IM LEAVING FOR JAPAN TONIGHT SO I WONT BE ON THAT MUCH OR AT ALL FOR ABOUT A MONTH........I PROMISE ILL GET BACK TO YOU ALL THOUGH..I LOVE YOU AND ILL MISS YOU (FRANKIE AND LIZ)!!!!!!!

IM SORT OF A BIG DEAL THESE DAYS!!

want to know a secret about me?? IM SPECIAL

I JUST WANTED YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT I AM INDEED A 35 YEAR OLD MAN NAMED HANK...I LIKE LITTLE GIRLS AND AM BIG ON PUTTING FAKE PICS OF MYSELF ON HERE FOR YOU VIEWING PLEASURE!!!!
sooo......I am this amazing funny girl that everyone loves even though im loud and silly and never serious and if you insult me the words most likley to come out of my mouth are "yer mom"........I have these amazing freinds and you cant have them because im not the sharing type .....im obsessed with hello kitty.....she's mine and you cant have her....I LOVE HANNAH MONTANNA ....I love to eat ice cream outside in the snow during the winter.....I play guitar in my hello kitty underpants.....and I dance to the spice girls every time it comes on in my cd changer and yes!!!! I know ALL the words......I am a germaphobic...wash your hands after you go to the bathroom...gosh..I never trust a table thats been cleaned at a resturant..luckily I pull out my hand sanitizer and drench the table and wash it to my standards which are well.....geez..amazing!!!!

PREGNANCY CAN OFTEN LEAD TO AN INFANT

I am a huge vegetarian and I hate when people but meat in my face...its so mean

so liz and frankie are my best freinds your jelous and we are going to run away and leave all you sticks in the mud behind because we are that gangster!!!!!!

haha...so I am the luckiest girl in the entire world....because austin has agreed to marry me!!!! he is mine I officially own him....

I said what I meant
I meant what I said
my hearts on the floor
its already dead
you stepped and stomped
and broke it in two
all these things thats you said they had no meaning now my hearts on the floor
it cant keep beating
this hole that it has represents no remorse
for all the little things that take life of its course
you twitch and you stall
but this is lifes continous brall
whats right and what wrong
the vision of good that we had
is to soon gone

raindrops fall to earth surface
almost as if they have no purpose
and in the sky the sun hath shone
but only to meet the moons cold silvery dome
the wind it whips round
while tornados rip their way home bound
the struggle of the little bee
oh how he fights to be free
the water has a way with words
it keeps in time with the birds
in the sea shell you can hear the ocen
but nature is earths true potion

and so this mourn I lay your ashes
upon earths green green grasses
I say goodbye to all the past
and still I feel that it isnt the last
I want to shout out and scream your name
yet it will only bring me great pain
sadness is my greatest veil
it feels as though me hearts been driven with a nail
the happiness we had has been lost
it was taken with a great cost
I watch at night the small bright stars
which resemble headlights on cars
those which have taken you away from me
so in a better place you will be

I've got a smile in my pocket
I save it for special occations
I like ice tee and to go on vacation
I am the sh*t
you cant beat me
I still like ice tee.........I spelled tea wrong
I love myself...you love me too....everybody does.......haha

no jkjkjkjk lololol....I heart your fukking makeup...omg I love you hair.....is that a new tattoo..did that peircing fukking hurt..no jkjkjkjk lololol

