Adult & minor

okay, im so sick of everyone judging people because they decide to date someone older or younger then there age. I personally dont see anything wrong with it at all because what can a 14, 15, 16 && 17 year old girl or guy do that a 19, 20, 21, && 22 year old girl or guy do. Teenagers these days are having sexual intercourse at the ages of 12 && 13. Teenagers are falling head over heels and in love very young following the adults. I hate how people say its rape if someone dates a 16yr old when there at the age of 21 honestly how is that rape? People judge because they say its wrong but honestly it isnt there are so many people in the world that think its wrong and so many that think its right. A teenager can do anything an adult can do. && males dont even mature when they are in there twenties as females mature at a young age. so can anyone fight with me to the end on the age difference because im seriously fed up && sick of everybodys non-sense.!!! && can anyone tell how they agree with me && we can chat on it??

I disagree with you because most women 16 and younger don't know what love is. they think they do but that doesn't help. I found that older guys date younger girls because they are easy to control and manipulate. And don't try and deny that, I've seen it done and I can do it myself. I had to reject this beautiful 16 year old a couple months back , im almost 21. I would have been a scumbag if I did that, my friends would have kicked the sh*t out of me, and not to mention the fact that its illegal. Because we have strong morals that will stop us from taking advantage of little girls. And thats how I see 16 year old women, they are just little girls who don't have a clue about life but are eager and ready to spend the rest of it with a 21 year old. So what it comes down to as to why I think the age difference is wrong. Its because I've seen older guys use younger girls dozens of times with my own eyes. And I've seen how easy they are manipulated, and I have yet to see one guy that was genuin. every time I see an older guy date a younger girl he's just using her. and until I see otherwise my views arn't going to change. When you get my age you realize that the younger girls are just to easy, it is taking advantage of them, they don't know any better. And this is coming from a 20 year old male who keeps track of what other guys his age are doing, they can't get laid with women their own age, they aim young. I have strong morals, and I know the difference between right and wrong. the age thing, is just wrong. I know this answer is going to set you off, but I know a lot about this because I pay attention.

I dont think there is anything wrong with it ethir I am 15 and my b/f is 18 (you cant rape the willing ) they should let people make there own choices

yeah for surely. like okay whats so wrong with a 21 yr old dating a sixteen year old or a 15 year old dating a 20 year old honestly?

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it, but I'll fill you in with the information:
When you are under the age of 18-years-old you are still considered a minor, which generally means you aren't 'mature' enough to make adult decisions so basically decisions are made for you. Once you hit 18-years-old you are finally considered an adult and sort of get a taste of the world. Sex is considered an adult decision obviously, and yeah young kids are taking part it in, but its still an adult decision either way.
Now once someone 18-years-old or older decides to go and have sex with a minor, its logically called statutory rape because they are having sex with a minor, whom is not an adult which shouldn't be taking part in adult activities. Young kids are obviously still going to have sex, this isn't going to stop anybody. The 'adult' of the relationship just needs to know the precautions.Its really the 'adults' bum thats on the line, because if the minor turned around and said 'that person had sex with me', the 'adult' would be charged with statutory rape. Whether isn't willing or not, thats what separates 'statutory rape' and actual 'rape'. Statutory rape doesn't mean it wasn't willing, it means an adult had sex with a minor. Rape on the other hand, is obviously unwilling sex.
If you really understand it, it makes complete sense.

I don't see the big deal either. I think if you love someone then you love someone no matter what the age difference is. Yeah it would be statutory rape but dating doesn't just mean sex. yeah they will probably have sex but it isn't everything. It's what the two people have between each other and the love they share. I don't think it's right for people to judge others just because there's a little bit of age difference between the two. :]

ummm hey Celebrity Stalker you can rape the willing...its called statutory rape...and yes while I agree you cant put an age on love and or maturity...some people idea of age aint nothin but a number has gone too far...im sorry but 30 yr old dudes should not be finding love in 15yr olds...now if your 15 and your boyfriend or girlfriend is like 18 yeah that cool cause yall probably do have similar mind sets...trust me im 23 and my girlfriend says I act like a child..lol...the only other problem I have is that a lot of the older people in the relationship(especially the guys) tend to take advantage of the young immature mindset of the younger person...just think about it in HS just look at how all the freshman girls walked around drooling over the senior guys...and not cause the guys were anything special but just cause they were seniors...hell im not tall rich or really that athletic and even I played around with like 4 or 5 younger girls just cause I could...I live by the 4 yr rule...which the Gov. is actuall why trying to make a law...that is that as long as you are at least 14 its ok to be with someone 4yrs older than u...So no its not wrong but just be careful especially if your the young on in the relation ship...

