24 year old not allowed to have freedom.

Hi all. I am 24.I was raised by overprotective parents and I am the youngest in the family. My dad passed away ,mum is still alive. I moved in with my 36yr old sister,her husband who was attacked by stroke and my nephew. The reason I moved in with them...

was for emotional support as my sister was really going through a tough time.

I am thankful that my family raised me into the woman I am today BUT I am very stressed because 1. I am not allowed to be in relationship.2. I can't go out.3. Both my mom and my sister will not allow me to move out on my own though I do work,have saved up enough cash to buy myself a house ,I am responsible,I can do house work,cook, laundry.

The problem is my family will cut ties with me if I do move out anyway without saying anything. I am tempted to pack and go because nobody listens to me and I am not going to whine about my needs like a little girl.I feel trapped and suffocated,it really frustrates me.I have never been a bad girl in the past.never gone out late,never been disrespectful to my family.All of this is problematic. Am I a hostage here?

I have been thinking of leaving this place so that I can live my own life where nobody dictates me so that I can learn from my own mistakes. On the other hand I don't want to lose my family.I even lost the man of my dreams because I am not allowed to go out.

Why can't they understand that I am grown up and won't be a 'baby' forever and that they have to let go and let me grow up and see the world??All this makes me emotionaly withdrawn and depressed. HELP!!!
Stressed

*** Both my mom and my sister will not allow me to move out on my own though I do work,have saved up enough cash to buy myself a house

If you are financially independent, then you are free to simply walk out the door. It may seem scary, and I'm sure you don't want to hurt their feelings, but it's probably what you need to do.

They might cut ties for a while out of anger/spite, but if they love you, that won't last forever. And if they don't love you, then why do you care?

Have a sit down with them and talk.
Ask them their reasons for not letting you do this and that.

Or if they're just being asses about it and the above doesn't work, tell them you are moving out and thats final. At 24 you are legally entitled this stuff. You should be able to go especially if you are responsible and all that. Which it sounds like. Give them a number of weeks notice before you do move out though.

Because your parents are overprotective and you are the youngest, they probably don't want to lose their last child if you get me.

First I have to question if there is a religious or cultural practice behind their reasoning as it sounds rather similar to that of the Muslim religion and the Indian culture and lifestyle.

Moving on from that, Everyone needs to learn from their own mistakes. At 24, you should be on your own and allowed to get a true grip on reality of balancing a work and social/personal life, bills, struggles/obstacles, etc.

The conflict here is that if this were to fall into the culture mentioned above, these beliefs are centuries old and often times it is believed that you cannot move out on your own until you marry. (And that man is usually chosen for you, or at least a selection would be provided of approved suitors)

I would say you're only option at this point would be to sit them both down and relay that you need to prove to yourself that you are fully capable of being an independent adult and that you are going to venture out onto your own, keeping with you all of the strong values your family has instilled within you.

Explain that your moving out won't change your beliefs or who you are as a person, you simply need to begin your journey and walk your path in life. I would then go on to say that family was important to you and that you do not want to lose them, however if that is what it takes, then that is what it takes.

Hopefully you resolve this and they will come around.

Basically, you're 24 and you can do whatever you want with YOUR life! Not being allowed a boyfriend etc is beyond me for a person your age. You can well look after yourself.

Start looking for a place and tell your family that you plan to start your own life. They might 'disown' you, but really, family is family. They will surely stick around. They will surely miss you, especially your mother.

And if they cut you off (not like you need anything from them anyway), there is no reason that you should cut them off as well. Call your mother/any family member to chat once in a while just to keep in touch, invite them over for tea to your new place sometime, etc. Or they might not want to ever see you anymore. Their loss, but you'll have to think about that and accept that fact. You deserve your own life, good luck.

While they are your family, and all of this is very hard for you (we're all genetically hard wired to love our families in some measure), it might be time to cut your losses.

You're 24 years old- by law, you're an adult. You're capable of making your own decisions, and dealing with consequences. When your family still dictates what you can and can't do, you can't help but wonder whether they're really worth the drama. If you don't take the risk, get out there and live how you want to, you'll get ten years down the track and resent them for all the chances you missed out on.

Besides, they're putting conditions on their love for you- loving, caring families will love you no matter what, even if you make choices they don't agree with. What they are doing is psychological abuse, something you need to get as far away from as you can.

pack youyr stuff and move.. you are an adult.. even the law says so.. Tell them straight.. Bye im moving.. here is my residential address.. you know where I am if you want to come visit.. If they are conserned for you.. they will not cut ties.. they will want to come see what you are up to.. and if you are ok.. Do your own thing.. simple.. if your sister has moved on.. so can you.. Go.. go go go .. Run like the wind.. you missing out on life.. so much to do and experience.. Run run run.. Spread them wings and discover how much is out there..
There is tons.. Promise