relationship, then just tell me what you think because well, im so stuck here.

you said abt men's needs, yea I do know it, my boyfriend really has a big need abt sex, he tells me, well, sometimes we just had phone sex and chatting with each other on msn in underwears only lol, somethin like that and well he was quite satisfied, of course not completely because imnot there with him. I also asked him abt that stuff, he said if he just needs me for sex, then he can find a lot of girls around his area and have sex with them. And you know I truly think once you accept a LDR, you have to trust in the other denifitely, believe in your love and that its gonna work and if you cant suffer, then let go of it, right? its hard to do that I know but im trying, Im upset but dont wanna give up on him.

Morever, that sis isnot with him because she's in usa, he's in china now, and he's been in china for around 3 years, I don't know if they saw each other on holiday he came back there or not. but neway she will get married soon. thats it! and sure enough he feels screwed up by her after long time friendship like that.

One more thing is that you see he hasnot talked to him for like 2 or 3 days, if being upset of her makes him need time to think and keeps him from talking to me for a while, it means she must be kinda special to him, rite? and while fighting wit her, he didnot stop reminding me of his love for me, so I trust him, thats my choice. I just expect he will be over her and get back to me soon.

and yea I think I will take your advice that not contact his mom :-)

thanx again for all advices from you guys.

that girl I dont know her and him were in relationship before or not, but now im sure their just friends because she has a boyfriend and will get married in november. I also think he's been so upset to hear wht she talked abt him to me. and Yea I emailed him a lot and wrote just like what you told me like giving him my pics, talking abt our memories and everything, and been waiting for him here. He always reminds me of his love for me is real and he never lied to me abt his feeling 100%, he talked like he very trusts in it and that really works on me you know. Im trying to be patient here, its hard to me neway and I truly know rushing him talking to me will make things worse. I really hope he will talk to me again...

Well, from previous experience, I will say **do not** contact his mother. No matter how much he says he cares or loves u, if you do that--then I fear you could lose him completely. you have already contacted his bff and although you did it out of concern I'm sure it prb upset him almost as much as the info she gave u. Now, if you try to talk to his mom he will prb feel that every time something goes wrong, you are going to be talking to someone in his family or a friend about it. Guys are a lot more private about things than girls are.
Just give him time, although I know its hard to just sit there and wait, its the best and really the *only* thing you can do. Anything else could possibly just push him farther away.
Give him time and if this was truly meant to be , it will work out. If he really loves you things will work out.
Good luck dear!