Children dont have the maturity to make the 'right' choices. That where parents come into play. Laws are there for a reason>to protect minors like you!

How can YOU think a 16 yr old who is planning on having a baby with her 21 yr old boyfriend is perfectly ok, and should be acceptable? Have you considered YOUR future plans as far as finishing highschool, and going on to college, or does your boyfriend have YOUR whole life planned out for you?

Why dont you help us adults here understand where you all met, and what kinds of things you do together. Hes old enough to go to the bars, and you just got your drivers license. 2 totally different stages in your lives! Do you both hang out with each others friends, or is only just the two of you 24/7? Does he get involved in all your school functions being hes been out of school now for 3 years? Is he planning on attending YOUR prom with you? You may think it looks cool for you to be dating someone so much older because you are still in highschool, but I highly doubt it would look cool for him. Please tell us about your relationship, because some of the questions you had posted (which are now deleted) showed quite a bit of control on your boyfriends part!

you are sooo right !!! I'm sick of it too !! you make a very good point !!! I think people should make their own descisions!!

To: angelfire2708

To answer your questions

How can YOU think a 16 yr old who is planning on having a baby with her 21 yr old boyfriend is perfectly ok, and should be acceptable?

How isnt it okay? you see young girls younger than me having babies. im responseable enough to take care of a baby. what adults dont struggle in there life to care for a baby? im 100% sure me && my fiance could raise and have a well loved baby give it, buy it, && love it to the fullest. my baby wouldnt go with out.

Have you considered YOUR future plans as far as finishing highschool, and going on to college, or does your boyfriend have YOUR whole life planned out for you?

My future I do have my future completely figured out with him or with out him, im pretty sure that a guy that is madly in love with me wont ruin my future. So NO he DONT have my future all planned out. && its not my future its OUR future. After I graduate im moving out of state to florida to go to college && get my life together. && im sure he is following me..

Why dont you help us adults here understand where you all met, and what kinds of things you do together.

We do all kinds of things together our relationship is NOT based on sex like im sure you adults think it is. We do all kind of fun things together like go to the movies, stay at home && watch movies, just cuddle && talk about our future, go shopping, walk around, go to basketball games && baseball games && swim in the summer.

Hes old enough to go to the bars, and you just got your drivers license.2 totally different stages in your lives!

He dont go to bars only once in a while && I dont mind a relationship is based on trust if you didnt know. && he dont go because I dont like him going && he thinks about my feelings. who care if I just got my dl (I didnt even get it yet) im not in a rush to drive its not really a big deal.

Do you both hang out with each others friends, or is only just the two of you 24/7?

We hangout with out friends all of time, by just dancing around listening to music and hanging out and going bowling all the time. So no its not just us 24/7.

Does he get involved in all your school functions being hes been out of school now for 3 years?

No, I dont go to school functions because its to much drama...

Is he planning on attending YOUR prom with you?

No because I have no intentions on going I rather spend my money or something else that one stupid night, having teachers telling you what you can and cant do ill be 18 by then which is an adult && I dont need a baby sitter. I rather hit up a club.

You may think it looks cool for you to be dating someone so much older because you are still in highschool, but I highly doubt it would look cool for him. Please tell us about your relationship, because some of the questions you had posted (which are now deleted) showed quite a bit of control on your boyfriends part!

&& also, we've talked about things && ends met. he isnt controlling. we got past it after a little tender lovin care. I deleted them cuase I got the advice I needed so why keep them up.. if you havent noticed I always delete my questions. also why would I think its cute its called love. age is only a number.. and im 2 million% sure on that.

anything else hun?

You are thinking about having kids, and you are still thinking about 'hitting up clubs,' while 'he don't go to bars only once in a while,' which isn't anything near the English language but I'm assuming that that means that he goes to bars every once in a while. If you want kids that can't be happening, for one, it'll make it seem like that is ok to your kids, and you won't have time for it anyways. I don't care quite so much about age barriers, although I think it is interesting that you chose to answer the easier questions about it rather than Piker's, because he has a very good point that you should consider. I've never known them to be genuine either. Even the ones who ask the girls to marry them, they are just setteling because they couldn't get anyone their own age and want the insurance of having someone there with them for a really long time. 16 year old girls can be as mature as a 25 year old guy, but they don't have as much life experience. They don't have enough experience to know that every guy will tell you what he knows you want to hear. If you are in a less serious relationship with someone closer to your age, you'll figure it out quicker and before you get to into it. You don't seem to definitive in your answers on HOW esactly you are making this money to support this kid. If you are relying on his income, then I can tell you right now that you are wrong. He might love you, but in three years, he might love you and someone else. On top of now loving someone else, he's been with you for three years so you're boring, and she is new exciting... There goes that income. I don't care about age so much, make your own mistakes with that, it doesn't concern me or anyone else really, I believe in learning your lessons the hard way, but it is pretty immoral to bring a kid into the world when you are only sixteen. That isn't fair to that kid. You can't rely on anyone but yourself to take care of that kid. If you cannot take care of it completely self sufficiently, or have been married for at least three years and can jointly handle the burden, then you are predisposing that child to the sufferings of poverty. When you are at school and at work, that is time when you cannot see that child, where it is with a babysitter or your mother. Your babysitters, are going to be your age, and they don't give a f*ck about your kid, and will be talking on the phone with their 21 year old boyfriend when your kid is choking.