when you look back on your childhood you remember simple things that probably everyone did at one time or another such playing in sandbox on a sunny afternoon in the summer or playing in the leaves on a autum afternoon or perhaps a casual snowball fight with the neighbor kids. All these things I do not recall.
I did however have a dog. His name I remember to be spanky. He was a strange looking dog, not like the typical family golden retreiver. We found spanky as a pup in a dumpster outside the diner that my mother freuquently pulled double shifts at. Quite possibly that is why I seldom saw her, but that is besides the point. He was one of the most ugly dogs you would ever lay eyes on.
Even as a pup he was on of those dogs that you know will be ugly till the day it falls over dead. From his brown miss shapen snout to his short stubby tail. His course thinning coat was always my welcome home from a trying day out there in the big ol' world. I can remeber bringing him home to our one bedroom partment.
He looked as though he was in eutopia. Even with all the discolored walls and dirty socks laying where their owner hd dropped them, spanky was in his prime. To me our little apartment that had housed three very niosy children besides myself and I being the oldest was a personal unpaid over worked nanny. Oh the jelousy
I had as little girl watching all the children buy icecream from the icecream man. My mother could barley afford our little what you could call home. My dear old mother, how she cared about us. Well I suppose she must, who else would work three jobs to support their family. She was a gentle woman but had quite a short
temper when she wanted. Ever since my father skipped town she hasnt been the same. I always felt weird about not having a father figure since the traditional family had one but in later years I had come to find that mine was not all together, or perhaps in his right mind. That may be the exact reason why he is a nursing home at
the age of 35. Although if everyone was smart and together then I guess we'd all be equal and where is the fun in that. There is quite a few things I learned in life and one of them is life is not worth living if your not youself.
I can't say that the rest of my younger years were to important because they basically consisted of disappointment and let down. dont get me wrong there were good times but im sure if we were a normal family they would not be considered as normal
I do recall high school though clear as a glass. we had moved from california to new york. what a change that was. when you start to think that everyone thinks that your a weirdo in the first place and then you move to nothingness then you find yourself to be more of a disappointment to someone somewhere else.
I quess moving also made me realize two things. One I am a coward and two I didnt quite care what people thought anymore. If you listen and take to heart everything that everybody says then you are a mindless robot that needs to be placed in front of a firing squad. good looks and money are not everything. you could be
loaded and be an idiot. I think thats why I was never envious of rich people. Most of them are all paris hilton wannabe's. Even nicole richey is to good for paris hilton. She brings the meaning to dumb blonde.
Anyways walking into that sad looking high school wasnt any diffrent than california but the looks from people were. I never understood why people are so judging at first glance, before you say one word you already have a reputation and are classified under some ridiculous catagory. The way I see it is every where you go there
is always someone that wont like you, you cant please everyone so why do you bother trying. I often question why people even exist. are we all on this earth to talk about other people, to be labeled, or better yet believe everything that everyone says. Rumors, I never got the point. Its amazing that when somebody tells you something about someone else they
automatically believe it, no matter what it is. Isnt that what a rumor is? A lie about someone, then why are they so believable to everyone? Its like watching t.v. or going on the internet or better yet reading the national iquirer and believing that elvis is indeed in that cave in kansas with abraham lincoln and george washington. My god people have no brains these days.
so I was walking to my first class holding my schedule that the snooty secratary in the main office gave me. The whole time she was smaking her gum loudly and tapping her pencil on a notepad. People like that I just want to shout enough already, and break there pencil in half. But no I cant I never can I am this quiet girl everyone wonders what is thinking.
oh if only they knew. Half the things I think people would never suggest existed. So she handed me my schedule and a school map which was so poorly drawn it looked like a monkey put a crayon in between it toes and tried to draw a self portait while eating a banana. I discarded it into the trash while quickly exiting the office. I am more of a do it yourself kind of person anyways
no body give you a map to life so why do you need a map of a school. School maps are almost always ridiculous to read anyway. I finally found my class room. I knocked on the door and then tried to open the door only to find it locked. who locks a classroom door anyways, are they afraid of someone trying break in and steal the knowledge? or better yet maybe they lock the doors so they can do
terrible things to the children inside. so the short slightly plump teacher opens the door and gives me quite the look. She must have seen someone else walk past me. who am I kidding. I must have been the only kid in that school with an unnatural hair color. they must have thought that I was some drug dealer or that my parents where coke heads. either of their thought suited me, frankly the less they know