To: Brian 88

Im 100% sure if I had a baby I would give it all of my time everyday so I wouldnt have to worry about my son or daugther choking because I have a baby sitter talking to her 21 year old boyfriend. I wouldnt be going out to clubs because im not like all of these other teen moms who rather go out && party then spend time with there baby that they spread there legs open to make.

I don't see the problem either..why is it wrong for a 16 year old to date a 21 year old but okay for a 21 year old to date a 40 year old I don't see why its wrong who gives anybody the right to tell someone the cant fall in love with somone cause their to old or young for them you cant choose who you have feelings for

Unfortunately, this is a lesson you won't get until you are older. I encourage you to keep this posting. put it in an envelope and stash it away somewhere until 2013. If you still feel the same way about your specific set of circumstances, I'll mail you $100.

Again to briand 88

How can you tell someone how much they have && have not experienced in life? im pretty sure I've experienced a lot in life for being the age I am now. We've been together for two years already and hes treated me the best ever. I was in a somewhat relationship for on && off nine months and he was my age && treated me horrible, wanted me to do things with him that I didnt want to do. Now I have someone who loves me treats me rights && respects me for me. wouldnt force me to do anything I didnt want to do. respects me && my future. How am I going to support my kid.? Im pretty sure that my boyfriend has a well of enogugh job to support me && our unborn child. we wouldnt struggle but if we did everyone once in a great while im sure our family would help us out if we needed it.

To meganhead.

what lesson do I have to earn honestly.

my mothers husbands is like 7 or 8 years older than her.
my grandmother husband is 10 years older than her.

they fell in love with someone older why can I? im pretty sure I know what im doing. im a girl that actually has her life together and I know what I want in life. im not no bumb that has no clue && gives up on life. I take life as I come && I go with the flow. my grades stay hi and my relationship with my boyfriend doesnt go to far. we've been threw a lot but we manage. how can you adults say a teenager cant fall in love? maybe cause when you were a teen you guys got your heart cut out and ripped and thrown on the floor so you think every teen will get hurt. I know people who married there high school sweet heart and had kids at young ages. im pretty sure age is just a numberr...

hey... my hubby is 10 years my senior. I see what you are saying. what I am trying to tell you is that you won't understand the difference between 15 and 21 until you are 21 and he is 27. it is just different. I am not judging you. I understand why you feel that way, and nothing but time and life experiences will change your mind.

I don't get it. If you love them age shouldn't matter, sex is a way of showing love.

if your parents agree then nothins going to happen...im 16 my soon to be husband is almost 19...u get crap...but if you love him and he loves you then you can both deal with all the crap...most adult marriges range from 1day difference in age to 10 or 15 years difference...but no1 says nething bout that...so whats 5 years???

can you see how it is inappropriate to have a 6 and 10 year old play together... they are in such different stages of maturity. maybe it's more about your decision making abilities and what influences them. do you respect a ten year old's opinion? that is comparitively how an adult sees you... inexperienced and full of hormones that influence you. I told you I can't explain it. that is the best I can do.

ok heres what I think you can comment on it if you really want to. see im friends with a lot of guys that I've known forever. and most of them are at the age 20,21,22 and im 13. we are just friends. we all go to the same church and have the same beliefs and all my friends are NOT pervs. thats against our beliefs and they are smarter than that because they have faith. so it really depends on who your dealing with. because at the same time I like one of my 21 year old friends and I told him and he doesnt mind we are still friends and nothing is going on between us because we both decided lets wait till im 18 and then we'll see if its really meant to be.see I know part of me is all 'im in love' but I know im not old enough to determine what love is for real. so it really matters what you believe in if you think love is love and if you think age is just a number and if you are smart enough to think about the situation and talk to the person whos an adult and if you guys are both willing to wait and chill out because you really have a love that strong then you guys are good so if you think 7 years and 8 year differrences is too much keep that to yourself because other people believe that there love can overpower the fact that age is involved.