about me the better off I am. I kind of like to be alone with my thought till I cant stand it anymore and I am forced to write them down. So I told her that would be a new addition to the class. she told me to take a seat and I handed her my information paper that I was required to hand to all the teachers. for some reason they all had to sign it. I felt like some convict that they were keeping tabs on. surely they dont do this to all there new students. I walked slowly to the bck row where I chose my seat set my bag down and looked up to see about 25 shiny pale faces looking intensely into my face. they looked like hitlers army all off them with there perfect features they might not have been arians but they were damn close to it. So I stared back at them. What else could I do? I felt the one white flower
in a feild in dandilions. terrible analogy I know but dandilions are annoying just like them. the teacher walked over to me and patted me cautiously on the shoulder and told the class my name was kennedy grace williams. I know I know everything thinks that your parents must have been into hard drugs to force a name like that upon a child. Who knows what my mother was thinking, I dont. I never know.
she then proceeded to tell me her name was ms.wendy. I wonder if that was her first name or her last. I never thought to ask, and I just didnt care. She brought me a book and told me that this was my history book and to take very good care of it. the book was ripping at the seams and the cover had fallen of, I bet thats why she had to tell me it was a history book. I'd try not to mess it up anymore than it was. if thats what you call taking good care of it
better yet id drop it into the nearest trash can, that would be taking real good care of it. Finally after listening to her droan on and on for I would say a good thirty minutes about the freaking russian revolution the bell rang. For gods sakes cant those people give it up already stalin turned out to be a huge jerk anyways. I walked quickly to find my locker I dont quite know why, I didnt have anything in it! Maybe I just wanted to see if it was a peice of junk just like
all the rest of the things in this school. in california kids used to shove me in my locker for fun, here you couldnt even fit three books in. I was kind of glad I couldnt fit in my locker, that was one thing I could say was good about this school. I remember this one time this girl that hated me shoved me into my locker and I couldnt get out naturally so I was in there the wholr night. It was terrible
so anyways, my schedule said that I had math then I had bio and then I had art. all of those classes were basically a repeat of history, till I looked down and saw that my scehdule said lunch. Lunch that was one class of the day I thought couldnt be so bad. But then there is always the problem of who to sit with. I was new and im sure from all the awkward glances that not to many people wanted a girl well, and unknown girl like me sitting at there table
its what they consider social scuicide. something like that.
the cafeteria wasnt hard to find, naturally its the only thing in the school that has a reeking aroma coming from it. or you could just do what I did, follow the arians. I decided that that is what I would call them all from now on. im sure I already had a name. in california my name was scrub, or what ever that means.
what a choicy lunch menu. Chicken patty, pizza, or peanut butter and jelly. Well, the pizza didnt look like and old sock that had been festering for months underneath my sisters bed so I got that. Apparently there is this law that says your not allowed to eat salt in school. Do they honestly think that we are going to harm ourselves with salt. The kids dont even care either, its like they'e lost their civil liberties to eat salt
and they dont even care. I have finally come to the conclusion that they are definatly brain dead robots.
so I walked out of the lunch line into the oldest looking cafeteria I have ever seen. I think that the amish built this school in like 1818 or something. I looked around and saw one free table open, perfect nobody was sitting there. That way there wasnt anybody trying to ask me ten million questions. So I sat down and started to open my milk when I heard this vioce so candylike it was almost sickening. it reaked of phony. I turned around to see this tall blonde with the shortest skirt I ever
saw looking at me like she wanted to back away before she caught a germ that I apparently had. I felt like standing up and coughing in her face, but I didnt, I never do. all of a sudden her eyes turned into narrow slits kind of like a snakes before it devouers you. she said in the nastiest tone "you sitting at our table" I really wish it had her name on it somewhere s I could agree with her. Of course it wasnt there, its never going to be there. So, in a way she was a lair. I simply got up and walked away but I
took my sweet time doing it.
there was absolutly no place to sit. so I went walking around the school maybe I'd just sit in the hallway and eat, what did I care. then I saw the bathroom, it looked so inviting. oh god I feel like lindsey lohan. so I went to the bathroom and locked myself in the stall. finally I was saftly hidden away from those rabbit stealing mushroom monsters. The bathroom was quiet. probably because it looked like nobody had been in there in the past decade. I didnt care, id eat lunch in here every day from now on
this would be my hiding spot. I guess it was my repreif from all those weirdo's.
after lunch I only had one more class, english! I loved english. its where I can vent all I want through writing, but of course they were reading julius ceasar. honestly I loved shakespeare, but being the reightous man that he was brutus was still a sell out. finally the bell rang. they all rushed out of the class, but as usual I took my sweet time doing it and of course the teacher wanted to talk to me. I knew what was coming she wanted to know how my first day was going. I wanted to tell her that this school
is terrible and all the people in it are bubble headed idiots, but instead I told her that I needed time to adjust because this was a big change from california. she told me she understood and I ran out of the classroom as soon as I could. im not a fan of running but desparate times call for desparate measures. I gathered my books that I was supposed to take good care of and threw them into my backpack. I walked out the school entrance, and began to walk home