Yes dear, I beg to differ with you on deleting all your questions. Your boyfriend was going on this site, and he didnt like the fact you were telling everyone your problems, so you keep deleting them so he doesnt see! You even mentioned how mad he was, so you can say whatever you need to to make us all think you have this wonderful relationship when the truth is you dont, or you wouldnt have been asking all kinds of questions about your relationship.

If you plan on spending ALL your time raising your baby at 16, how in the world are you going to go to college? You really do need to concentrate on getting through highschool, and less time trying to convince us normal, and rational people that its perfectly ok for a 16 yr old to have a baby, and be able to give it everything it needs! You are being VERY selfish to think that a child (you) could give whatever a baby needs, when you are still growing yourself! Most teen moms out there didnt plan on having their babies! I'm sure if they could do it all again, they would have chose to be more responsible. Your parents would help you out...? That justifies it all doesnt it?
*AGE IS ONLY A NUMBER WHEN BOTH PARTIES ARE OVER 18*!!

Props to you piker & briand! I have been trying to tell her the exact same thing, but she just isnt getting it! meganhead said it, you wont get it until you are older, and wiser! Wanting a baby at 16, having sex at 16, and dating a 21 yr old at 16, doesnt make you mature by any means. Experience comes with age, and you are still maturing!

So you are going to spend all your time with it. You aren't going to college. If your guy ever leaves you, or dies, or becomes disabled, who will pay for your expenses? You may get a secretary job, may. Will your family completely financially support it? I think if your mother wanted another child, she would have birthed one herself. And how much you've experienced in your life- 'I've experienced a lot for my age.' Exactly, for your age. There is only so much you could have been through at your age. Having a kid isn't like I'm more qualified than everyone my age so I should be able to have it, it's I have everything it will ever want or need, I've been with this person for a really long time, and I trust them. Two years, is NOT a long time. I'm not denying that you could meet someone in high school and be with them forever. Many people do, but more people don't, and none of the ones who don't ever thought, 'I'm not going to be with this girl in five years,' They all thought what you think, I'm going to be with this person forever, no matter what. It is hard to realise what can happen when you are in love. If you have the rest of your life, what is the point of risking it and having a kid this early? That's flat out irresponsible and dumb. But what the f*ck should anyone expect? You are a teenage girl after all.
Brian D.

im 15 and my boyfriends 18, people have benn like 'oh why are you raping her' and all that stuff but hey hes a great guy and never pressures me to do anythiing with him so im not letting age get in the way

Depending on what state you live in, a 16 year old having sex with someone over 18 is completely legal. google 'age of consent' for a list of states and their age of consent.

In michigan it is perfectly 100% legal for a 16 year old to have sex with anyone they want, as long as their partner is also over 16. This is because the age of consent for sex in michigan is 16.

Despite what people think they know about 'Having sex with anyone under 18 is always illegal' which is a false statement. It goes on state laws. A majority of states are either 16 or 17 for the age of sexual consent. Some states have certain limits as of closeness of age, others don't. Michigan is straight up 'you can screw who you want at 16 and up.'

I guess you forgot to mention to these people how he is abusive...But I'm just...heretotellthetruth. =)

Iam going to be 16 and my boy friend is 19 turning 20 in november evreyone makes a huge deal including my parents which makes me sneak around 2 meet him I need 2 see him I really dont know why it is such a big deal 5 years wow

people these days need to stop judging yes thats what I would like to know how is that rape when your in love this is a free country where not in the past when marther luter king had to give a speech and hes the one he set our country free so judge all you want and make people famous but its a sin judging on young adults so say whatever yall like your not hurting me your hurting your selfs so people STOP JUDGING!

judging people is like living in hell I dont see the big deal if its true love!

im going out with a 39 yr old big woop dont judge others it would be different if you was doing it wont it!!! its like you can date who ever you like but others cant
age is just a number if we all love our partners then thats all what mattrs

Well if your 16, in some states , that is the age of consent, so if you lived in MD for example, a 16 and a 21 y\o could legally have sex.- if thats what your worried about...Check you states consent age.. But I would keep your guard up, because honestly, 21 y\o's don't date 16 y\o's...Kinda weird.

couldnt have said it better myself. age is just a number. my boyfriend is only 2 years older than me and im 14. but still I know people dating illegally and the guys are not like messed up for doing so. they get a long great and have had wonderful relationships.